Thursday, March 23, 2006

Keep It Real

Hey again neverland. I know that nobody reads this. I had a pretty good audience for a while, till I stopped posting. So, in the event that somebody reads this, howdy.

Ya know, life is very interesting right now. Thinking about it, it's different than it has ever really been for the past 3 years. Not just different in what happens in my life, but different down to the very core. It's not just like I'm living in a different place, I'm living very differently.

The fact of the matter is, there is no target right now. For the past 3 or 4 years of my life, there's always been someone that I really liked. This made making decisions alot easier. It's friday night, where do you wanna go? Wherever she's gonna be, I don't care. You were always trying to maximize your opportunities to 'maybe' go talk to her. It made decisions very easy.

Well, here we are now, just happy to be standing. When I go to bed, I think about something new every night. Sometimes I think about space, other times I think about the future. Sometimes I think about frisbee, or track, or school, or the how good it's gonna feel when I finally fall asleep. This is insanely different from normal times, when you go to bed thinking about somebody.

So really, neither situation is better than the other, it's just very different. When I say very different, I don't just mean "very different." I mean different down to the very deepest reaches of the decision making processes inside your head. It's a whole different mind set. You find yourself being alot lazier, and having alot less variation in your whole mood. Whoohoo, she just smiled at you. While beforehand that would have made your day, now it just sorta makes you smile a little, but then you move on. It's different.

However, lets not get the crazy idea into our heads that I don't like anybody. I just don't "like" anybody. Yeah, I do like people/person/persons/halo, but I'm not about to do anything about it. I'm not about to go put myself on the line, not until somebody else does at least.

So, aside from that doom and gloom prospect, things are pretty peachy in my life. I went to the doctors yesterday, and things weren't looking too great, but they're gonna get better. My A1c was 8.4, and it ought to be somewhere around 7.4. I'm still not 6 foot, and that makes me cry inside. But, we talked about some stuff, and we got some junk figured out, so I'm gonna take alot better care of myself, and things will be good.

There's alot of stuff I want to write about. The big thing I really wanna talk about is the future. I've got 3 big ideas for the future I wanna get written down, but I just haven't had the drive to do it. Maybe some time in the future.

But either way, I've been thinking alot lately, just about everything. There's been all sorts of time to think. Not because I've had alot of free time or anything, but just because I'm always deep in thought these days.

So, the question that I've been thinking about lately has been thus: Is life fair? I mean, I know that life is fair, but then why are there so many differences in people?

The way I see it, life is just like any other thing in the world. You get out of it what you put in to it. I know that that is a stupid concept that everybody has heard before, but let's talk about it. We'll use region dances as an example.

If you go to a region dance and don't ask any girls to dance, you will not have fun. It doesn't matter how fun the fast dances are, or how many of your friends are there. You are not going to have as much fun if you do not ask girls to dance. Granted, asking girls to dance is pretty hard. First, you've got to select a girl. This is probably the hardest part. You've got to ask the right people, and you can't ask the same person more than once a dance, unless it's under special circumstances. We all know why not, and it starts with a "kyle." So then you've got to get the courage to go ask her. This really isn't all that hard, but it's still a major step. Some guys just have trouble with it, I dunno what the deal is. After that, you're forced to talk to this girl. Sometimes that comes easy, and other times it's like pulling teeth.

So, we've concluded that asking a girl to dance is hard, but that if you don't do it, the dance isn't going to be a much fun. Are we in agreement here? If we aren't, skip the next part, cause I'm assuming we are. Life is very similar to this. When we walk in to a region dance for the first time, we are all essentially equal. Sure, some people's clothes look better than others, and your hair might be cooler than mine, but we're all pretty much on equal ground.

So, stupid example time. Me and kyle walk into the first region dance ever. We both spot Girl "A" at approximately the same time. We say "Hey, she's pretty cute, and looks like she's fairly intelligent. I should go dance with her." So, we both want to do this. Slow song comes on, and I don't do it. Kyle goes over there, and asks her to dance. He does so, has a good time. The end of the dance comes, and I haven't danced with this girl.

So, next month comes, same situation. We walk in, and there she is in all her beauty. I think "Man, she's pretty good looking, I should ask her" but I don't. Kyle however, goes up and asks her to dance. Since he danced with her last month, they're both more comfortable, they laugh alot, and have a good time.

This goes on and on. 6 months down the road, they are friends, and I don't know this girl. How fair is that? Kyle has a hot friend, and I've got nothing but cookie crumbs all over my tie. How is this fair?

We both walked in to the first region dance 100% equal. This girl had never met either of us. We're both tall, pasty white, and pretty cool. There really is not a reason just off the bat to choose one over the other. but here we are, she thinks he's a studmuffin, and that I'm a loser.

Long story short, kyle put in the work necessary, and I didn't. He gets the awesome reward, and I get nothing.

So, lets apply it to life. We walk in to this life equal. I'm a firm believer in that. We're not all as fast as aaron clements, but we're all as cool as aaron in our own ways. Everyone has their own "gifts" or "talents". I know that sounds like hippy talk that your 2nd grade teacher used to tell you, but it's true. Everybody is special, and everybody has their stuff. We all walk in equal, and what happens in the end is based upon our work.

If you spend the next 3 years of your life on the couch, you're not going very far. If you spend the next 3 years of your life running track every day, practicing hard, and just working like a beast, you'll be an athlete. Athlete vs. fat kid, the athlete wins every time. Why? Cause he put in more work.

So, get to work slacker.

Therefore, I have made some goals for myself. I really want to do these, and I definitely think that I can.

1) Finish March Madness
2) blog every week, something good
3) Do a shot before I eat every single time that I can
4)Get my homework done before 12 4 out of 5 days a week
5) Go to track practice every day. Stop complaining about it
6) Keep the 4.0 fire alive
7) Never give up, never slack on my world history assignment
8) Do my hair every morning, even though I don't want to.
9) Be patient with everyone, and always listen.
10) Break the 5 minute mile

So, score it eh. Now this list changes into other stuff. Stuff I wanna do, but not necessarily goals. Not sure how to explain it. More like a wish list.

11) Stay me
12) Stop making stupid predictable jokes
13) Be sincere instead of phony
14) Stop being judgemental
15) Read my scriptures every night
16) Brush my teeth every night
17) Work like mad during carpet this year
18) Program something good
19) Write something good
20) Make a difference in someone's life
21) Fly a kite at least once this year
22) Get a good hug that's meaningful. Not sure how that's gonna work, but hey.
23) Get some muscles
24) Get to bed earlier, wake up earlier
25) Grow up, change the world.
26) Go on a mission
27) Be cured of diabetes
28) Have a windmill
29) Plant a tree this year.
30) Get the eagle.
31) Don't die any time soon.

Yeah, that's all I got so far.

So, what's up mystery blank? anything you're interested in knowing? Any questions? Comments, concerns? here's the thing. I'm sitting here writing to nobody. Comforting in a way, dissappointing in another. But in reality, I'm doing this for me and you both. I don't just write for me. Do I affect you, oh mystery blank? Maybe I'll never know, but maybe I will. In the end, it's bed time. Have a good night.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006


Wow, it's been a while. I haven't written in 3 weeks or so, maybe more. I really have wanted to, but things have been sort of rough. Well, things are still sort of rough, but I'm writing anyways, because I want to.

I am a comma-nazi. I put commas where they don't belong. I use commas more often than I use periods. Its interesting, because that's how I talk and think, but sometimes it's just not the right way to write stuff. I started an English paper last night at 11. It ended up to be a terrible terrible paper, but I liked the intro. Because I like sharing crap, here you go.

Glory, Honor, and Gyroscopic Inertia

It is funny how a person's goals and values can change over time. As we learn more about the world around us, old notions are tossed out. We see the error of our ways, and must make adjustments. Sometimes we all need to take a step back and reevaluate our lives. These are the times in our existence when we must pause, retreat a few paces, and simply wonder why we aren't playing more frisbee.

Yay for 'research papers' on ultimate frisbee. What a joke.

Anyways, the 3rd term doldrums are hitting hard. Life has settled into a slow and predictable cycle. You wake up, go to school, run track, come home, vegitate, eat, do homework, then go to bed. Lather, rinse, and repeat. Over and over again. 3rd term ends in a week, and hope is on the horizon. Maybe 4th term will bring some decent frisbee weather. Maybe it'll bring some good times on the mile. Only time will tell eh?

I put 2 sem vids up and haven't told too many people about them yet, so hey, they're up.

~Talent Show Getup~

~Morningside Teaser~

Feel free to comment, or to just ignore them. Video editing is hard, but it's sorta cool. There's nothing quite as amazing as a really well done video. There is alot of power behind a well done video. It puts together all the dramatic aspects of a picture, and music, and words. It can have the best of 3 worlds, but only when it's well done. Maybe someday I'll make something that'll change people's minds. In the mean time, share your talent, and go to the morningside.

Has anybody noticed how the weather just repeats itself every day? How there's been a constant wind for the past 2 weeks, and how it's impossible to throw a frisbee. I sure have.

So, this whole post has been rather moody. lets see if we can lighten the mood.

I got my learners permit, that's pretty cool. I haven't been driving too much, but the time's I have been have been super fun. Driving is going to be really cool. Being able to drive, and having a car is just a huge benefit. It's amazing the crap you can do when you've got amazing transportation like that.

State Math Competition is tomorrow. I signed up on a whimsical fancy, and it's gonna be pretty fun. Hopefully I'll do alright. Chances are I'm gonna get smashed, and just feel like an idiot, but oh well. It'll be kicks anyways.

So.... Frisbee this friday night. Anybody wants to come, it's gonna be snowy and amazing. 7:00, bennion elementary. All y'alls are welcome to come, even if you don't wanna play. Come support the cause. There is going to be frisbee this whole summer. I don't care if I end up playing frisbee by myself every weekend, I'm gonna do it. Ultimate showdown, Thatcher vs. Thatcher. First to 15. Loser buys dinner for himself.

Notice how every 4th post or so is just a clone? first I talk about how I haven't written for a while, then I talk about what's been going on in the past, then I talk about what's coming up soon, then i talk about frisbee, and then I flounder around for a bit about philosophy. Interesting eh? You'd think after 3 weeks I could be original. nope.

Ah, I'm behind in march madness, and that makes me sad. Therefore, I am going to go read the Book of Mormon. It's amazing, it just makes you feel good when you read it. I should do that more. So, I'm out of here. Sorry this was all moody and junk. Maybe there'll be something cool coming up soon for you guys. I'll work on something for y'alls.

G'night everybody. Tomorrow is a new day, and a new chance to break out of the cycle. The hamster wheel will topple, just as soon as I get my hands on a frisbee. G'night everybody, I'm off to read.