Wednesday, January 25, 2006

unmature

There has been some seriously good stuff flowing in to the local water supplies during the past couple days. Perhaps it's because I've been running on very restricted amounts of sleep, maybe it's because the foot clan is out to get me, or maybe it's some sort of government plot, but it's good stuff. The peak was on monday, it was pretty ridiculously good water. Since then, things have been good as well.

In other news, I've always known that I've been a little lame. You've all heard me admit it before, but it's not really something I make a point about flaunting. Nobody likes being lame right? Well, today, I wish to flaunt that point as much as is humanly possible. I will be drawing upon experiences from the week to prove my point. This is the real way to debate. You find a topic that nobody can fight against you on, and then have fun feeling cool because you can't lose. Does the pirate flag have a skull and crossbones? Of course, I win the debate.

Example One: I'm cool cause I drive a geo.

For a brief moment today, I felt dang cool. It was during 3rd period, and I was cruising around the drivers ed range in a blue geo metro with a trashy gearshift. For a fraction of the day, I felt like I was in control. I had the power to go where I want, and I could move fast. No longer was Jameson telling us not to touch the forbidden gas pedal, we were now accelerating! That's right, I was accelerating in a metro, I didn't think it was possible either. So, I felt pretty dang cool putting around at 8 miles an hour, then trying to brake so I didn't give Jared whiplash. I was keeping that orange cone so centered in front of me that you could have used it to triangulate the position of a satellite in space. I had mad skills.

And then I got out of the car, but the euphoria didn't leave! I still felt cool! I had driven! It really happened, it wasn't some sort of dream, it was real, and I did good. A few good minutes later, reality set in as I thought about what had just happened.

"Chris, you just idled back and forth in a straight line with about 10 other cars in a parking lot while an old man talked through the radio to you. You're not cool. Most normal people can drive without fearing the gas pedal. You just taunted Jared cause you "owned" him. You're not cool, its a metro. Lamewad." -my head

Lets face it. I thought I was cool cause I idle'd in the parking lot. I'm just like all those other lame sophies that have never touched a steering wheel before. I could run a whole lot faster than I was driving. But for a bit, I thought I was cool, Heck, I still think I'm cool!

Example 2: So.... Umm..... That's a shiny belt you've got on.

today at lunch as me and glen left the cafetorium to go get a drink, I ran in to some girls that I knew. Now, I don't know them super well, we're not super great friends, but I stopped to talk to them. Bad idea. Just, terrible idea. If I can't relate what we're talking about to warcraft, I probably should just keep my mouth closed, because nothing good comes out of it. So, I'm sitting there talking to these 2 girls, and I'm just like "Gosh, I'm smooth, I just stood here in akward silence for the past 4 seconds, and I'm still not about to go anywhere." I finally had to end the akward silence with my quality "Well, me and glen are gonna go get a drink, you have a nice day." I'm just an akward kid, lets face it. Do I have anything good to talk about? Not unless it has 580 hitpoints and a ring of +2 agility.

Example 3: There's a do-rag on my head.

Yeah, I think the title speaks for itself. I'm wearing it, and I look dang good.

Example 4: The Friday Fumes.

Every time that me and my boys see any movie/TV show that has boy bands in it, we wanna start one. We saw sons of provo, and we wanted to start a boy band. Me and kyle saw ryan shupe, and we wanted to start a band. We figured out that we could dance in unison at the region dance, and we wanted to start a boy band. I still want to start a boy band, and I'm just listening to music. We all know everybody that's cool started out in a boy band before they were rich and famous right?

Example 5: My incessant use of big words to make myself feel cool.

It's like I just learned the word "incessant" last week and I've been writing it like mad. Nah, I really learned it years ago, and it's showed up in every blog for the past million weeks. Why do I like it so much? Cause it's so long and so cool sounding. Blatant is a good word too, along with "uber roxxorz"

Conclusion:

So, as you can plainly see, there is alot of scientific evidence supporting the theory of me being lame. However, I refuse to believe such nonsense. Sure I just spent the last 10 minutes typing about how super akward I am around girls, and how I use big words to make myself feel like a big man... But that doesn't mean that I accept the fact. If I weren't so cool, how could I still go to bed smiling every night? How could I look myself in the mirror and wink like I do every morning? I couldn't! Which just goes to show you, when I try to write anything funny, it just doesn't work. I'll never do it again.

Expect a default blog next week, ya know, one full of frisbee dreams, and complaining, and the occaisional warcraft story. Yeah, we're cool.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Broadcasting to Nowhere

I firmly believe that somewhere in the middle of nowhere there is a radio tower that is just broadcasting an amazing array of all sorts of fun stuff, and that it's being heard by absolutely no one. If I was a rich man, I'd put a hidden radio tower in the middle of the Sahara, broadcasting dating tips, today's lucky lotto numbers, and all your classic rock favorites. Nobody would hear it for years, but when one sorry stranger walks through the desert, and picks up my frequency, he's gonna laugh and laugh like an idiot cause its gonna be so funny, and that will make it worth it. All run on sentences aside, I know that nobody has read the last post by the time I'm writing this. I write this because I want to, but it'll be short.

Today has been a spectacular day. I conquered my fear of the oval and went today, but it was closed, bahahaha. So, we did some ridiculously hard workout in the auditorium. It was amazing, just super tough, but made you feel really great a couple hours later. I loved it to the max.

School was super easy, tomorrow ought to be super easy too. Lunch was delicious, I still love lantus. It reminds me of 7th grade when I didn't have to do anything to have amazing numbers, it's great. Drivers ed ought to be fun. There were some acutely dissappointing things about today, but that's alright. Me and kyle won the hottest warcraft game ever today. 'Twas a nice day really.

Tomorrow I leave for scout camp. It ought to be fun, but it's gonna be crazy cold. Cold like a clamshell. I'm debating whether or not I want to go sleep in the snow caves. Word on the street is that they;re warmer than tents, but it's still a little nutty. Anywhom, I'm gonna write a pretty fun writeup on it when I get home, and I promise it won't be long, and there won't be any philosophy whatsoever. It'll be great.

So... I think that's it. Wow, short action. Not short like short people short, just short like hop on pop short. I'm a terrible person, cause really short people make me laugh. Like, when two really short people walk by in T-ville holding hands, I always chuckle. I know, I'm a bad person.

Well, aight y'alls, tis bed time. Have a dandy one. *toodles*

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

The Parting Glass

Good evening. It's 10:12, normal people start getting ready for bed now. Me, I start writing. I have no idea why, but here I am, and I've started this, so I'm going to finish it.

It's getting kind of lonely just chilling here, watching the sagebrush go tumbling by. Maybe something exciting will happen to me while I sit in my office chair once again... There was a time when this desk was a center of action and happenings, when a new adventure awaited me every time I sat down. Now, it's a monotonous cycle of "anyone fun online? Nope" "Wanna play warcraft?.....dang, we lost again." And the ever classic "wanna play warcraft, I bet we can win this time!"

Maybe it's time to find some real friends? Nah, that's way too much effort man.

Nah, but life has been pretty good this week, not much to complain about. Late start days are just amazing, you can't beat them. I had the most absolutely wonderful morning. I got up at 7:30, and just took it easy. Sure, I was about 10 minutes late to school, but it was worth it. Who wants to rush in the morning, and start your day off like crap? It's much more fun to just lounge about, and be comfortable getting ready. I love late start days.

The new semester started, and it's a whole lot like the first semester. The only difference is drivers ed instead of fitness for life, Kevin Barrett in my chem class, and about 50% the people in physics. Aside from that, school is the same. Still no classes with the twins, still only a couple with kyle. I was sort of hoping for a mass musical chairs sort of deal, but it didn't come, and that's cool.

I'm excited for drivers ed, I'm thinking it's going to be very very useful to be able to drive. That opens up my potential for travel alot;). I've got some secret plans with a car, and I'm excited. Sure, I won't be able to drive till the last week of school, but it's still going to be dandy.

Oh man, scariest thing ever in English today. We got split into assigned groups, and our job is to save the world. We've got to research some terrible things that are happening to kids in the world, make a killer presentation on it, find a solution, and then start the solution. So, I got a really good group actually. We went over the group jobs as a class, and then Ward gave us some time to figure out who was going to do what. Now, in almost any group I'm always going to end up being the "leader". I used to be a jerk about having to be in charge, but now I just kinda let things flow, and I usually end up the leader anyways. I don't have a problem with that, it's cool. Anyways, as soon as we break into groups to do our thing, some new girl that came to the school like, 3 days ago, totally starts dictating the meeting, she was going crazy!

And I'm thinking "No way! That's my job, she can't be the dictator!" But she did it anyways! To tell you the truth, I'm a little afraid of her. In most group situations I sit there and try and force good ideas out of people, and when that doesnt work, I resort to a tactic Andrew taught me.

"Dude, its not fair for you to give out all the good ideas, and we know that they're not going to give out any good ideas. So the trick is to feed them your good ideas subliminally, and then let them regurgitate them for you. They think they've done a good job, and you've got a good idea on your hand." -Andrew

So, I'm totally playing the laid back, let's-see-what-happens card, and she just jumps in and goes crazy! She had fire in her eyes. She wanted to be the manager like crazy, it was hilarious. She wanted it more than kyle and I suck at warcraft. Luckily, the "manager" position requires mad computer skills, and she admits that she doesnt have them.

Rahaha, so I got the job anyways, even though crazy nazi-dictator-take-thatcher's-job girl wanted it. I honestly am a little afraid of her though, because she's just gonna keep going crazy. Oh well, perhaps we'll be able to find a solution, like ridelin for the power hungry. She was nice though, just crazy!

I've been listening to one song straight for the last 2 days. It's a pretty fun one, but my dad is getting very tired of hearing it. Yay for headphones and bagpipes.

For some reason I was on a DDR fetish for the past day because I played it at Courtney's on tuesday. I was waiting all day through school to come home and play, and then when I finally got home i totally forgot about it. I remembered at scouts, and came home and realized that I hadnt played in months and that I wasn't even good. It's alright though, after an hour I got to be alright again, it's good fun. You've got to love DDR. It has nothing to do with dancing, and it's an amazingly simple game, but its got an elegance to it. It's just fun. Someday I'd like to be good.

I'm still a slacker with the whole track situation. I still can't convince myself that it's something that I've committed to do. Normally I'm fine doing whatever for whatever team im on, but not now. Everyday I think to myself "No way am I going to practice, thats just crazy talk." And so I dont. But it's alright, I still scored a nice 24 hour fitness pass out of the deal. So me and Jason went over there today. We have no idea what practice was for track. We assume the team went to the oval. But since me and Jason dont have a car, and I definitely dont have money, we walked to 24 and got a killer workout. Maybe someday I'll have raging muscles. w00tah.

Andrew showed me a way cool online calendar thing. It's free, and the best one either of us have ever seen. It's got a very google-esque feel to it. So, if any of you have been searching for a quality online calendar deal like I have, search no more. http://www.planzo.com

There's a region dance this saturday, and I'm just ever so excited for it. I don't care how lame I am, I like em. There's something very cool about sweating all over the place in your nice shirt and dress pants, and then asking girls if they want to stand next to you for the next 3 minutes while you make lame jokes, smell funny, and drip on them. It's powerful fun, and the cookies aren't bad either. I think everybody should go. Me and kyle are gonna be there, and that means it's automatically a rockin' party. Region dance for life!

I'm definitely liking this snow. I love when it's the middle of the day, and it's all stormy outside, so it's dark. Its not the 'inversion' style of dark, its another one. It's more gray, and a bit darker. I don't know why, but I just love that. It makes the world seem alot smaller and alot closer together. I know I'm a little crazy, but clouds make my day.

Good crap, I still love this song.

I'll admit, I do miss being on the nerd team. It was a rush. They were the glory days, but as Levi has repeatedly reminded me, I can't go back, I've got to move on. Oh well :(.

That's right, that's at least 2 emoticons I've put in this crazy blog. you want a piece?

My family has always been very traditional about everything. We are rather afraid of change. Well, not necessarily afraid, but we're very happy with things the way they are. When we go out to eat, we go to the same restaurant every time, and order the same thing. It's cheap, and its amazing food. We're yet to find any mexican food anywhere that can beat it. Thus, we go there every week. Is there a problem with that? Why pay more for food that's not going to be as good? Thus, logically it makes sense to go to the same place and order the same thing every time. Sure, its a little embarassing that all the waiters recognize us as soon as we walk in, and ever more embarassing that they know our orders, but not our names. Oh well. When I start dating I'm going there for every date. Girls that don't like mexican food, well, you're out of luck.

Anyways, back to being traditional. Andrew is probably the worst one, with me coming in second. Andrew is dreadfully opposed to change. We decorated our Christmas tree different this year, and he freaked out. He mentioned it every day, it was hilarious. Has anybody noticed he only has orange shirts? You know why? It's cause thats what mom told him he liked back in the day, and now thats what he likes. He's happy where he is, and he doesnt want to change.

Well, Stephanie is some sort of radical free thinker. Now that she's got a job and money, she's made it her goal to modernize the Thatchers. She was responsible for the crazy decoration of the tree. Most recently, she's introduced this crazy new fad puzzle Suduko, or however you spell it.

So, pops decided that that was one of the things we were gonna do for scouts tonight, and it was pretty fun. It's a way cool puzzle, and pretty challenging. It's good times I tell you. If stephanie keeps this up, we'll all be normal in like, 4 years. That's just a scary thought there.

Is anyone else tired of chemistry? Ooooh oooh, pick me.

I've decided that I'm not quite so afraid of my cell phone anymore. Does this mean that I'm ever going to call anyone but my parents? No, but this just means I don't have to hide from it at night anymore.

Don't you love how random and disjointed this madness gets in the end? I keep thinking that there might be something else that I want to talk about, and so I hesitate to just end the post. I end up putting down a ton of stuff, but none of it connects, and its all just random stuff I feel like talking about for a couple lines and then quitting. Is that annoying? I sort of like it. I don't know though, I've got nothing to compare it to! Bunch of slackers.

Well, I guess I ought to go start my chem homework. It's not too bad. Oh my goodness! I'm about to fold my hundredth work unit for F@H. I know that none of you know what I'm talking about, and even fewer of you care, but I'm excited. Hooray for protein folding.

Well, it's time for me to retire. You've read long enough I figure. Comments are appreciated, but not necessary. Maybe someday I'll migrate to a place where you can all write cool stuff. There are some options out there, but I'm pretty happy with my current home. When Frisbee season starts I'm going to move somewhere else, to make things easier, but thats not till next year. As for now, I'm staying here, not writing about anything in particular until I get a grand idea. My audience has shrunk considerably now that none of my friends are in banking and finance. Now they don't have an hour to waste on the internet every other day, so they don't visit anymore. Awww:(. (Thats 3 emoticons!) But with all those parentheses and periods, you can hardly tell what the original intention was. Well y'alls, it's time for me to exit. but remember:

Life is good, not bad. When it's bad, it's cause it's about to get good. When you're at the bottom, you can only go up, but that doesnt mean that it's a good idea to try to suck anyways. Remember why you do stuff, and what the end goal is. Don't do drugs. Stay in school. Chances are the NBA isn't going to draft you, so you might want to get some real skills in the meantime. DVD's hold more than CDs, its time to get a burner. There is life outside of frisbee, and there is life outside of this office chair. People aren't as scary as they look. They're kinda cool to get to know. Be nice to everybody, cause one of these days you're not gonna have time to explain where you're going with this conversation, and someone is gonna get their feelings hurt. Be the good guy. Don't just make the good choice, make the better choice. Sure, it's ok to say I didnt tag you in capture the flag, but is it honest? Love everybody, cause everybody has got something cool in them. If you ever have the oppurtunity, learn to play the bagpipes, and get a scottish accent. Sign up for the talent show, everybody cool is doing it. Remember the resources that you have, and use them whenever you can, there's a reason that they're there. Don't lie, it only hurts people. I don't believe that there is ever a time when lying is a better choice than telling the truth. Wear sunscreen. There's a region dance coming up, and it's going to be amazing. Work hard. Don't be a slacker. Don't be afraid to break a sweat, it makes you feel better in the long run. Drink plenty of water, stay hydrated. Avoid soda pop, its bad for you. Diets are probably a bad thing. When in doubt, it's best to do all you can to figure stuff out. Don't be content with mediocrity. You're not meant to be mediocre. You are built to rise above the rest, and to make something out of yourself. Don't be happy to wallow away among the masses. Don't justify yourself based on what others have done. Take responsibility for your own choices. Maybe some people have done things to you that suck terribly, but there's a time where we must accept our past, and work to make our future better. When we make good choices, good things happen to us. When we work to make our futures brighter, our futures truly become brighter. When we trade the future for the present, our futures dry up and die, and the present of tomorrow sucks big time. Don't be afraid to share. Don't be afraid to spend a little money having fun. Remember that if it's a fight between google and microsoft, google always wins. Cancer is real, someday one of us is probably gonna have it. But it probably won't beat us, that's what's so cool about it. I can drive fine, no matter what that stupid checkbox says. When you're curious, it's probably best to ask a question. Just because someone said it, and then someone quoted them, it doesn't mean it's true. It doesn't really matter what other people think about your socks, as long as you like them. Coats are a wonderful thing. When it's cold outside, it's best to wear a coat. They keep you warm and comfortable. Why would you not want to be warm and comfortable? Practice makes everything better. It's amazing what practice will really do. Believe in yourself. Believe in others, there's alot of power in people that we never see. Whatever it is you're doing, do it well. A sincere complement to a total stranger has a tendency to change their week. Don't be afraid to be afraid of some stuff. Say what you want, because by the time someone else reads it, you will have forgotten what you wrote. Do your best, there's no reason not to. You're going to school for a reason dummy. Why are our lives better than starving children? Because more is required of us. We will be held to a higher standard. Rambling lists sound so noble. Remember who you are, and where you're going in life. Remember what you want, and do what you can to get it. Don't be a pushover. It's always good to end on a high note. Remember, that the one thing that humans are the worst at is remembering. We forget what makes us happy, we forget where we're going, where we come from. We forget what happens when we put our finger in the electrical socket. Remember to remember, and you'll do alright.

Christopher Thatcher, out.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Update

It's 9:00 PM, monday the 16th, and I'm going to bed. That's right. 9 oclock. Take that suckers.

And you all have to write stuff you slackers, c'mon. Whats with this "I dont write anything" idea? Psh.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Fly

So good.

So, you all know that dream about the future that we all have? You know, when we'll have cars, and go places, and do stuff, and just have fun? Where every joke will be hilarious, where we'll go to carl's junior at 2 in the morning just for kicks, and life is just good?

Even if you don't know the dream, it's there, and I think its probably in most of us. I always dreamed about "High school" in all of its glory. The dream was good, everything was happy. Over the years the dream has changed a bit. Eventually the idea of girls hanging out with the posse hopped in, frisbee made it to the center of my plans, and it natually evolved. But the same main concept was there, never a dull night, random adventures, and lots of fast food.

Well, welcome to high school. Where we're all a bunch of lame sophies without cars or jobs, where girls think we're smelly, and we look forward to region dances more than we look forward to dinner. I'll be the first to raise my hand and admit that I'm one lame duck. I'm not even cool, but I still really enjoy life.

I don't have a car, and I definitely don't have a job. But I've sure got a brother that has friends that have them! Andrew has been down this weekend cause there are a couple of farewells, there was some hot frisbee planned, and just cause he likes coming home. I've got to hang out with him the last two nights, and its just amazing.

Last night (Friday) was gonna be snow frisbee. It was on the calendar, I told all of you how excited I was for it, it was going to be amazing. The weather forecast said wind, but it didn't pull through, it was a clear night, no wind, fine temperature; conditions were perfect.

Me and Andrew were about 40 minutes late, and when we got there there were a whole 4 people there. 2 of them were amazing, and 2 were relative newbies. One of them ended up pretty good, and the other was a funny guy, so its all good. See, instead of thinking about it, and saying "Hey, lets play some 3v3 on a short field." We said "Hey, lets play a 3v3!"

Normally when you have fewer people you shorten the field, and make it a bit easier. Nah, we're way too cool for that. It ended up being a 3v3 huckfest with my new amazing flashflight, and it was actually pretty fun. We were just joking around the whole time, but it was great times. I was throwing trash all night, but it was just fun to laugh. I blocked one of brady's hucks, and that's just not a good idea. See, you always want to get in a guys face, and pretend to want to block him, but deep down in your head you're thinking "If this hits my arm it's gonna break it." So, it glanced my arm then smacked my head, and I got a tiny bruise on my arm. I was gonna take a pic of it cause I was pretty proud of that fact I had got a bruise, but it had faded by this morning.

So, that was kicks and all, but we ended it cause it was getting old. So we're by the cars, and Andrew and Brad hadnt talked in a while so they just hung out and talked. We decided it was too cold, so we got in the car, turned the heat on. So, we warmed up, then got hungry, so we went to carlos pequeno.

This is where it really started to get cool. I mean, the whole night had been fun, we had been joking around, laughing alot, just smiling and all. But then we added some burgers to it, and it just made it official. Scott Davidson, Mcqueen, and some other dude showed up cause they saw brad's car, and we just had a blast just being stupid and being there. It was amazing.

Tonight, the cool attempt to hang out and be cool fell through miserably. Me and Tania had our own little party for a bit, then went to DJ's and played phase 10. W000-friggin-hoo. I commonly say that I'm an old man. I say it because Im one of those kids that is afraid to do anything, ya know? Well, I really felt like an old man, sitting there in the basement, playing phase 10. Whoohooo. Where's my fiber?

So, that was just kinda like "Booooo" So i bailed at 10, and was all lonely and lame for a while. Andrew once again pulled through though, and on his way out he asked if I wanted to go play nightgames at the park. Of course I wanted to, so we rolled out.

It was just fun. I don't know why, they're just a bunch of funny people with cars, and that makes them cool. I love just laughing at anything. There was no shortage of awesome stuff said. There was some hot frisbee in the 20 mph wind, a race with a cop, and some awesome garbage can sliding. It was just fun, I don't really know how to explain the madness.

Well, on monday andrew goes back to school, and I've got to realize that I've got my own friends, but that they're just duds without cars. Nah, they're cool. It was just fun to hang out in another world for a weekend. It's pretty cool that Andrew is up at college though, for some reason he thinks my jokes are funny now.

I don't know, I'm looking forward to the future. I'm going to be huge, because I love fast food way too much. It's not hard for me to say no to a burger when I know its someone else's money, but when it's mine, I'm going to be there twice a day. It'll be 2 oclock, and I'm gonna be hungry, so we're gonna go to taco bell at 2 AM. I don't even care if anyone comes with me, it'll just be fun. I'm going to get a job, and start doing something cool with my life. I want to make fun movies, I want to hang out, I want to play frisbee, I want to play basketball, I want to just go hang out somewhere and laugh at everything. Not worry about stuff, not sit in an office chair, communicate with people without typing, and just have fun.

I know life can't be a dream forever, but for a couple nights I'd like it to be. Someday it will be. I've seen it, I know its there. Now all I need to do is get a car, and suddenly get funny so everybody laughs.

What can I say? I want to be a party animal. Who's with me?

Life is good, it's been fun. Reality sets in next tuesday, and I'm not too excited about it. I've decided that I'm going to bed before 10 oclock every school day next week. I'm gonna see how much of a difference it makes in my life. Right now it's 12:45. I really do need to get more sleep. I'm not sure why, but I just think it'll increase the quality of my life. I figured out that if I went to sleep at 9 every night I'd never ever be sad. Not because crappy stuff wouldnt ever happen, but just because the only times I'm ever sad is late. Funny bit of info eh.

What's new? Not much, but I did pull down my 4.0. I really like my frisbee. Sometimes I feel like frisbee isn't everything though, its a little odd. Maybe reality is trying to set in. Maybe I don't want to let it, or maybe I ought to face it. We'll have to see how it goes.

I love lantus. My bloodsugar has been so amazing lately, its been awesome. I havent been this good ever! Well, not since my pancreas crapped out at least.

Time is marching on. It's been 3 days since I last wrote. Freedom is on the march too. w00tah.

So, who's with me for a brighter future? It's coming. We can't discount the present, but we know that there are great times behind, great times we've had today, and greater times yet to come. It's time to live life. It's been time to live life for the past 15.5 years, but now it's time to put it in writing. I'm ready, lets play halo on monday afternoon, then hang out with everybody that night. Life is gonna be great. Life is great eh? Alrighty, g'night all. I'll see you all soon. Peace out.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Sing

Hooblay. It's Wednesday, January 11th, 2006, 10:10 PM, and I feel a little bit like singing.

Why? Well, that's a fair question. Has there been some miracle in my life? Did I win something? Has anything good happened? Well no, not really, but its really alot of good things adding up. Are these "new" good things? Nah, they're the same old same old, but tonight I'm just more appreciative of them.

2nd term is nearly over, we're 1 day from being 50% done with the year. It definitely doesn't feel like it's been half of the year. I'm not changing my schedule much, except I'm moving into drivers ed for third instead of fitness for life. Fitness for life was really fun, I enjoyed it alot. I got to be a hero for one day, and that was just quality. I got to pretend to be canadian, pretend to be good at basketball, and above all, complain that we never played frisbee. I'm excited to move on though. I'm very excited to not have to hear about a certain person's girlfriend every day. That was getting old pretty fast.

Drivers ed ought to be good. Driving will be nice, that's for sure. It will just be a convenience really. Sure I'll never have a car, but maybe I'll buy a crap car during the summer if I get th carpet job again. Fix it up, see what I can do. That'd be nice. Im hoping there are cool people in my class, I already know there are going to be a few.

Right now on my schedule I definitely don't have a 1st period. It's just blank. I think that means I have to go to mass change day, and that makes me want to pee my pants in rage. Maybe I'll just go talk to hansen tomorrow and see what I can do.

I've realized lately that I really like science, and I really like whiteboards. And I realized that alot of people don't get physics or chemistry. I think that means that I like helping people. I honestly do like it though, its fun. I wouldn't mind just tutoring people after school sometimes, I think it'd be a good thing to do. Chances are I'll not do it, simply because there's not much oppurtunity for me to do it. Maybe next year though.

I want an office at the school. I want a place to hide all my frisbees for my mutant frisbee league, and a place to hang a whiteboard so I can explain momentum to people. Maybe i'll have to tie up the janitors and hijack on the of the closets.

Ooooh, that brings me to my next point. I'm tired of people blowing things out of proportion. "AHhh! The US has secret prisons in Europe! AHHHH! We're terrible people!" Guess what, chances are we need secret prisons in Europe. I personally feel safer. For some reason, I trust the government. Call me crazy, but I like to believe in the people that have been elected to make choices for me. I'd rather not sit around and wait for a paper to come through the fax before we arrest some guy who's gonna blow my family up. There's a reason the prisons are there people. Think about it. It's not like we're just a bunch of idiots running around with alot of money here.

Also, people who are worried about their phonelines being tapped: If the CIA hasn't read this worthless blog yet, im sure you've got nothing to worry about. I've mentioned peeing my pants with rage who knows how many times, and I haven't ever seen a spike in traffic. I figured peeing my pants on purpose is as big of act of terrorist as anything else. So, say bomb, bush, and duct tape all you want in the same sentece, chances are nobody is gonna listen to you. Even the guy you want to hear it.

So, I'm pretty happy tonight. There are problems in the world. And that makes me happy.

Just kidding, it doesn't make me happy, but despite the problems in the world, I am happy. There's something going on right now that I don't understand, and can't do anyting about, but since there's nothing I can do about it I'm just doing my best to not stand in the way of the train. I once knew a man that stood in front of a train. He got hired by wendy's to be their spokesperson.

I talked to my doctor today. He suggested some ointment.

You know one thing I really like about Melissa? She's very thorough.

Did you know that I went an entire post without mentioning frisbee once? That's amazing.

I love one-liners. They've only got one line, and they're like, one.

When it comes down to it, its snowing outside. Snow is good. It gives moisture. Moisture is good, it gives life. Life is good, it gives.....more life.

Can you tell I'm trying to be funny and just sucking at it? I sure can, but you know what, I smile anyways. I smile because life doesnt suck. Even if sometimes it's not the best in the world, its really the roxxorz in the end. Why? Cause I can type in l33t all I want, and there's no chinese censor deleting this trash. Cause downstairs, my mom is sitting reading the paper, and she's the best cook I've ever seen. My pops is watching simpsons, and he's just a stallion. He's got one kidney, he's a heck of a scoutmaster, and he makes fun of the same people I do. In 8 hours, I'm gonna wake up, and say "Good crap, it's too early" but Im gonna roll out anyways, and go to school, and enjoy it. Cause MJ can't live forever. Cause there's gonna be snow frisbee on friday. Cause my mouse has a right click. Cause Andrew's got hot chops. Cause Michael gets home in 5 months. Cause my sister still calls me "little one" and then gets mad when I can her "Big Steph". Cause no matter what, life goes on. Cause I wake up, and don't wanna wake up, and cause I go to bed, and don't wanna go to bed. Cause muscle weighs more than fat. Cause my great great great great great great great great grandpappy got pulled back in the mayflower. Cause google is taking over the world, and I'm with them every step of the way. Cause someday, my pancreas is gonna be better. Cause until then, i've got miracle drugs. Cause I love scriptures. Cause I can run a mile in 8 minutes and STILL feel good about myself. Cause I sluffed track today, because I'm fat and don't fit in, but I had fun playing Xbox by myself anyways. Cause all in all, last year was amazing. Cause I hang out with 12 year olds, and they're not even tall. Cause I hang out with 12 year olds, and they think I'm cool cause I AM tall. Cause even though you don't know what to do, you know that you can do something, and that it'll be ok somehow. Cause one day, we're all gonna be partying down. Cause some day I'm gonna be in love, and there's gonna be nobody to tell me I'm a sinner. Cause I can only learn more from here. Cause the word marches on. Cause open source is going to smite thee. Cause wikipedia makes me smile. Cause Olsen can only keep that mullet for so long. Cause kyle learned to tie his own shoes. Cause Levi is one funny stallion. Cause James needs an obligatory comment too. Just kiddin, cause James is as nerdy as me. Cause even though I'm gone, the world can still run itself without me. Cause even though I'm just a billionth of this world, I can make a difference. Because the future holds more than the past. Because the past has a tendency to repeat itself. Because there's more cookie dough to come. Because my metabolism is faster than greased lightning. Because things are going to be ok. Because paper, and paper products make my life better. Because some guy named frisbie made a pie tin, and then some guy ripped off the design and made a flying toy. Because my brothers made me who I am. Because the church is true. Because I've got a comfy bed. Because I know where I came from, and where I'm going. Because I'm not gonna fade away. Because some of you might forget, but I know somebody is going to remember me, someday. Because its almost the end of the term, and I survived. Because I don't have to hear about lily anymore. Because I like stuff. Because my lungs work great. Because there are people out there that are so funny, they just make you laugh. Because there are whiteboards. Because my mom and dad are so cool. Because my brother made me love science. Because Peck didn't kick me off the nerd team. Cause Tanner didn't work for sharpe. Because Kyle has mad dancing skills. Because time doesn't stop. Because the algebra test isnt on this terms grade. Because of veterans. Because of darren gardner making me nerdier than I already was. Because My dad works in the basement of a funeral home, and I still think he's cool. Because maybe something I've done has made somebody's life just a little bit better. Because even when I think life sucks, it's still funny how crappy it is. Because I can't noscope, and I'm ok with that. Because tomorrow is another day. Because I've still got morris' space cadet ticket. Because morris makes me chuckle. Because I'll never be locked inside Eisenhower again. Because Tanya was so good looking, I ran cross country. Because Joey won't shutup about youth council. Because someday, I'm gonna play ultimate again. Because of all the days I have played ultimate. Because of that one time at band camp. Because of all the times something has left me amazed. Because there's a nerf dart that's been stuck to the wall for more than 4 years, and it's not coming down any time soon. Because Nathan is going to be ridiculously successful in his life. Because somebody was smart enough to invent the garbage can. Cause I've got 10 fingers, and they work great. Because my grandma is so cool. Because my dad can fix anything. Because somewhere along the line I realized that life is going to be ok. Because I have glasses. Because I still laugh whenever I think that I'm living a lie. Because there's somebody out there who's going to make me happier than ever before. Because air smells so dang good in your nostrils. Because someday, I'm going to learn how to make my hair look cool. Because there's always another region dance. Because the russians used a pencil. Because of winn dixie. Because Nick is going to kick butt on the ACT, even though I don't want him to beat me. Because I helped someone get physics. Because some people are just nice, and they don't have to be. Because Kerry didn't win. Because the ozone keeps me from getting fried. Because we made it to the moon. Because of the childproof caps on all the pills. Because Leland Black is still the coolest kid ever. Because one day, I'm gonna have kids, and they're gonna be freaky. Because I can write my name in the snow. Because I love precipitation. Because I never finished snake, but it was fun just trying. Because I got to dance, and wear a lavender shirt. Because I got to be there. Because I'm ok, and you're ok. Because death isn't the end. Because it didn't happen by chance. Because for a little bit, things were perfect. Because things are going to be perfect again. Because freedom is on the march. Because Kyle has a hot audio device. Because Sylvia is probably wondering when I'm gonna mention her. Because now I feel obligated to mention jenny too. Because they're both pretty cool. Because my frisbee lights up. Because malt-o-meal makes dang good cereal. Because Marshmallow mateys have marshmallows. Because my scout shirt is way too small. Because of daylight savings time. Because hitler didn't win. Because of the atonement. Because of silly puddy. Because of all the amazing things we get to be around every day. Because of photosynthesis. Because life has meaning. Because my kidneys aren't dead yet. Because chicks dig scars. Because the sandlot is an inspiration. Because of marie curie. Because of fire extinguishers. Because one of them got out. Because I have examples. Because somebody believes in me. Because hall tag is just so much fun. Because the American Flag makes me smile. Because there's nothing like waking up to a bowl of fruit loops. Because we took nationals. Because we routed orion in round 2. Because I grew up on old school. Because no matter what they say, you're still you. Because Josh Groban isn't even good, but if y'all like him its alright. Because I love trees. Because I'm not dead yet. Because open office is a free alternative to microsoft office. Because I'm not even good at DDR. Because I've got good shoes. Because my parents love me. Because I've got great friends. Because there's just something cool about Glen. Because Jason Liu lets us make fun of him. Because curly fries are the most delicious form of potato.

That's why life rocks. Amen.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Its funny cause its true

So, I suggest you don't read the post directly underneath this one. I'm not going to delete it, simply because I said I wouldnt. I'm beginning to think I'm a tiny bit schizophrenic. Anyways, it's a bunch of turd, so you should probably ignore it. If you really want to read it, you can go ahead, but you've been warned, its not fun. I'm gonna write something cool tonight, this is just an early warning though. If you want to read, go for it, but if there's any doubt in your mind whether or not you want to, don't do it. Yay for blogs of the moment.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Feel free to not read this.

Welcome. Nobody reads this anymore. Nobody writes anything of their own anymore. That leads to a very bored Christopher Thatcher. Oh well though, not too much I can do about the matter. There was a point where the reason I wrote in this was simply to entertain the masses. When I get on to my computer, I check everybody I know's blog, to see if anyone wrote anything. Maybe once in 10 they have. That's dreadfully boring. So, I decided that I was going to fill the gap. Even though I don't especially get a kick out of reading what I've written in the past, I figured maybe you guys would like it. That way, at least one of us isn't bored. Maybe this blog is boring, or maybe you're only entertained for the 5 or so minutes it takes to read this stuff, but at least it's something right?

Making people smile is a good thing. On good days, that's one of my ultimate goals. That's what I want to do. I don't want to grow up to be a comedian, but I want to be able to make people smile by doing whatever it is I'm going to do. I'm not sure how I'm going to do it, because chances are I'm going to grow up to be a no-name brand man that gets mentioned in the paper once for something nerdy he did. Either way, i'm going to make a difference. Whether it be through changing the entire world, or whether it be by changing one person's life for the better, somehow I'm going to make a difference. There once was a time when I was very very happy with the dent I had left in the world. Back in the day. I figure I might have left a little dent in the world, but in the process of leaving the dent I've smashed other dents.

The idea of quitting while you are ahead is a very good one. I think that time was a while ago, but oh well, I'm still here, just writing. Nothing can really be awesome forever. Take for example homestar. Quality entertainment for however many years. Now it is pretty much stupid. Nobody likes it. Now, instead of thinking back on homestar with very fond memories, I think back and get a crappy taste in my mouth cause its not even good. Its the same way with the simpsons. They were golden, they taught me everything I know. And now look at them, just pretty lame business.

The problem with quitting while you are ahead is the problem of never knowing when it's going to cap. You buy 100 shares of something, and watch its value steadily rise. It hits $300, and you think "hey, I ought to sell, but lets see if it goes higher." And then it plumets to $5 a share the next day. gg.

So pretty much, I'm just tired. That whole analogy probably doesn't make sense to anybody. It's not about the girl situation by the way. Now it makes even less sense, hooray.

Nothing new has happened in my life. I'm still plodding along in school, not doing anything spectacular, just keeping my head above the water. Olsen has taken to showing blatant favortism towards me. He doesn't even try to hide it. "My prediction is that Thatcher here is going to be the first one done." C'mon, who just does that? I don't know if he thinks I'm depressed and wants to inflate my ego beyond its ridiculous size or what, but it was kinda weird. Oh well, I guess I appreciated it.

Anyways, on to the main action. Time is a very intriguing thing. I've been thinking about it tonight, and time is crazy. There are 3 subjects that I don't entirely understand that I want to talk about.

Number 1, is the selective observance that we have of time. Whenever I go to 24 hour fitness and run of their treads, I am constantly watching the clock. Running hurts, it's not too comfortable when you're trying to train. I love to just go jog, but treads keep you up at a high speed, and Im almost always running on inclines, so it's not fun. I just want it to end, but I always stick through to the end. I know it takes about 7 minutes to run the mile the speed I'm going, and I count it down second by second. It goes amazingly slow. The one thought that keeps me happy when I run is this "in 3 minutes, you're going to be done, and this pain will be gone, you won't feel it any more. The person that you are going to be in 3 minutes is going to be happy, comfortable, and stronger. The person you are going to be in 3 minutes isn't going to remember how much you want to stop. That person is going to be very happy to limp over to the drinking fountain and get a drink. He doesn't care how much you hurt, he's going to be happy." And so I go on like that. One cycle of that thought usually takes about 5 seconds, depending on how fast my brain is talking to myself. Once I've repeated that however many times, with however many variations I come up with, I'm done.

And you know what? It comes true, every time. The person that I am 3 minutes after that moment feels great. The problem is, the person on the tread mill and the person waddling to the drinking fountain can never ever talk to each other. They are entirely different people. Sure, it's still me, but that me and the other me never talk. Time goes so slow for thos 3 minutes, and it hurts. But the comfort is, that other guy sure is going to be happy.

Now, here's the terrible terrible catch. One day later, I'm back on that treadmill. Well "I'm" back on the mill. That version of me says "ok, you're going to survive this. In 5 minutes, you're going to walk over there, and be happy..... Wait a minute. You've said this before. And guess what, I'm back, and it hurts again. What the heck happened to that happiness I was supposed to feel from getting off the treadmill the first time? Why am I back? What happened to the past 24 hours of my life? where's the fat hapyy kid at the drinking fountain? Why am I here again?"

Do you see the problem? those 3 minutes seem so eternal, and yet I'm incapable of remembering how I felt so good being a fat kid the next 24 hours. The end conclusion that I have come to, is that you can only feel the one way that you feel at the given instant that you are in. We can think from the past, and we can think from the future to an extent, but we can never feel from either. The way that we feel is linked to the timeframe that we are in.

The same phenomena happens when I'm in a meet. I think alot about time when I'm running. Just because of the nature of the sport, as well as the fact that I want time to go faster, and yet I want myself to go faster than time. I feel so crappy in meets, I want it to end. and yet, one week later, I'm back in the same situation. We feel the way we do at one point, and that makes us who we are. We make decisions based on our emotions. I don't care what they say, people make decisions based on how they feel. The grand suite of someone's decisions leads to the actual identity of a person. That's why we're never the same person twice.

We tend to observe time when it is a big factor in our lives. I find that when time is the biggest factor in my life is when I want something to end, usually pain. This is when we remember time. We lose track of time when we are enjoying ourselves. Hanging out with friends, sleeping, doing whatever it is we like to do. We never think about time when we don't want to worry about it. We only observe time when it's against us. Selective observance.

Number 2: The March.

We cannot stop time. We know this. How long does it take us to figure this out? Well, I'm yet to figure it out. It relates to our existence in only one instance of time. 30 minutes ago when I was writing this, I didn't know what I would be thinking right now. Right now, I can't remember what I was thinking 30 minutes ago. I can't go back to me 30 minutes ago and change things. I can't talk to the guy that was sitting in my chair writing.

Unforunately for us, we're yet to figure it out. At least I am. My sister just made cookie dough. And so, I went and ate some. I love cookie dough, it tastes amazing. I am so happy to have eaten that cookie dough, but now I want more. I can't hold on to that feeling of happiness that the cookie dough gave me. Tomorrow, I am going to want cookie dough, just like every other day of my life. Time is going to rip this feeling away from me, and force me to feel something else. Then one day, all of that is going to go away, and I'm going to be utterly content for a few moments while I eat the next batch of cookie dough.

Time, it just keeps going. Never stops. funny, or tragic? The world would be a much different place if we could stop time. I don't even know where I'm going with this? is anyone still reading this? Is it worth reading? Probably not. I'm never truly gonna know if anyone read this. I'm never going to know if this impacted anyone. This just gets sent out there, and stays there. People want to be understood. People need to say things. Its for themselves, but they have to say it to other people. Why is that? Why do we naturally want to throw our thoughts upon others? Why are we not content to just think a thought, and be satisfied with creating that thought. It's not because we wish to be respected for our thoughts, is it? I don't think it is, but I might be wrong. Either way, I want more cookie dough.

That was a very off topic paragraph. Tomorrow morning I'm going to feel like deleting this post. There's a chance that that will happen. If that does happen, nobody will ever read this. I'm not even going to read it once I'm done with it, I'm just going to post it. Why are these things so long? Why don't I just say something then shutup? Who really cares about what I think about time? "Say it, say it well, and shutup dummy" Well guess what. I'm not gonna. Feel free to quit reading. Go ahead and be my guest. I'd love nothing more than for someone to read this, and say "hey, I read it, and I understood it."

But ya know, that's not gonna happen. go ahead. quit. You've read long enough.

I made a little video today, and I'm pretty sure the only person that is ever going to see it is robert. He gave it a 5 out of 10. It's not good, I spent about 30 minutes dinking around in flash to make it. It was the first time I'd used flash since 7th grade, so it sucked big time. it was fun though, at least it made me laugh.

Its kind of sad knowing that nobody is going to see it. I intended for it to be seen, but it probably won't ever be seen again. Not that it's worth seeing or anything, but its just that desire to thrust your thoughts on others.

I cleaned my room today, and I ran across some old notes from 9th grade that had been stowed away. You know, I never thought 9th grade would end. I just expected it to keep going. And here I am, in 10th grade, looking back on what happened. Some notes made me super happy, made me giggle like a school girl. Others, were just simply momentos of a former life. I don't think I spelled that right. In 9th grade, I couldn't picture myself reading those notes a year later. You live life forward, but you can only understand it backwards. I stumbled across kyle's classic "you're living a lie" note. That was a quality note. I'm not mad at him for it. I was only mad at him for 2 hours, then I just thought it was hilarious. me and my dear mother talked about that about a year ago. I remember these things. I don't remember exactly what happened, but I get the general idea. I had no idea how I'd turn out as a result of that note, or as a result of the corndog I ate that day. However, here I am now, the product of 15 years of living. I am made of what I did. Hi guys.

We live here and now. Tomorrow we're going to live then, but it'll be here to us. In my journal the other night I wrote "I've got a chem test tomorrow, and I'm not gonna do too well. Tell me how I do." The next night i wrote "Hey, I got a 92." The me the night before really really wanted to know what I would get, but I couldn't tell him. I can write it down though. The next person to read that notebook will have a near instantaneous answer to the question that I asked. He's going to see "what will I get?" and 20 seconds later see that I got a 92. Lucky him.

Sometimes you just gotta spill your guts. This is what I want to talk about. This is what I'm talking about now. The problem with this is that you don't know if anyone is catching your guts. this is a very indirect gut toss. your guts can sometimes hang in the air for a week before somebody catches them here. in that week, I'm going to change. I'll be a new person. Heck, I'll be a new person after I've read my scriptures tonight. I won't feel like this. In the morning I'll feel tired, but very happy. it'll make me want to nuke this post. I'm going to try to resist the urge. We'll see.

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
- Solomon Short

I think I've posted that before. When you give a person like me a medium to get all his loneliness out, you're bound to get alot of crap. There's alot of good stuff to read out there on the internet. And then there's stuff like this, that probably doesnt deserve an audience, but wants one like nothing else. This is 3.5 pages single spaced. 2500 words.

Anyways, on to something that might be worth reading.

I've decided that there are 3 ways to solve a problem. One way, is to simply fix the problem. If a girl says no guys like her, you show her a guy that likes her, and problem is solved. Another way, if a girl says no guys like her, you explain to her that guys are poop, and that she doesn't need to worry about it. The third way, and my current favorite, is simply to make them happy for however much time you can.

Right now my good pal Jenny is having alot of trouble with some angry cheerleaders. She quit cheer because it was brutal, and now they're all attacking her. I used to be afraid of cheerleaders for no reason. Then I learned that they're real people too. And now I'm afraid of them all over again.

Anyways, I can't change what the other girls said to her. I can't take back all the mean junk. I can't tell her that they didn't say it, because they did. I'm having a difficult time telling her it doesn't matter. In batman begins, the nice cop tells little bruce when his parents get killed, that it's going to be ok, it's ok. It's not ok, his parents just died. Sometimes you just can't tell them it's ok. What I can do, is try to make her smile. Maybe the relief is only temporary, but nearly everything in this life is nearly temporary.

So maybe I crack a few jokes, and make her happy for a bit. have I changed the world? For a few seconds, maybe. have I made a huge impact? Probably not. But at least for a little bit I helped, and that feels good.

This is alot like talking to yourself. Except that there may or may not be silent observers out there, you just don't know. If any of you have actually read this far, I appreciate it alot. If you can't tell, I've been a tad lonely. Generally there's someone in my life that I just talk to. Nah, there's not. Someday there will be, as soon as I wisen up. Until then, it's off to the bottle factory until I blow up and write a blog that nobody wants to read.

ya know, the great thing is, I already want to delete this post. Thats my favorite part. me right now wants to go kick the me that was sitting in my chair 30 minutes ago's butt. Tell him not to be an emo girl, to get over her, and stop wasting people's time with unhappy blogs. This isn't gonna make anybody smile. It's just going to bore them with my rantings. But you know what, as a tribute to the old me, I'm going to keep it up. The older me at least.

Emily dickenson (if that's her name) was a crazy poet. She wrote alot of stuff, and hit it in vases and random drawers all over her house. Then she died, people went in, and found it all. She had hid it there. I think that is amazing. I wonder if she wrote it just to write it, and then hid it so nobody would find it. I wonder if maybe she wanted it found. I think its more fun to imagine that she didn't want it found. I find that very noble. Me, I'm not noble at all. I couldn't stand to hide anything. I want things found. I want to share, and if sharing isn't an option, I want to thrust my ideas.

It's 12:10. Thats how my thought process has gone for the last hour. In and out of course. are you still here? I'm never going to know. Oh well I guess. If this blog is still here in the morning, which I kind of hope it is, and sort of hope it isn't, I might find out. These feelings are going to be gone in the morning though. I'm gonna be fine in the morning. That's kind of a ripoff. You can feel so strongly about something, and then 8 hours later it's gone. When you wake up, you feel like you understand, and that you were just screwed up last night. But maybe it's the other way around. Maybe its like the giver, maybe my pills just wear off late at night. Maybe I feel like going crazy and hitting someone. chances are I'm sane both times, but I feel pretty real right now. I feel real and very cheerful when I wake up, but now I feel real and a little frustrated.

I guess we're always real, we're always us, but we're never us the same way that we were us a couple minutes ago. I guess nobody cares about what I guess anymore really, not after 4 pages of it. That's really what I want, somebody who cares about all this trash that I've just said. Somebody that I don't have to think about what I'm going to say, somebody who just accepts what I say. They don't have to agree with it, but it'd be nice to not have to think of what I can and can't say. It's a good thing I live in america, or I'd be shot. Not because I feel like saying anything against any government right now, but simply because if I couldn't, I'd do it, just to be a butthead.

You'd think with all the writing I do I'd be good at it. haha, too bad. I honestly thought this blog was drawing to a close a couple paragraphs ago, but it's still going. When is it going to end? I'm not sure. I bet I could write forever. If I didn't care about what whoever was going to read this would think, I could go on for hours and hours about anything. But ya know, people don't want to know what you think sometimes. "
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." Bill Cosby

Now my font is different, great. Maybe I ought to stop worrying. The trouble with that, is that then terrible things happen. At least that's the perception.

Am I different? In a very real sense, I'm not any different than you. Obviously I am different, I know that. But I'm not the only one. There are people like me out there. In fact, every person out there is truly like me. Is any of what I have actually written here deep? No deeper than you. Have I ever been happier than you, or sadder than you? Nope. We tend to forget, at least I do. When I say "we" I mean "I", just thought I'd clear that up. Its not that I like to refer to myself as more than one person, even though I've done it numerous times tonight. Its that I refer to people in a general sense with the we. The problem is, I can only understand people as a general from my own experiences.

Wow, why havent I shut up yet? somebody tell me.

If I write any longer I'm gonna nuke the post. I might even nuke it now. What's my deal? I really wanna nuke it. Yeah, most definitely. This shouldn't really see the light of day. I guarantee the next post I write is gonna be "Sorry for that last post, it sucked. Now here's something cheerful." Well, maybe that won't happen. It's going to take a very strong man in me not to destroy this post in the morning. Hmm. As a tribute to old me, I'll leave it. at least I'll try to leave it. I hope that i leave it.

Here's what's going to happen. Tomorrow I'm going to be happy. So happy in fact, that I'm gonna think I was an idiot tonight for not being happy. Am I really all that sad? Nah, honestly I'm not. I'm just saying alot of things that I wouldn't normally ever say. The problem is, I'm relying way too much on me. that's just not the way to go. Doesn't do you any good. There's definitely alot smarter action going on out there.

It's good night time. Maybe some day I'll do this again, or maybe some day I'll spare you all. I really hope that somebody reads this. I doubt that anyone will. You all had the choice to quit. If you read it, thank you, I needed somebody to listen to me.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Frisbee Photos 1

More to come as soon as blogger decides it doesnt hate me.


Lit shot in dark.


a warp.


The logo, plus my shadow.


Upside down, lit, on the shipping box

Sitting on Andrew's office chair, taken from an angle. Looks like a saucer


One of the cooler warps. I hope you appreciate how hard it is to throw a frisbee with your left hand, take a picture with a digital camera in your right hand, while factoring in wind speed, the 3 second delay before it actually takes a picture, and the lack of focus.


Bet you can't guess that this is a warp.


Ahhh, an orange death noodle.


why you don't feed worms phosphorous.


Hiding in the corner with my computer wires

Lit, on top of the shipping box


Closeup of wires


Really cool warp sequence, one of the best


More warp


Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Adendum

Last post was ridiculously long. So long in fact, that many of you probably don't want to read it. I do not blame you for that. So, I'm going to make life easier on you. You may read it if you wish, or you can read my shortened version here. Here are the quick tidbits from last time:

  • I really like public forums, places where anyone can say anything they want, but only in a few words. I love grafiti, I love the thing they did at the conference center at first night, and I love that crazy highway with the rocks.
  • I'm pretty sure Ryan Shupe's (of Ryan Shupe and the Rubber Band) parents are in my ward.
  • I like balderdash, but im unable to go barefoot because of someone else's mistakes.
  • Im not good at carpet. Just cause I pretend doesnt make it true.
  • My frisbee ought to get here tonight.
  • Last year was the best, and worst year ever. At least thats what last post said. Now I'm pretty sure it was just the best.
  • Nerd team last year was amazing, Track was amazing, CC this year was amazing, working in the summer was way cool,
  • Love is like life on steroids.
  • Its just like normal life, cept raised to the nth degree
  • When you're up you're way up, and down you're way down.
  • If life is like hunting with a BB gun, then love is like hunting with a rocket launcher.
  • You go along with a BB gun, shoot stuff, kill some stuff, eat stuff. One day you shoot yourself in the foot, and it hurts, and you walk off. You only take down squirrels, but thats cool.
  • Love is like a rocket launcher. You walk along, and kill everything in your path. You can take down an elephant, and you eat good. Then one day you shoot yourself in the foot, and you just lost both legs.
  • '05 was a great year
  • '06 will be a great year, it looks bright from the get go
  • Frisbee will happen next year. I'll build the empire, and we will be victorious.

Alrighty, so, thats last post in a nutshell. Feel free to read it if you want, this is just for the sake of you illiterate folk. Whats new in my life? Well, its 10:05, and I've got nothing to do. Thats why I'm here, because there's nothing new.

Umm. yeah. Have a nice night everybody.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

2005, A Year on Steroids

And now my friends, it's time for the obligatory new years post. There is alot I can write here, because the new year always brings alot of things to the table. It's a time to reminisce and remember the last year, its a time to make goals for the new year, a time to look ahead, and a time to party down.

Logically, this whole idea of a "new year" is a bunch of hud. Its an arbitrary date on the calendar that is no different from any other. So what, the earth is at the same random location it was at 365 days ago, what does that mean to me? Its the same as any other day. New Years could be on May 13th, and it'd be the same. Logically it makes no sense.

But you know what? It's alot more fun to play along, even when logically it doesnt make sense. Thats something that I've learned lately. Sometimes things just don't fit the way you and the world look at stuff. "He punched me, I ought to punch him back, it's only fair." Guess what, don't punch him. Logic says to punch him. Something deeper says not to. You know what I mean?

So, even though logic says New Years is an arbitrary date that doesn't mean anything, I chose to play along. Hooray for the new year.

Last night I went down to the conference center with Kyle, Courtney, Tania, and Valerie for the first night thing. It was really really awesome, and I'm glad I went. They did the coolest thing ever, I was way impressed. They told everybody with a cell phone to send text messages and pictures to an email adress, and they'd put it up on the big screens. So, everybody just started sending awesome stuff, and it was cool to see what people had to send.

I'm very fascinated with public forums, places where anyone can put what they want. It doesnt have follow any pattern, its just what that person wants to say. One highway in the state going West past kennecot is ridiculously amazing. Its flat on both sides, with lots of rocks. As you drive on it, for miles and miles people have taken rocks and spelled stuff. For miles you can see what some person thought was important enough to warrant them taking half an hour to gather rocks and spell it out for you. Everyone has an equal oppurtunity out here. If you are willing to move rocks, you can put your message out to the world. There's all sorts of good stuff out there. I havent driven past in the day lately, but last time I did there was tons and tons of insightful stuff. A couple "Vote Bush '04" some "I (L) Person Y" and all sorts of other stuff. Someday I want to go study that highway, and document what everyone has to say.

Thats why I love textbooks and music stands. Text books have everyone's name in it that has had it, and sometimes they leave a little bit of wisdom for the next generation. I look at every text book I ever get to check out the names. Music stands have a limited space to add whatever grafiti you want to it. Im pretty sure the stands in Doc's room got painted over this year, but in the beginning of the year you could find one with a very good looking ninja turtle drawn on it, and another with "Girls are poonuts" scratched in.

I love stuff like that, and thats why I loved the little thing they did at the conference center. The first message that they put up was a quality "I finished the book of mormon last night. Yeah!" Everybody started clapping, it was pretty cool. Thornock took a picture of his face and added the text "Who needs a date?" A couple of people proposed, a couple people accepted. Some girls from plaza B said "Do you honor your priesthood?" and one girl was looking for "someone to kiss at midnight, but they have to have finished the book of mormon."

I was fascinated by it all, it was cool. Me and Kyle got our pictures up there, but they didn't add our text, which made me sad. We put (well, we had tania put..) "We love modest girls, give us a call: (Tania's cell phone number here)"

So, we didn't get any calls, but it was still a good time. Ryan Shupe was amazing, they did super good. It was awesome, cause they looked like they were just having a ton of fun playing up there. They were bouncing around and smiling, and it was cool, it was good music. I'm pretty sure his parents live in my ward.... They just moved in, their last name is shupe, and they kept talking about "Ryan" today, and how they went and listened to "ryan" last night. C'mon guys, his name is ryan shupe, thats what everyone calls the guy. They're related at least, its nutty.

So that was alot of fun, then I came back home and played balderdash with everybody that was at my place. Jesse kicked the crap out of all of us, but I didn't do too bad, I got 3rd, and started 2 rounds after everyone else. "A documentary about reclusive senior citizens with extraordinary talents" wootah. Oh, and my spleen feels wet. And I can't go barefoot because of someone else's mistakes. :D

Ok, so I went and did carpet like I thought I would on friday. It was pretty rough. I figured out that even though you eat at mcdonalds every day, it doesnt mean you work there. During the summer, when I cut carpet, I usually had at least a 2 inch margin of error. I could cut 2 inches crooked and still make things work. Friday I was supposed to cut a straight line. Straight. Just straight. That's alright if my name is justin or something, but since it's not, I kinda got my butt kicked, it was discouraging. Eventually we worked a system out where it got better, but it was still rough. The carpet was rubber backed, and so that just ate through the blades like mad. Oh well, I get paid for it, and got to relive the glory days of the summer. Hooray.

Ooooh, bad news. My mail order girlfriend, the frisbee, has been delayed in Logan. Apparently when Andrew got it, he didnt change the adress from his apartment in Logan. So, instead of shipping here, it shipped to his apartment. So my one true love is now sitting in the office at continental apartments in logan, all lonely and cold. I won't get to see her for at least 2 weeks. Terrible terrible. Oh well, I'll survive, I've been through worse.

Gosh I love to write in this thing. It's like a journal, I can write down everything I think, but it's alot better than a journal because I can write in it about 5 times the speed I can with a pen. I'm encouraged to write by the fact that I know somebody is going to read this. I do it mostly for me, but my excuse is for all y'alls. Its a nice system, I love writing.

Well, now it's time to look back on the year, and look forward on the next.

Last year was definitely the best and worst year ever. It was the best in alot of ways, like, winning the nerd championship, having all that pay off. Winning wasn't as much fun as beating everyone to get there, but it was good times. one of my best memories of all time will always be just running orion in round 2. 11-1 streak, you can't beat that with a 10 foot long clown pole. Nerds was alot of fun, the best thing I did in junior high. It beats anything else. If I could offer any advice to little junior high kids, it'd be to join the buzzer team, and work hard.

Last year was good, simply because 9th grade was a party. I got to the point where I didn't suck at track, and that was happy. The district meet was fun, I ran a 5.22.25 mile, and I'm dang proud of that. I got 1st in the second heat in the mile, and 1st in the second heat in the 800. That means I was the best mediocre runner out there. That was fun, I can look back on that and be proud of it. Sure, I wasn't the fastest in either race, but I didn't need to be. I did great, and I'm happy with it. I did what I wanted to do, and I'm proud of that.

I'm proud of how much work I did this summer. I worked my butt off doing that carpet. I'm not the strongest guy you're gonna meet. In fact, it'll only take you about 45 seconds to find somebody alot stronger than me in the viscinity. But all that aside, I worked hard. And I made up for my girly muscles with stone cold determination. We finished our job below budget. That is one great feeling. We beat the powers of adhesive, pulled that carpet up. We owned the power of gravity and friction, and placed some good looking carpet where the crap used to be. I got to be pretty good with one of those knives, and only but myself once, and buddy once. I made alot of money, but I learned alot in the process. I got to be a really good friend with Sharpe, and got some good hookups. It was a great summer from the work standpoint.

I gained a greater love for Ultimate Frisbee. This summer was the best frisbee summer ever. I don't think that there will ever be a better time in my life. For all my efforts I'm going to put in these next few years to build a frisbe empire, I can't help but think that I'll fall short of the glory that was before my reign. This summer, every friday, we'd go out to the field, and just play for hours. The sun wasn't up, so i didn't have to worry about sunburn, the wind was always calm, and the players great. I went from being last pick to not last pick. Some of the best memories will be driving to frisbee with Andrew, talking about life. He taught me some good stuff ya know, I love frisbee.

Cross country in high school was cool. I got to get to be at least acquaintances with the rest of the team. I'm not gonna say I'm friends, cause I don't think that I qualify as a friend in most of their eyes, but at least we had fun. I got to be in alot better shape, improved my time alot, learned alot, had a good time. Sure, I'm still a slacker, I'm not fast, I'm not talented in that field, but it's fun, and it keeps me healthy, I'm glad I did it.

Now, the only reason that last year wasn't 100% great was because of girls. Alot of you don't want to hear this. In my mind, I can see levi doing his trademark sigh, and thinking "here he goes again." Levi, I love that sigh. If I didn't love it so much I wouldn't write stuff like this.

But ya know, I'm not gonna talk about personal stuff. You all know the stories. Im pretty sure nobody knows the whole story, I don't even know the whole story. But I got most of it, and it's cool. but I'm going to talk about this whole "love" business in general terms.

Love, simply defined, is life on steroids. Well, that's not entirely fair. There are a couple kinds of love. There's the classic romantic love, there's the whole parental love, and then maybe something else I'm yet to experience so much. Basically, I'm talking about romantic love, cause its alot easier.

You live life just normally, and there are ups and downs. Good days, bad days, we all know how it goes. You're never happy forever, and you're never sad forever. Perhaps one is more prevalent in your life, but both exist. Love is just a modifier to life. A scalar if you will. The ups of life are dizzyingly high, and the lows are terribly low. On a normal day, if you're a 4, on a day in love, you're gonna be a 16. If you're a -2 on a normal day, on a day in love you're a -8.

Thats mostly why this year was higher, and lower than any other. There were some great times, some times where I just couldn't help smiling. Good crap, I really liked the first half of 9th grade plus the next couple months. When things were up, they were sky high. And then things start to suck, for whatever the reasons, and then things suck big time. I spent alot of time being amazingly happy, and alot of time being ridiculously sad.

To pain the picture more clearly, life is like hunting with a BB gun. You run around, shoot at stuff, some stuff falls, some stuff doesn't. Then one day you accidentally shoot your foot. And it hurts.

"Love" is like hunting with a rocket launcher. When you hit the deer, there's not much left of it when you finally walk over to it, and thast the way you want it to be. You can't take out an elephant with ease. Then one day you shoot yourself in the foot, and you just lost both legs.

Its life on steroids. Parts of this year sucked big time because of it, but parts of this year rocked to the max. this "love" is a dangerous thing, I don't want any of that mad action right now, at least not for a little while. I'd be very happy to go back to the whole innocent "giggle, I like that girl" Perhaps someday, perhaps.

All in all. Great year. Lots of ups, and lots of downs. More ups than downs? Probably.

2006 looks great. There's gonna be food, and girls, and more food. Levi's gonna be there.

No really, frisbee, getting good at running, working again. Maybe I'll get some muscles.

I tell you what though, I'm not kissing anybody, or loving anybody if I can help it. Maybe it'll happen, maybe not. Who knows. Sure, it's more fun than a barrel of monkeys, but its about as much fun as bird flu at the same time.

2006 will rock, 2005 rocked too. Thats all.