Wednesday, December 27, 2006

But the Soul Still Burns

Periodic me, December 26th, 2006

Me, post wake up.

Me, pre gym

Me, post gym

Me, post hygiene

Me, post hair-gel and glasses

Me, post dinner

Me, pre writing

Me, post writing

Howdy gangsters, it has been forever. Way too long since I've sat down and talked. Tonight we remedy this.

I really wish I could find my headphones. It's been hard to get into a groove where I can just sit down and write lately. Music always seems to help this out, but since it's late at night I'd need to use headphones. Alas, I can't find the headphones, so I'm music-less.

I shan't let this stand in my way however. It is time to write, and write I shall.

Aha! I found a pseudo-pair of headphones. Victory is mine.

Last night me and my brothers stayed up till 4 AM playing counterstrike. Wow, that was good times. We got three computers hooked up in my room, we were at it for quite a while. We all went terrorist, and we played 6 hard bots. It was way intense, we were getting tactical and everything. One map Nathan ended up going something like 63:5 on his kill:death ratio. Wow, good crap. So much fun.

Christmas was really swell for me and my family. It's been so nice to be together. I hope that all of yours have been great as well.

The new year is coming up. Things are going to be changing for me. I'm really close to a huge schedule switch-up. Wessman has been putting the heat on me to join the newspaper. It's something that I'd like to do. I love to write, getting better at it is something that I'd love to do.

However, the newspaper class is 2a, and that's junior choir. I'm not going to switch out of that, but Wessman said I could hop into 3a, which is the litmag class. He said he'd teach me all that intro to journalism stuff, have me do as much as I could from there, and then come in full time next year.

Sounds like kicks and giggles, especially considering who else is in the litmag class. It'd be a party.

But, on the other hand, arranging that with the schedule will result in a big shake-up. The current schedule (Figure A) will end up looking something like this (Figure B).

Figure A: Figure B:

Seminary Seminary
Junior Choir Junior Choir
History Litmag
Athletics English AP (Parrish)
~ ~
Chem AP Chem AP
Precalc History AP
English AP (Harward) Precalc
Physics AP Physics AP

See, if this was the first week of school, I'd jump all over this. By all means, figure B looks attractive. From a friend standpoint, I'd lose Kyle and Nick in math, Kyle and Shelton in History, and Jason in English. Inversely, I would gain Nick in history, and Kyle and Nick and everyone else in English.

I don't know. It sorta feels like figure B is just a big betrayal of my English class. I'll be the first to admit that it's not the best, but it has grown on me. We're all in it together in there. I'd feel like the baseball player that suddenly got called up from the minor leagues to play with the big kids. How do you face your team after that? All the sudden I stand up and hop the fence towards greener pastures? What about Jason, and Katie, and Peter, and Austin? What about Harward, and Kevin, and Wiley? Can I just get up and leave them without a pitcher halfway through the game?

It's a tough call. I want your guys' help on this. Let me know what you think I ought to do.

So, this whole blogging business. It's something that I love to do, it's something that I think is useful. It's a great tool for me, and I'm looking to expand my base.

Of course, one could argue that I should get my initial base established before I attempt to branch out into new territory. It's a valid point, one that I'm still mulling over in my head. The new year is going to bring some new ideas to the blog-pool. We'll all see it when it gets here, eh?

Junior Jazz is coming up. It's funny how much of a priority it has become. I'm not wary of saying that I'm much more dedicated to my Jr Jazz training than I am to my indoor track training. Indoor track has been hard for me lately, I'm in another one of those troughs.

I'm sure you've noticed the trend before; it's hard to miss. I'm constantly going through cycles. The most evident of these cycles is my run-forever debate. I vary between two extremes. One week I'll be so dedicated to running and dropping my times that I'll work like an animal and take it to the next level. The next week I'll be unable to remember why I run, and consider hopping out and peddling my destiny elsewhere.

Hmm... peddling my destiny. I really like that phrase.

But, the moral of the story, is that for a while now I've been on the low end of the excitement spectrum. I'm tired of this running business. I know that it'll come back to me. It's just really hard to do a good workout when I'm a lot more interested in lifting and practicing my basketball than in building my distance.

Alas, tis my fate. What would life be like if I didn't run? It scares me; I don't know. I know that I've got to keep working out. It's very important for me to get good exercise; it's really beneficial to my kidneys in 20 years.

(Harward was right... I use comma splices like none other)

But, what if I can get my workout without being on the team? What if I could run when I wanted to, and not work on my speed or hills? What if I could build some muscle mass? What if I could drive myself hard enough to do ten-minute-abs by myself every night, and 40 push ups before bed? What if I could prevent heart failure without a coach? What would life be like?

Will I ever find out? I don't know.

I'm listening to U2 right now. Good band.

These pseudo-earphones are totally hurting my ears. Maybe it's cause I had them in backwards. Hmm.

Awww, I just got to talk to my sister for a long time about stuff. That was nice, she's the best.

I want to have some new ideas to run around with. Ideas like the power gym. Not exactly practical, but a cool idea nonetheless. Ideas like that can occupy me for a very long time you see.
There's quite a few phases that an idea goes through, check it out.

Phase One: Conception
This is the phase where the initial epiphany strikes my brain. I start to think and talk really fast, and I can't stop smiling. Every few seconds I'll stop moving, gasp, and verbalize a statement along the lines of "Oh sick!" when I realize the implications and possibilities involved. I'm building the idea as I go, I have no idea where it will lead. It's a race to the end. Way fast, way excited.

Phase Two: Retread
After I've run and found the treasure at the end of the tunnel, I have to walk back and review. This phase is a more cautious peek at the images and concepts that blazed past my neurons a few moments ago. It is slower and more downbeat. It's generally more depressing; it is here that I discover flaws in my plan for the first time. This phase is where I have to stop and ask "Is this really possible?" It's a total shakedown of the idea, trying to find the holes.

Phase Three: Duct Tape
Phase three is a lot like the force. You can kill bad guys with it. After I find the holes during phase two, I've got to solve them in phase three. I'm too excited to give up on the idea; I won't let diminutive holes in my logic get in the way. I attack these problems with a surge of headstrong and entirely uncautious barrage of solutions. It is very common that these solutions are more creative and clever than my initial idea. The solutions have problems and holes of their own. Phase Three is Phase One times a million.

Phase Four: Backburner
After I've run through the idea a few times and found it relatively sound, it loses its luster. It's a challenge to prove to myself that the idea is viable, but after that's taken care of I'm content to go back to normal life. As I brush my teeth, the idea is kicking around somewhere in the back of my mind. It's taking up minimal processing power. It exists, but not in the forefront.

Phase Five: Alternative
A few days later the ghosts in the system will manifest themselves and spark a mutation in the meme. Another Oh-sick will be vocalized, and I'll realize that this idea can apply to too! Not just minivans like I thought first, but elevators! This opens up a whole new rush. I've got the idea all stapled out, now I'm just filling in the template. Replace minivan with elevator and repeat the entire run through process. It's a side not really. The same idea just realized it can apply to something else, it's terribly exciting.

Phase Six: Appointment for 3 PM wednesday?
The good ideas come here. I will come one evening and post to my heart's content. I throw the whole idea down from start to finish. As I write, new ideas come in and I write them as well. It takes me at least an hour, but in the end I've got an intense feeling of satisfaction and pride. I cemented the idea, it is finished.

Phase Seven: Review
Months later I'll re-read what I wrote. I'm always surprised at how dramatic I managed to make it sound. I read and am taken aback by my claims that the world is going to end if we don't commercialize road signs, or pedal our way to freedom from foreign oil. I like what I read, and I explore the whole idea just one more time. It's a good feeling.

So yeah, that's the way an idea works. It's a long process, but I love it. Some ideas don't make it through the whole journey. In fact, most don't.

It is, however, my goal, to get more ideas through the mill. I want to post more ideas. They make for a fun post, and my ideas are always enriched by the thought process it takes to write them. Expect more.

So, I've got some stuff to work on. I'm going to get to brainstorming. I'm going to take a big review of the stuff that I've written in the past. I'm undertaking a project to rewrite the good stuff.

I'm so proud of this blog. I love it, it's got a hefty pile of me in it. But really, it's just one giant rough draft. I like some of the ideas that I've written down in here a lot. In the coming weeks I'm going to go through and reanalyze and rewrite the good ones. I'll put some polish on them, it'll be good.

Yeah, It's bed time. I hope that you all have a good night. Life keeps trucking along. Keep learning and getting better.

I'll see you all at the region dance this Saturday. Don't forget it, it's going to be intense.

G'night all. Have a good one.

Friday, December 22, 2006

My Facts

Fact Number One: Content is more important than style.

My computer is running just peachy, things are dandy again. I've got a lot of tweaking to do yet, but that's a good thing.

However, I plan on writing some water tomorrow. The plotline that I plan on following is not fully cemented in my head right now. I'm not entirely sure what is going to happen. I know how it'll end.
For me, it's about the ideas behind it. Great language and delivery is great, but I'm a man of substance. I see paragraphs and paragraphs that are nothing but description. They're great, I like them.

However, they don't accomplish anything. I think that's one of the big problems I've been having with English this year.

We've been worried about saying it well.

When all along we haven't been saying it at all.

It is much more important than the manner in which it is delivered.

Thursday, December 21, 2006


It's 8:32 PM, Thursday. I'm sitting at my computer, using Ubuntu instead of windows. It's great fun, really cool.

Unfortunately it's being very unstable, bugging me a lot. We all know what that means.

It's format time, version 2.oh yeah

So, hopefully back for more once 10:30 rolls around. If not I hope you all have a great night.

Good things are coming, for reals.

I'm going to work on a nice Christmas post, and perhaps some water with any luck. Booyah.

In other news, go check out what my friends write, they're pretty good.

Saturday, December 16, 2006


It's format time.

Stallion is due to have all of his hard drives wiped out this evening. With any luck I'll be functional by Monday. However, in the event of something terrible happening, I might be gone till wednesday-ish.

So, in the meantime, make the most of your lives.

Cause c'mon, what else are you going to do with them?

Strike Alas

I am this [_] close to going outside and building a midnight snow man.

Instead I'm going to go to bed. It's high five Friday everybody. It's been a good day, but now it's late. I wish that I could write, but the time for that comes later.

Honestly, I need to fix my rhythm. I'm at the peak of my game at 11 oclock PM.

It's a great time to be alive, don't get me wrong. My brain starts cruising; I'm motivated to work on a hundred different projects at once. I'm always smiling, simply by the virtue that I'm thinking so much.

But alas, I always cap myself. I get cruising, and then I think "It's 11 oclock, it's way too late to start anything."

Alas, I must break the cycle.

Step one: Overclock my TI-86

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Significant Other

It's times like this that I wish I had a girlfriend.

A girlfriend that would do my homework for me.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Like a good neighbor; State Farm is there.

That google ad appeared on the top of my blog about a month ago. I found it hilarious, so I saved it. Look out, a bird!

Ok, announcement: This week is going to be intense.

Why? Because I'm going to be wearing a cool shirt on monday, and an even COOLER shirt on Friday. I rarely get this excited about what I'm going to wear. This might even be as cool as the time we wore capes to school.

Announcement 2: So, remember how I said we were gonna do ACT prep a while ago? Yup, I still mean it. Therefore, this Friday, 5:30, my house. If you need the address leave me a comment and I'll get it to you. It's going to be good. Because c'mon, everybody wants to do good on the ACT. If we work together, we'll all do better. It'll be a fun adventure.

There are going to be a lot of great posts this week.
Coming up --->
  • My big art deal
  • Five choices I made that put me where I am today
  • The Five places I love the most
  • The Five things I'd do if I were a delinquent
  • Flow Theory
I expect more. I just didn't want to say too much in case something goes terribly wrong.

Announcement the Third: I can drive other people on Friday. You know what that means? It's adventure time.

Announcement the Fourth: This blog just got upgraded to beta. I'm going to pimp it out soon-like.

Announcement the Fifth: The Taylorsville Alliance is back from its Hiatus! It's party time! This time is a lot more relaxed, I'm going to have fun with it. I'm going to approach it as less of a project and more of an adventure.

Announcement the Sixth: I might just make a snow man for Athletics tomorrow, I'm pretty excited about that.

Announcement the Seventh: I'm starting my eagle project this week. Rejoice! I'm going to need your help though. Wednesday me and the scouts are going to do all the manufacturing of the whisper phones. They're still going to need to be painted, so that's where you, my friends, come in. Some time next week I'm going to have a painting party. There's gonna be some painting, then some fun stuff going on. You should all come.

Announcement the Eighth: It's snowing, and I hope you're all having a great day. In the event that you are not having a good day, I offer you this piece of advice.

Think about the last time you got attacked by a bird. Can't remember it? Dang, life is pretty good, you're free of bird attacks. Thank your lucky stars for Orkin pest control.

Happy News

Life has its ups and downs. It is vitally important that this trend continue.

I don't wish to dispel the bad times, I recognize their worth.

However, it's much more fun to focus on the good times. Thereforeheretofore, here's the good news. The business that's coming up that's just going to make me happy. I think that it's necessary to always have something to look forward to. It's a good idea to keep a healthy mix of both short and long term events to be excited about. Here we go

#1 - Region Dance - Dec. 30
I love region dances. I cannot understand why someone would not love a region dance. It's the greatest night of the month, and it's coming up in three weeks. I have often compared a region dance to life, maybe this is just a reflection of my love of existence. In any event, I think about it every day, and I'm excited for it every day. It's going to be good.

#2 - Drive with other people - Dec. 15
That whole six month rule thing kills me. It's been difficult, I've been doing my best to follow the rules. I have made a few exceptions, but I've kept that to a minimum. In less than a week I get to make the world a much more convenient place. It's finally going to be practical to go on dates. Can you just imagine me pulling up to your driveway in my pimpin' minivan? Dang straight, I bet you're as excited about this as I am now.

#3 - Family home for Christmas - soon.
Bizz is totally coming for a visit this week, and she's staying for quite a while. Not too many of you really know Bizz, but she's pretty wicked awesome. That's going to be fun. Add that to the fact that Nathan and Kim and Michael are going to be done with the semester in logan in a week, it's going to be party time. I love having the family home, it's not too often that we're all together. Christmas is going to be great, mostly because my family will be here. It's going to be a party, I love it.

#4 - Junior Jazz Domination - January-ish
You cannot understand the deep joy that I felt when, to my surprise, I saw that Trevor had left me a message saying something like "Hey, me and bentley want to start a junior jazz team, do you want to play?" Of course I want to play! I was born to play. This might be the one I'm most excited for, it's just going to be so good. I love playing basketball, I really do. It'll be fun to work with Trevor and the boys, because I know they're going to make me so much better. I'm going to listen to all the good stuff they tell me, I'm going to get good. I'm going to be big. By the end of the season you'll swear I'm a 6 foot 7 inch tall black guy named Jerome.

#5 - Summer Ultimate - Summer
Summer Ultimate makes winter ultimate look like crap on a stick. Every Friday night, 7 pm to who-knows-how-late. There's never any wind, it's always nice and warm. You're at the top of your game, they're at their's too. You absorb the game. There's nothing to distract you, it's the game at its simplest and finest. Mmmm, Summer Ultimate is going to be good.

#6 - Working VERY hard this summer - Summer
My financial situation is looking rather desperate right now. My plan is to work like unto a raging stallion this summer. I did that twice, saved some money from the first summer, all the money from the second summer. It served me well, I'm still living off of 15 year old me's sweat. I didn't work last summer, my bank account is drawing near to the "I don't have any money in me" level. So, I'm going to get a job and work hard. I love to work, it'll be great.

#7 - Living with Andrew up at Utah State - After Graduation
The times are going to line up sweet for me and my big brother. He's on a mission in Costa Rica right now, but he will be getting back the summer after I graduate. I'm going to be going to a year of college before I leave on a mission, and he's still got three years of college ahead of him. You know what that means. We're going to be room mates, it's going to be intense. The kid is just a genuine studmuffin, that's all there is to it. There's a good chance that Brad Withers will be up there with us too. Can you say "Ultimate-every-single-day-ever"?

#8 - The Real World - Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
I love to swim. You know what I love even more? Having the choice between sinking and swimming. The real world, that's where we are, and that's where we're headed. What am I going to grow up to be? What's going to happen to all my friends? Who's going to take care of Kyle when I'm off and away? I don't know; I'm excited to find out.

#9 - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie - 3-23-07
Check out the new trailer!

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Important Dates

Tomorrow I am going to write like a raging animal.

For today, an important reminder.

On Saturday, December 30th, 2006 there will be a region dance at the Taylorsville Stake center.

I think you should all be there, because I'm going to be. That is all.

Friday, December 08, 2006


1:17 AM - MJ Returns

Do any of you remember my world history papers from last year? They all took an hilarious route to get their point across. Sarcasm was abundant, so was royal incest. Jokes about Otto's stupid name appeared more often than once. I called Alexander the Great the grandfather of extreme skiing, honestly.

One wonders why my papers always showed up on the due-date dripping with the aforementioned sarcasm. I have a simple explanation; it was the only way to survive.

You had to be able to laugh at history in order to stay sane. You had to laugh at yourself, spending three hours working on this assignment. It was the only way, your only chance at getting out of there alive.

I haven't had to revert to this strategy for some time now, I've been lucky. Most of my assignments this year have been doable and even a little enjoyable. My thoughts come out free of satire and verbal irony, my teachers are overjoyed.

It's 1 AM, and this English essay is testing the limits. The brittle glass with the little post-it note that says "break glass in case of emergency" is about to be smacked with a golf club. I'm about this [_] close to reverting to the sarcasm. Ahhh! It's going to be a long, long night.

"Even though these characters may seem boring, independent research by Chuck Norris indicates that most enjoy a 50 percent success rate with teaching students."

1:33 - went to get a drink

1:35 - I've got a shin-splint going on in my right leg. Hmmm, maybe I shouldn't have stood on just one leg for kicks and giggles today. Oww oww oww.

1:36 - I had a 17 dollar meal tonight. You know what's the worst part about it? It wasn't 4.25 times better than my favorite 4 dollar meal from La Frontera. Hmm.

1:40 - whoohoo, 2 and a half paragraphs done. 4 left. Alpine Skiing!

1:41 - bathroom break.

1:53 - maybe I should stop looking at halo 3 screen shots and get back to writing this essay....

1:54 - what if I sluff chemistry tomorrow morning and finish it then? tempting, truly tempting.

1:58 - scatter plots with red markers on the back of your first draft are awfully fun to make. Distracting too.

1:59 - Garbage Can stood up on the really tall hill. He looked around. His hairy frame was quite alone on the peak, so he began to cry. Ma-ah, Ma-ah, what a poor fellow am I.

2:06 - If a girl leaves Chicago at 3 AM heading for Salt Lake City traveling at 190 mph, how long until Austin writes a song for her? That Austin, what a stud.

2:07 - play with markers.

2:09 - You are what you think. Then how come all those people that run around all day singing the "I like chicken I like liver meow mix meow mix please deliver" song aren't cat food yet?

2:12 - Ulterior

2:17 - There's a fandango loose in the building.

2:!8 - I'm going to brush mine teeth.

2:21 - mmm, toothpaste.

2:21 again - Ok, it's seriously time to get my head in the game. /squeaks shoes on hardwood floor.

2:22 - squeak squeak dribble dribble squeak swish dribble dribble dribble squeak swish swish squeak dribble squeak squeak dribble......swish.

2:28 - good news, only three paragraph's left. I am the model of a very modern general. Or something like that.

2:34 - (8) we know that it's probably maaaaaaaaaagiiiiiiiiiiiic. (8) (Rainbow Connection - Kermit the Frog)

2:40 - why are there so many songs about rainbows, and what's on the other side? Rainbows are visions, but only illusions, and rainbows have nothing to hide. So we've been told and some choose to believe it, I know they're wrong, wait and see. Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers, and me.

who said that every wish, would be heard and answered, when wished up the morning star? Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it. Look what it's done so far. What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing, what do we think we might see? Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers, and me.

All of us under its spell, we know that it's probably maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagiiiiiiic.

Have you been half asleep, and have you heard voices? I've heard them calling my name. Is this the sweet sound, that calls the young sailors? the voice might be one and the same.

I've heard it too many times to ignore it, it's something that I'm s'posed to be.

someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers, and me.

La da da deee da da dooo, la da da da da de da doooooooooooooo.

2:53 - To be 100 percent honest, I am building my essay around that song. It's gonna be good, I'm really excited.

2:59 AM - One minute to three. I'm surprisingly awake. And surprisingly not done with my essay. P'oh.

3:01 AM - who am I kidding? I need dragon zord power.

3:10 AM - Just redid the first two paragraphs to incorporate the rainbow connection. I think this is actually going to work, rahahaha.

3:32 AM - wow, I've been crusing. Look at me go.

3:43 AM - yeah, that's right, I'm working on my works cited page. w00t.

4:01 - I'm done. Printing it, going to bed. Have a nice night all.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Dronin' through the past

I have a limited amount of time here. I feel the need to throw parts of myself out there.

First off, I'm turning the computer off before twelve every night this week. I think that's going to be the new running rules. I want to fix my sleeping habits. This is the first step.

I want to make this blog great. I always have. I'm working on it. The year is drawing to a close, and I think that I'm going to spend some time working on the past. Remembering stuff, talking about stuff. It'll be good.

Junior high and high school are not the same thing. They are very different. They've got their ups and downs. This week I like Junior High more, this week I don't want to run.

There's a good chance that next week will be the opposite.

But that's alright with me, that's just how I roll. Stuff is pretty good. I'm still not as good at that blood sugar thing as I'd like to be, and I haven't pulled off anything really amazing lately.

I've decided that I want to go to a parkour jam before I graduate. I'm not even sure if that's what they're called. There's something about running around where I'm not supposed to be able to that really appeals to me. I'll have to look in to that.

Let's face it, I want it to be summer for a week. I want a Friday night with warm temperatures and good friends and a calm atmosphere. I want to play an amazing game of ultimate again, it's been a while. I don't even want to try in this weather, it's cold and hard and hurty.

Summer is the golden age. If I want to run I just go run. if I want to play Ultimate I play Ultimate. No need to organize, I can run if I want to.

Hmmmm, this whole winter bit is going to need some work. But hey, things are going to be good. Good posts are coming up this next week. The Alliance will fly. It might not fly soon, but it'll fly. It's not out for the count yet. One day friends, one day.

One day my bloodsugar will be super. One day I'll be happy to not be a drone. One day it'll be warm and there'll be no wind and I'll be able to throw from endzone to endzone. One day my economic future will be secure.

Yep, one day I'm just gonna fall over stuff is going to be so good.

In the meantime I'll enjoy life as it is, it's not too shabby.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Proud to be Emo

An unsettling element has manifested itself in our immediate society, and I wish to eliminate right here and now.

I'm afraid that over the last few years emotions have become a bad thing. Through our constant negative references to emo kids we have made discussing our inner emotions something that is not acceptable.

Think about it. Emo kids are people too, just like the French are people. In my reality though, both have become nothing but negative memes. My vocabulary has adapted to have "French" represent cowardice and 'I surrender!'. Do I really think that the French are pansies? No, not at all. They're people too, I recognize that. Right now it's just the easiest way for me to make a joke about running away. Everybody recognizes the representation. It's popular, people get it, and it's an easy way to represent something in a humorous fashion.

I fear that this is what has happened to Emo Kids. When I say "Man, I feel like such an emo kid..." I mean something along the lines of "I'm feeling depressed and have a lot of emotions going on right now that I want to talk about but that I'm afraid to because they won't be accepted, this sucks." It's much easier to say "I feel like an emo kid" than it is to repeat the aforementioned sentence.

Emo kids have taken on a very negative connotation. Nobody wants to dye their hair black and wear fun clothes. Nobody wants to go through the whole day not smiling. Nobody wants to be like that.

I don't think all emo kids are like that. Not the way that we use it at least. And even if they are, so what? They're people too.

There's an easy way to say this. As a direct result of "emo kid" representing a sad individual who nobody likes and our constant use of "I feel like an emo kid" whenever we have emotions, we've come to see having emotions as socially unacceptable and weak.

I really do believe it.

I'm the guiltiest one. You can always hear me saying "don't be such an emo kid" whenever someone does get the courage to share a few feelings. I don't share feelings like I ought to. I've been stuck in the trap.

I broke loose twice. Only twice in the past forever. Both times I've been driving Brad home. He lives far enough away that there's time to talk. I don't have anything to fear from telling him stuff. There's always a mood of mutual respect when we get to talking. We don't have to make jokes, and we can both be serious and appreciate the things we're talking about.

It always feels good, to be free and talk about stuff. It doesn't happen often enough.

I'm tired of this culture of emophobia. We're better than that. We are mature enough to respect and appreciate another's emotions. Nick is a real person too, and I'm big enough to realize that the emotions he's feeling are vitally important to him.

Hiding and bottling is getting old. It's not good for you. It's a deception of yourself and of others, we're too good for it.

Don't be afraid of emotions. We started it unintentionally and now it threatens our well-being. Emo kids are people too. Tonight, I'm proud to be the emo.

And so friends, I'm pleased to take a stand. My 183 centimeter tall frame is standing up for emotion. I'm standing up for the ability and privilege of not being ashamed to admit that you feel like you've never accomplished anything great. I'm standing up for the guy that wonders if deep down, maybe it is just him. I'm standing up for the one who worries about knowing what to say. I stand up for those bad days and those contemplative nights. I stand up for a realization of our equality and weaknesses. I stand up for not being able to make it alone. I stand up for strength in unity and power in love. I stand up for you and for me. Together, we will make it through.

Here I stand.


There's a very important post above this. Please read it.

Whether you read this post or not, I don't mind too much. But read the one above this, it is important.

It's been a long time since I've just posted. I'm always 'writing' these days. I really do enjoy this new surge of writing. I like the way I go through and reread what I've written to make it better. I never used to do that. I wonder if I'll do that with this post.

I have really enjoyed writing 'water'. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, well, that's alright, I'll tell you. 'Water' is the name I've given my most recent attempt at writing fiction. So far I've written three impacts. They're all on this blog somewhere further down, or you can check them out at my new repository at

To be clear, I'm just writing this water business for fun. It's an idea that's been in my head for a long time. It's not an assignment, and I don't really expect anything out of it. I've enjoyed writing it, that's for sure. I intend to keep writing. I have plenty of material to run with.

I don't know how I feel about the actual stuff. I really enjoy writing it, and I love the feeling of knowing that I put something up. I don't think that it's amazing writing, I'm sure it's not. If you enjoy it, great. If not, well, that's great too. I've just enjoyed writing it and will continue to write it.

So, let me know what you think. We'll see where it goes. I do like this whole fiction business. Writing is a great adventure. You should try it some time.