Monday, March 31, 2008


I am no longer looking at studying mechanical engineering. Right now I'm looking at business, specifically marketing.

Can I just say? Wow, this feels so much better. That was one of the things that was getting me so down this week, this whole uncertainty about the future. Mechanical looked like the best shot, but it looked about as fun as getting poked in the face with a sharp stick. I'm really starting to warm up to business.

It seems like a great fit for me. I'm constantly analyzing the business aspect of everything I look at. It allows me to go to work with people, and I'm definitely more interested in people than I am in machinery. Just because I'm good at math and science doesn't mean I have to be relegated to the engineering department.

I feel a ton better about this. I've still got a lot of research to do, but stuff is already looking a ton brighter.

Of course, studying business means that BYU would be the logical place for me to go, not Utah State. I am going to USU this next year, absolutely. After a mission though, if business is in fact the thing for me, I'm going to want to look at transferring to BYU.

I know I've said it before, but I can't reiterate it enough. I feel good about this! I'm excited about it! I was never excited about Mechanical. There were times when I thought it'd be ok, and that was as good as it got. My feelings varied between fearful and passable. That's hardly a way to live.

Hooray! I'm not saying this is my final plan, because I haven't done the research necessary. But from a first look perspective, this is looking freakin' awesome. Score it!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Live Blog: The Tournament

Editor's Note: I do remember last night. I am cognizant what happened. I remember what's important. This is me, and I'm doing my best to be the whole me. End note.

Greetings and Hayabasu, ladies and gentlemen. Happy Junior Jazz Tournament Day!

Game one: 9 AM, Union Middle
Vista (1 - 1) v. The Agitators (1 - 1)
Final Score: 25 - 52, Agitators.
Total Fans (non-familial): 2

I got to the game five minutes late, and walked in with the score 4-0, Agitators, beginning of the game. Kirt snagged three rebounds within 45 seconds, and I was certain he'd grab a triple double by the end of the game.

The first quarter was incredibly sluggish. It ended 4-2, us. Pope wasn't as ferocious or as accurate as usual. I came in for the last part of the first, and didn't pull much off. I got a bucket during the second, but nothing to brag about.

Quarters two and three progressed the exact same. Super slow, sloppy play. Lucky for us, the other guys were doing just as poorly. It looked like churchball, and not even good churchball. We had a good time, and we had our moments, but it was uninspired ball.

The fourth quarter came and we blew it wide open. We were up by six or something, and we just took it away to win by 27. I started detaching on every single play for the fast break, and I got at least three easy, uncontested layups out of it. Everybody else started getting the idea, and all the sudden we were in the middle of a good old clinic. Every single play, we'd push the defense, and if we didn't force a quick turnover, we'd force them into a shot they didn't want to take. One of our big guys would get the board and feed it down court to any of the three guys who were busting it down there. It was just a matter of pass pass pass and sweet layup. I had one sweet reverse, w00t.

Perhaps the crowning moment, for me, was on defense, fourth quarter. I was up on their point guard, he faked me one way, got me off balance, and went the other. He went straight up the key, but I was right behind him. He went up for the shot, and I got the sweetest, cleanest, best feeling block I've got in a long time. There's something extremely satisfying about blocking a man from behind.

Best part about the play? I did it again two minutes later. Different guy, same play. Oh how sweet it is.

Keys to success: We played terrible the first three quarters, but the fourth was amazing. Why was this? Because I put my headband on for the fourth, but not for the others. The headband won the game for us. And I took a charge, that was cool to. But it wasn't a key. It was just cool.

Outlook: We've got another game at noon, and they'll be 2-1, just like us. Alex is sitting in on their game right now, hopefully scoping out the bad guys. We play Team #1. They don't sound nearly as intimidating as The Agitators. They better bring their A game.

Cause boy oh boy, I ate my wheaties this morning. And boy, don't mess, 'cause I ate your wheaties too.

Game Two: 12 AM, Union Middle
Team #1 v The Agitators
36 - 42, Agitators
Total Fans: More than last time

We played a pretty good game, but not our best. We came out strong in the first, went 8-2 for the first little bit. I tossed a sweet alley-oop pass for Jay lay it in, it was smooth. I got one more block from behind a man (woot), and scored a few buckets.

Player of the game was definitely Kirt. This was a pretty big and physical team, and they had us outbodied more or less. Kirt was the man who stopped them inside. He was about their size, but he just outskilled them by far. He was ballin, it was a ton of fun.

Keys to succes: Kirt.

Outlook: Playing Larsen, who just beat the guys we lost to on Thursday night by about 20 points. They only have six guys though, so we ought to be able to run them.

Game Three: Union Middle School
Larsen v. The Agitators
Final Score: 58 - 54, Larsen
Total Fans: the most yet.

We lost this game. We really could have won it, but we played pretty well and they came up with the win. So we go home from the tournament. Boo.

I had a few sweet sweet blocks in this game, and that felt good. I made some nice buckets, and picked up some good fouls. I made a few good plays, so I'm pretty happy with my performance out there.

Keys to success (for the other guys): They had two real players. But boy, they were good players. We had a hard time shutting them down. Other than that though, we really played pretty well.

All in all, super fun tournament. Great team to play with, we had a good time. I'd do it again if I could. Hope you all have a good day.

Shining Night

Sure on this shining night
Of starmade shadows round,
Kindness must watch for me
This side the ground.

The late year lies down the north.
All is healed, all is health.
High summer holds the earth.

Hearts all whole.
Sure on this shining night I weep for wonder wand'ring far

Of shadows on the stars.

-Sure on this Shining Night, James Agee


Life has been different for a long time. All of March, I think. Maybe it's only been a week, maybe it's been longer. At least 10 days. I'm terrible at determining lengths of time. Maybe that means that I'm just great at living in the present. But I don't necessarily feel like that. The important thing to note is that things aren't like they usually are.

It's Friday night, 12:58 AM. My window is open a little bit, but none of that awesome night air is coming in. I walked around outside a bit this evening. Life smells really good right next to a tree in early spring. Trees smell like summer evenings. Summer evenings smell care-free and progressive. I could go for a summer evening right about now.

I feel like I've lost volumes of text over this past month. There have been several days when I've had so much to write about and talk about and spill, but it never really happened. Some of those thoughts remain, but others are gone, presumably forever. Perhaps it's a tragedy, and perhaps it's good fortune. I view it as tragedy. Should every important thought I have be written? Obviously such a thing can't be realistic, but I think the important ones bear some necessity to be recorded. I've lost some important thoughts. Hmm.

I've been loving "Sure on this Shining Night" today. The Lauridsen arrangement, not the Barber. It's just so very close and intimate I feel.

As I drove home from my final adventure of last night, I wanted to hear someone begin narrating from behind me. It felt like the end of an episode of heroes, and I would have killed for some insight from Mohinder. As cryptic as I know it would be, it would have felt good to have it there.

It's like I'm taking big steps here. Some are reactionary, some are very premeditated, and others simply happen because nothing else happened in their place.

I haven't been as happy lately as usual. Not as satisfied or fulfilled, that's for sure. This changes things for me. I have some theories as to why. My personal study time has been reduced, which is pretty bogus. I'm not pulling March Madness off as I should. I'm about four days behind, I think. Most reading this month has been after 2 AM, it feels. I've found a few ways to stay awake so I can keep going, but it's not as healthy or as beneficial as I'd like. My personal journaling has gone way down. At least seven days this past month have been "Good day, super tired. G'night." Probably more than seven. I have not been working out the way I'd like to. By that, I mean that I haven't been working out. I haven't been running this month.

On the upside, my bloodsugar has been much better than the previous month. I also just nailed another 4.0. That means I'm 15 for 15 so far. Only one more term to go.

Now, I don't toss this list up here to complain, as complaining is not in my nature. I put it up here to illustrate the point that I have not been living my life the way I wish I was.

I don't say, "I'm not living my life the way I want to," because I don't want to misrepresent the shadowy and nether regions of me. There are parts of me that want one thing, parts of me that want other things. Out of respect for the parts of me that are discordant, I cannot strictly say that I wish things were a certain way.

That's how life is, for me. It's not one thing. I think we're all sort of like an electron. We can get a good idea of where we might be. We can figure out, to an extent, where we won't be. But when it comes to graphing our position, we're always going to end up with a fuzzy line. It's impossible to determine the velocity or location, because everything we do to try to figure it out ends up altering them.

I think I'm like that. It's a complex character versus a simple character thing. I am not a robot.

There was a model I thought of a few weeks ago, about goals. I realized that I could split every one of my goals into three parts. I could split them into What I've declared that I'm working towards, What I'm actually working towards, and what I wish I was working and moving towards.

For example, let's look at my financial goals. What have I declared that I'm working for? I say, "I'd like to make a really decent living so I can support myself and my family." What am I actually working for? "I'd like to be filthy, filthy rich." And, finally, what do I wish I was working for? "I'd like to be wealthy so that I could support my family and myself, as well as have the resources necessary to make the world a better place. I'd like to help further education and opportunities for those around me. I want to pull a Carnegie."

This isn't what's important right now.

What if I wanted to be the same, all the time? That sounds bad, but I think that's one thing that concerns me a lot. I know that I'm me, all the time. I'm not dissociative. But it goes back to how I define my worth. And how I define who I am. When did I start being me?

Last night at the basketball game I was all over the place. I was loud and enthusiastic and happy for everybody in the entire building. I was euphoric.

And now I'm here. Happier than I have been the whole rest of the day. I feel good, but in a very different way than I felt good last night. At school, I do what I do. At home, I do what I do. I do different things between the two of those. I work on different things, and I feel differently about some things. I value things at school differently than I value things at home.

And I don't want to paint myself as some two-faced monster, because I don't think I am. I don't think that any of this is intentional. I don't think I'm a bad person at school or at home. I don't think that I'm always different. I just know that I'm not always constant.

And I know that I can't always be constant. I am not a simple character. Nobody is.

Blogging is a form of therapy for me. There are other things that fill the need that blogging fills. There are things that work better than blogging. I have one of those things right now. So, friends, good night. Thanks for being there.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Under Construction - Pledges

Last night my big brother hooked me up with a domain, You'll notice that now instead of being at, you're here at theotherdentist.

So that's pretty cool. I'm still not used to typing "theotherdentist" but I'll get there. Because I've got a domain now, my options for this blog are suddenly a whole lot bigger.

Therefore, there's some construction coming all of our ways in the near future. I'm not exactly sure what the end result is going to be, but I'm excited to discover it.

I've wanted to make a few changes for a while now, as was evidenced by the poll and a few other things. This gives me a good opportunity to try all of that out. I've got ideas kicking around, and it's going to be really cool to work on them and try new things. Things will sort of just happen, so be expecting that. Some things will show up one day and be gone the next, that's just the nature of what I plan to do. I'm not putting any schedule on this, since life is a little busy right now, but just be assured that it'll come eventually. I'm adventuring, give me a break.

I do feel the need, though, to make a few pledges while I'm here. As I embark on this next new adventure, I am forced to look back on the smoothness of what has brought me here in the first place. Last Friday marked the third birthday of my blog. It was created in ninth grade as an assignment in Brough's journalism class.

Three years later, it's still kicking around. I feel like I've been a bit spotty in my posting as of late, but the blog never holds that against me. The truth here is that I'm a different person because of the existence of the blog. It has been a great tool of self discovery. I think it's helped me define who I am a bit, and also helped me refine some skills in communication and writing. I like to think it's made the world a little bit of a better place.

I'm incredibly glad that it's been a part of my life. It's been a big deal.

So as I embark on the next step of this journey, I won't forget the things that have brought me here, to where I stand today.

Anyways, I pledge that all my old posts will always remain accessible. I also pledge that regardless of what happens, I will keep writing. I'm not going to make a schedule or anything, but I'll do my best to keep writing. I will keep writing through this next year and a half. Just because I graduate high school, I'm not about to stop. I'm not sure what will happen after the mission, but we'll catch that when it comes. In the meantime, I will write up to the day or week or so before I leave. Snap.

So those are the pledges. No matter what happens, my old posts will remain, and I will keep writing. Sounds like a fun adventure. So here we go, looking for the next step. Hooah, it's go time. Wish me luck.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Log Base Two

Not that this is going to happen that often, because i most definitely don't want to make the blog a repository of my dietary logs. However, since it's day two, I want to post, just to make me feel cooler.

Thursday, March 13, 2008
Total units insulin: 71.5
Avg Bloodsugar: 137

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Kickin' Wednesday

It's late, and I don't have time to write. But I'm going to, briefly.

I'm on several kicks today. My life comes in cycles. One of the things that keeps recurring on a periodic basis is my self-improvement kick. Every once in a while I get really excited about personal finance and personal health.

Been spending a lot of time thinking about both of those today. Personal health, I made myself a bit of an idea.

If I spend 20 minutes a day logging my bloodsugar, my insulin, and every single thing I eat and when, I really think that I'll make that time up in days left to live.

Let's do a little bit of math. I know it won't be at all realistic, but let's do it anyways.

So, 20 minutes a day * 365 days = 7,300 minutes
7,300 minutes / 60 / 24 = 5.07 days per year I spend logging bloodsugar/insulin/food

let's say I live my projected 61 years or whatever

61 years * 5.07 = 309 days of my life I spent logging.

309? If I really do end up living to be 61, I will have definitely recouped all that time I spent logging with more days I've earned to be alive.

So I think I'm going to do it. It's a big step, I know. I worry about setting goals like that. Logging everything? That's tough. But I want to do it.

Because I'm tired of just getting by, especially as it relates to my health. Yeah, I've got to worry about heart disease and obesity and all of that like every other person out there, but I've got double portions of everything coming my way when it comes to not eating right or taking care of yourself. What will hurt a normal person x down the road will hurt me at least 2x. I fully accept and welcome that. It just gives me more reason to actually make this work.

I want to take my life to the next step. Trouble is, there's about a billion next steps that I want to take. It's hard to sit down and find one step that I'm ready for. I want to move in a lot of directions.

But I think that this is a good one. I'm going to do it. For the next two weeks, I'm logging everything. Every glucose test, every shot, and every morsel of food that gets in me. I'm doing it, no battle.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Total units insulin: 62
Avg Blood sugar: 146

Wednesday, March 12, 2008


This Friday marks three years of The Other Dentist. It hasn't always been called that, you know, but it marks the official three year anniversary since the first real post.

How cool is that? I'll try to think of something epic to do. No guarantees though.

It's 12:04, and I'm fairly ready for tomorrow. In other words, I just finished my calc assignment. w00t. I always feel good about myself when I finish a calc assignment.

Today was very important. Madrigals was tender. Usually when I throw "tender" out there it means that I'm joking, but I'm totally not this time. It was a tender class period. It changed us all a little bit, I think.

I want to write more about it later, but I don't want to run the risk of losing it, so I'll write a bit.

I've been looking at mads for these past seven weeks as either giving or taking away some of my life force. I'd go in with my bucket, with the water level dependent on how the earlier part of the day went, and invariably I'd walk out of mads with either significantly more water or significantly less water. There were very few days that didn't change the water level. Mads either filled me with energy, optimism, and hope, or it sucked all the enthusiasm out of me and made me a cranky old man in English.

Today was different though. I think that because it was so tender, it changed me a little bit. I walked out of mads today with a lot of water in my bucket, yeah, but that wasn't what was important. What was important was that I walked out of mads with a bigger bucket than before. I think that we grew a little bit today, as people. I know I did.

I don't get sentimentally attached to associates in my life too much. I love my friends, yeah, but I'm not one of those "close" kind of people. I always work a ton with mentors in my life. Sharpe, Hansen, Coleman, etc. etc. When the time comes for me to move on from those people though, it's never a really big sentimental break. We both respect each other a lot, and we both know that we're a little better for having worked together so much, but we just move on. It's a pretty good system.

Ms. Webb is departing from hence at the end of the week. She's been with us for seven weeks now. For the first time in quite a while, I'm going to miss a mentor.

And it's not that me and Ms. Webb were close by any means. We shared our moments, of course, but that's just because of how incredible she is. It's just that she had an effect on me, and on everybody around me. She changed us, raised us all up a little bit.

School is going to be different without her around. I've gotten very used to the way things are, and it'll be a big change going to something different.

But it's not so much the choir as it is the absence of that figure. She had a way of radiating truth about what's going on. She always told us to come to the party. Why should we be excellent, why should we try so hard? Why do the things we do? She knew. It was that truth that she carried and always shared with us that changed us. Anyone could have instructed us using the exact same methods as she had and it wouldn't have made the difference that she made. She carried truth about life, and she gave that to us. It wasn't so much about singing as it was about being the people that we should be.

She's had an effect. I'm going to miss that effect a lot. Looking ahead to next year, I wonder what the baby mads will ever do without her. It's just a bit inconceivable to me, thinking of senior year without Ms. Webb.

I know I sound like a bit of a doofus. It's not often that I go about on all this sentimentality stuff. But here I am. As a mentor, she made a difference. I'm a different person because of the seven weeks we spent together. She talked about this the first day she was with us. i didn't know what to expect, but it's my custom to give everybody the best shot at working with me as I can. So I gave it a shot. There were days when I didn't come to the party. Days when I wanted to stop the party, really. But at the end of seven weeks, I'm a better person because of what we've done together. Music is just the very smallest part of all of this.

What a neat lady.

Monday, March 10, 2008


Calculus: It's cheaper than having a girlfriend.

Friday, March 07, 2008

One more day till revolution

There's really more than one day till revolution, but it's a good line from a good song and all that.

I've been meaning to write this week, but I've never gotten to it. Friday's a no go, we'll see what Saturday brings.

But there is definitely some good stuff coming. I had Sterling Scholar interviews this wednesday, and that experience led to some pretty fresh thinking I think. There's a lot of stuff I want to explore there, and the best way that I can think of to explore is to write about it. There's a lot I want to learn about how I feel about that stuff right now, so I'm hoping to get that taken care of soon. I've got a few ideas kicking around that I'd like to toss out as well, so they'll be fun I hope.

So, really, this post exists because those other posts don't exist yet. It's a reminder to me and to you that I'm still alive and that I do want to write but don't feel like right now is the time to do it. I'll shoot for Saturday, definitely.

Welp, I hope you're all doing well. Good luck with your adventures. March Madness for-the-win.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008


Hey, Happy Monday evening. It's been a pretty good day. School went really well. I sluffed first period to catch up on sleep, and that was just awesome. It was an off-day in calc, so it wasn't a huge deal. I did my assignment tonight, and I feel really good about all of it but one problem. It felt good to sleep in. It felt even better to head to school when it was bright and happy outside. Most of the frost on the vehicle had been taken care of by the sun, it was pretty sweet.

Daylight savings is gonna change that, but I'm alright with it. It gives us more time in the evening, so that's cool.

Spring is coming, and that just makes me happy. During the winter I forget how good life can really feel outside. The beauty of that first amazing run on that first amazing mild night, that's awesome. I'm really looking forward to summer evening runs again. I didn't go on too many last summer, but the ones I did hit were really cool. Me, Kyle, Levi, and James would all get together and go hit the parkway. We took it fairly easy, just jogging around, enjoying being together and breathing in what the evening had to offer. Ah, makes me nostalgic. I can't wait for summer evening runs with good people.

Tonight feels very open. Not open in an "I'm emotionally open" kind of way, but open as a "the future is ripe for the taking" kind of open. I feel good about life right now. School is more or less under control. I finished Tess, and I feel like I nailed the test. It didn't kill me. I've got no incredibly pressing projects on my plate right now. I feel like I'm on top of calculus. There are a few assignments missing, but I think I can probably just let them slide for now, as long as I keep up with the rest. I know the material, so that's good. I'm a lot of responses behind in English, as well as the Romeo and Juliet write-up, but I think I can make it happen. There are a few scholarship applications I'd like to get in that have deadlines in the next week or two. A few essays to write, but nothing incredible. I'm excited to do it.

Our choir concert is the 10th. I'm very excited for it. It'll be fun to perform, surely, but I'm really excited to find out what happens in choir once the concert is over with. What are we going to do? It's a complete mystery to me. It'll be a grand adventure I suppose.

I've been meaning to write more. I haven't gotten to it, obviously. Writing does a lot of good for me. I really think it makes me grow as a person. It's interesting to note that I don't default to writing, though. If I don't make an effort to write, it doesn't happen. The same goes for running, and studying, and all sorts of other good things that make me better. If I don't put forth the energy to start it, it doesn't happen.

I haven't been running, really at all. In the past several months I've logged an official five miles or so. I've obviously run more with Ultimate and Basketball, but it's not the same. Since blogaday, I've been very patchy with my writing. I haven't been keeping incredible logs of my bloogsugar, like I could be.

Now, I don't think I've been a slacker these past few months. I don't say that I'm unsatisfied with what I've been doing with my life. It's just interesting to point out that these things don't happen unless I make them happen. I haven't been making them happen, for various reasons.

And I'd like to start making them happen more. Writing, to me, is sort of like the fruit in your cereal effect I wrote about a long time ago. Fruit in cereal, to me, is the essence of affluence. If you have the time and resources to put external fruit into your cereal, you are clearly a well-to-do and happy individual. Life is good if there is fruit in your cereal. Not necessarily because fruit in your cereal makes life any better, but because fruit in your cereal is a symptom of a great life. Make sense?

Writing is sorta like that. I mean, I really do believe that writing does make my life better, but I feel like I write more when my life is better. When I'm doing well, posts fly. When I'm stressed or busy or not feeling well, I don't get as many out there. Writing is like the cherry on top. I guess, to me, it's sort of like thinking, "This is the next step. I've already conquered steps one through six today, and this is just the bonus round. I can take steps to make the world a better place, instead of playing on the defensive."

I talked about playing on the defensive versus the offensive a while ago. I made a plan to be much more vocal about everything. I was planning to use the written word to change things. I think it probably developed during blogaday. I haven't gone on any crusades, but I did take care of a few things. I wrote the letters to my counselor to help me graduate, and those were very successful. I am now officially on track to graduate, how cool is that? I wrote the essays I needed to for the Sterling Scholar business and that Micron app. I never did apply for Micron. After all that work I decided not to, but I feel good about it. I learned more about me through that Micron app.

Back to the defensive ideas. I feel like writing is the next step. I can spend my life being a zombie, simply catching the tasks that are thrown at me, and throwing them back, done fairly well. That's fine and dandy, and it's been working great. But at some point I'd like to be able to stand up and say "Hey, I'm doing this." instead of being told to do it. Nobody has told me I needed to blog for a grade since ninth grade. I do this because I want to, and because I love the effects that it has. Stuff like that is way cool.

Projects for the sake of projects make me very happy. Excellence, I think, is only truly excellence when it exists only for excellence' sake. In the past I've been very any anything for anything's sake. Most things need a reason. But I think excellence is one of those things that really needs no defense. It's sorta like blogaday. Blogaday was pure because it existed for itself, not necessarily for anyone else. Excellence is like that. I wrote about ceilings during blogaday, and how I admire them so. I'm still a big ceiling fan. (Ha!)

It grows late. Well, really, it grew late a long time ago. It's still late. I do suppose it's a good time for me to go read some BOM and then head to bed. I hope you're all doing well. If things work out, I ought to be writing some more this week. No guarantees, but we'll see what I can do. I'd like to write. Right on friends, have a good one.