Saturday, June 06, 2009


Hi, my name is: Icarus

I went running with James today, and it was awesome. It was a very focusing run. It helped me take a step back and look at life and what I want to do and to be.

I've got a plan now, and I'm super excited about this plan. It's audacious and it's pretty much bound to fail. But I am determined to not give up. It's my plan and I'm sticking with it. Because really now, who's to say what I'm capable of? Who's to say that I'll fail? Maybe I will. But hey, I've got a shot at it, so I'm going to take it.

My advisor emailed me back. It wasn't a super long email, but he essentially said, "Yes, you will have prereq problems, but the teachers should be willing to sign you in anyways. I'll be retired by the time you get back, but this other guy should be able to help you. Good luck on the mission." It was cool to get a response. I know that's his job and all, but it was nice for me to get my thoughts out there and to get his thoughts back. In a small way, it's sort of like getting the "Yeah, I believe in you." back. I know it's not that dramatic, but it wasn't something like, "Nah, you can't hack this, go home." It was nice, that's all.

So, yeah, I'm feeling much better. Less sluggish. Tomorrow looks like it ought to be a really good day. This cat is off to read and then to sleep. It's 1:46 AM, but that's a ton earlier than the past few nights has been. It feels good. I ran today, I've done a little bit of work to actually earn this sleep tonight. Feels nice.

Friday, June 05, 2009


I'm alive, really. And I do still think and feel, even if I haven't written in a while. This past week has been a little ridiculous. I've really enjoyed it, but there hasn't been a ton of life progress involved. I got a sweet computer game for my birthday, Mass Effect, and me and Michael have been logging lots of hours late into the night on it. Because my life is almost entirely up to me right now, that means I stay up very late and wake up very late. It's not a good way to get much done, but it's been a good time. I'm torn right now between just finishing the game (we're pretty close) or just quitting cold turkey because I can't handle this lack of accomplishment for much longer. There are things that I need to get done that I haven't been getting done. But hey, that's only up to me.

I leave for PLC on Tuesday. That's pretty sweet action. I'm not ready for it, but I think that I will be by then. I need to fix my bike up, pack, and learn all the lessons I'm supposed to be teaching. It should be fun. I've never been an "Adult advisor" before. That'll be cool.

I finally emailed my chem advisor today. Technically he's not my chem advisor since I'm not a chem student. But when I do become a chem student, then he'll be my chem advisor. Either way, I emailed him my proposed schedule just to see if it's realistic and doable. It's a little smashed up because of AP credit and other classes I took without knowing I wanted to do chemistry. But I'm hoping that it'll work. It's a pretty fierce return semester, but I'm really excited about it. It's what I want to do, and I'm so happy to finally have something to work towards.

I'm supposed to be going camping tonight. I don't really want to. Not because I don't like camping, because I do, but because there is other stuff that I'd like to do tonight. I suppose it can be okay, if I work harder right now I can manage most of it, and I can finish the rest on Saturday. Hmm.

Work. Haven't been doing much of it. I feel really good when I do work. I should do more of it.

Okay, I'm out. I've got a bike to fix up. Sorry about the lack of postage, I should be managing more of it in the near future. I've been liking life, I just need to work harder. Nobody is forcing me into anything these days. It's this insane lack of schedule or outside responsibility. There's a list of things to be done, and aside from the occasional reminder from mom, it's entirely up to me. This is life, and it's always been life. No new concepts or governing principles here. This isn't a surprise and it's nothing new. And I know what I need to do. I just need to do it. So here I go, to do it. Whoosh.