Monday, December 31, 2007

Blogaday 2 of 20

It is but day two.

But what a day two it is!

I have previously pondered the question of, "When did I start being me?" I believe I even wrote about it here before. Much of this may be recap then. I'm going to do it anyways.

That question is so interesting to me because it is entirely dependent upon the way in which we choose to characterize me. Do we characterize me based upon an eternal identity, like some sort of super social security number? Am I me based upon my lineage, my parents, my friends? Am I me based upon the education I've received, the titles I've aspired to?

I love the question because it reminds me that I take my identity from the actions I pursue. More than who I am, it's the way that I am. I find it refreshing that decisions are what help me know who I am.

So when did I start being me? How long have I been making decisions the way that I'm currently making decisions? How long will I continue to make decisions like this?

I think that I'm constantly changing. Who I am, based upon the criteria I've looked at, is never the same two days in a row. Minute to minute I believe I'm a different, albeit only slightly, person. Factors like my health, the amount of sleep I got last night, my hydration levels, the mood of my friends and associates, the weather, all factor into the way I make decisions, which factors into who I am.

So what is the struggle? I believe the struggle is to find out who we want to be, and then, above all, to be exactly like that. To be just like that, even when you're thirsty. To be like that even when your throat hurts and you've got a slight fever. To be like that even when things didn't go well in calculus. The struggle, for me at least, is to be the person I want to be no matter the circumstances. It's not too difficult to be me when everything is coming up roses. It's the trying times that help define who I am. It's good to be a good guy when the sun is shining, but who are you going to be through the perilous night?

Integrity and congruence and persistence, those are the keys to the answer that I know I'm looking for. Integrity because I've got to know who I want to be, and I've got to stick with it. Integrity makes me happy to be one person, and only one person. Integrity won't let me be two people. I've just got to be a heck of a whole person to make it stick. Congruence because I've got to be the same outside as I am inside. Fenton said it well when she spoke of congruence being the key to healthy self-esteem. It is when we find ourselves living in discord between what is true within us and what we project without us. Be we happy or sad inside, let us be happy or sad respectively on the outside. There is no peace when we are so clearly lying to ourselves and others. If I am going to be me, I have to be the real me. There can not be an inner me and an outer me. I must be me throughout, or there can be no real me at all. Persistence because the sine graph of life reminds us all that we must remember. There are good days and bad days, and I must work through them all. Persistence because bad days will inevitably follow the good days. Persistence because I want to be me on the ups and the downs, no matter the amplitude. I will rise and I will fall, but persistence and the sweat of my brow will keep me me.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Blogaday 1 of 20

Hey everybody, Happy Saturday.

I've decided to do another blogaday. This is number three, I think. The past two were fairly successful, lasting a week each. This one aims to be more ambitious, something like twenty days. I expected to roll this baby out with a big announcement and some super cool post, but I'm not really in the mood for all that right now. In fact, maybe I'm not even in the mood to start blogaday 20 tonight.

So, that's what we'll do. I'll see what this post does. If I post tomorrow, blogaday is officially on. If I don't, it's postponed till later. I like that plan.

Yep. It's just not flowing out tonight like I'd like it to. Perhaps it's a combination of factors, but I think that I'm going to get some sleep and try again tomorrow. Tomorrow looks like a pretty great day.

So, therefore verily, I wish you all the best. I hope things are going alright. It feels like I've been gone for quite a while, but I'm excited to get back. Breaks do that to me I guess.

It's time to get back to life. Let's do this thing.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Sonnet 4

I feel left out.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007


Countdown to Region Dance:

3 days. Score it!

Sunday, December 16, 2007


I fear that I've used that title before. I have that fear a lot, it seems. Titles are important to me. They mean so much and so little. A title can go a long way. This title reminds me of dolphins. But the post has nothing to do with dolphins. It's called porpoise because porpoise sounds like purpose, and this post has no specific purpose. I mean sure, it has a purpose. The purpose is for me to say what it is I have to say. But I don't necessary have an overriding theme for the post. There's no official outline of what I'm going to say, so there's no official "purpose". Purpose didn't seem like a good title, and I might have used it before anyways. That's why I chose porpoise, because it sounds like purpose.

Yeah, titles are pretty cool.

So what's in the news? Merriam Webster just named "w00t" as their word of the year. That doesn't mean that it's going into the dictionary, but it does mean that it's got a better chance in the future. A lot of people are a little upset about it all. "w00t" isn't necessarily even a word, judging by the fact that it's spelled with two zeroes and all that. People have come to expect something epic and relevant from Merriam-Webster's word of the year. A few years ago they had "truthiness" as the word. It was penned by Stephen Colbert, and represented not only the gap between what one perceives and what is reality, but a culture that was willing to reject the shackles of grammar for effective meaning. It was a good word.

But what does w00t really mean and represent? When I first heard the news that it was selected as word of the year I was pretty overjoyed. I use w00t all the time. It's plastered all over this blog. It's a gamer term, and I take pride in having that whole culture be a part of my upbringing. I am the way I am, at least in a small way, because of the forums.

I've begun to wonder if it really ought to be the word of the year though. It does represent a cultural shift, obviously, towards a new generation with their own slang that is influenced heavily by recreation that our parents never even fathomed. The world is changing, and our language has a tendency to change with it. w00t encapsulates that.

I think one of the things that turns so many people off from w00t being the word of the year is the relatively small community that it's associated with. If an individual is over the age of 25 and doesn't have teenage children or play video games, he or she has probably never heard of it.

Most journalists are over 25, don't have teenagers, and don't play games. They therefore run about slamming on Merriam for selecting w00t.

I tend to think that w00t wasn't that bad of a choice. Yeah, a lot of folks out there haven't heard of it. A lot of folks are still running around with the idea that anybody that says w00t is some pasty LCD-monitor-tanned weirdo without friends. I've got to wonder about people like that. It's generally considered bad form for journalists to generalize and insult an entire group of people with no regard. I think it's hilarious that they're doing it to gamers. I suppose they figure none of us read the paper.

So here we are. Apparently I'm a recluse with no tan that plays D&D all day long simply by the virtue that I use w00t. Bahahahaha.

I feel pretty good about myself. I know that I'm a pretty decent person. To that, I say w00t.

And so, therefore verily, I'm going to set about on a quest. I'm making it my person goal to prove that those of us who w00t are not all social rejects. One day, when I'm rich, I'm going to complete one heck of a business deal. I'm going to shake hands with some other moderately wealthy individuals. We'll hold a press conference announcing how rich we all are.

And I'll say w00t. That's what I'll say. I'll say it right into the NYTimes reporter's audio recorder. Maybe I'll even spell it out. Or, I could say something smooth, like "w00t! Business merger FTW!" and see what they make of that.

Because I feel like a fairly successful person. Don't take this for arrogance, but I know that I'm not a failure at life. I'm out to prove to all the naysayers that I'm not scum just because I say w00t. I'm going to do it.

Does w00t deserve to be the word of the year? I don't know, really. Merriam didn't just make an executive decision. There was voting and all that good stuff. There are 20 or so other words that were runner ups. But here we are, it's 2007 and w00t is the word of the year. The issue to me isn't it's WOTY status, it's the hilarious insults being tossed my way by the ignorant press.

Now, really, most of the insults have come from columns, not actual stories. Most stories have been very objective. But all you column writers. You just watch out. Cause you're gonna get pwned by a man that says w00t. Oh snap!


I find myself wondering what to do next. This week has been an entertaining one, albeit an entertaining one lacking in the progress department.

But here I am, on saturday, wanting to make progress. But I don't even know where to start!

And so I think I need a list. A list of things I want to be and things I want to do, and the things I need to do in order to get there. I worked on some scholarship apps today. That was good gravy. I figure I've got a decent shot at some cool ones.

But yeah, I need a list of things I need to get done so I can get working on them. I also need to post more. And higher quality and all that.


Monday, December 10, 2007


A good post is coming tomorrow. In the meantime, enjoy a picture that's been posted elsewhere, but is still pretty cool. Much love for the fence.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

College Race - Update

I like to keep tabs on what colleges are sending my mail. I think it's an interesting business, this college mail stuff.

In any event, BYU, as of today, is now in first place in the category of "Coolest things I've ever received in the mail from a college."

They sent, in their trademark blue bubble-wrapped envelope, a CD.

"Echoes of the Sabbath" is their promotional CD. It showcases the best pieces of all of their choral groups.

This CD is amazing. There are 13 tracks. Of those 13, five of the songs are personal favorites. Every other song is rapidly climbing the list.

I got to hand it to BYU. They sent a DANG effective piece of recruitment. I'm very attracted to the music programs at BYU. Not that I'm a real musical guy, but being in men's chorus would be one of the coolest things in the world.

Maybe BYU sent this to everybody on their list, I don't really know. Maybe they flagged me as a music loving guy somehow. Either way, they nailed it. I had no idea, but apparently this was what I wanted for Christmas.

Yeah, I'm very impressed with their CD. And I love BYU for sending it to me. Will I go to their school? Yeah, probably not. But heck, they've got a better chance because of this amazing CD. Thumbs up for you guys.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

What I Want to Be

I've always been fascinated with my own future. Recently, though, it's become much more of a concern to me. I've been thinking about it a lot. I'll admit, I fear I'm more worried about the financial aspect of it all than I should be. That stuff is very important, but I don't believe it's the most important. I've been trying to remedy that. I want to try something a little different tonight. It's been a while since I've made a list, and I think that that's just what's in order right now. What follows is an on-the-fly list of how I want to be when I grow up. We'll see how it goes.


  • I want to park my car really far away in parking lots. I'm very capable of walking, and I don't mind the cold. It's good exercise for me, and I can save the good spots for old ladies.
  • I want to run in the mornings or evenings. I want to hit Jordan Parkway or some equivalent until I'm back to being strong, then go trail running in the mountains. There's nothing better than a trail run during a summer morning.
  • I want to keep my email inbox clean, and respond to people in a super timely manner. I want to correspond with friends.
  • I want to drink 1 percent milk.
  • I want to carry a water bottle everywhere that I go. Kangen 9.5 baby
  • I want to be a real blogger. I want to keep this blog alive, but I want another one to run like a business. I'm not sure what I'll write about yet, but I'd love to do it.
  • I want to be one of those guys that trades work for work. "Yeah, I'll do your roof if you'll fix my car"
  • I want to be one of those guys that goes to the library. I want to use my tax dollars to the utmost.
  • I want to be trained in first aid and CPR to the max. I want to be confident in my abilities to respond when necessary.
  • I want to plant trees.
  • I want to have hazelnut bushes and fruit trees in my yard. I want to use that as often as possible. I want to bottle and I want to share.
  • I want to recycle.
  • I want to compost like there's no tomorrow. I'll have such a heap; it'll be a beautiful thing.
  • I want to ride my bike whenever possible. Bikes are good for me and the environment. I know that if I ride my bike, I'll be a happier person.
  • I want a tomato garden.
  • I want a green roof. You know, a garden on my roof. It'll be isolated and so serene.
  • I want to mow my lawn with a push-mower. I want a state-of-the-art manual mower. I love mowing the lawn.
  • I want to utilize google docs, google calendar, and all those other great and free google services.
  • I want to take full advantage of that which is free.
  • I want to donate money to Granite Districts Academic League fund. I want to make sure that nerd games never stop.
  • I want to go to community plays during the summer at outdoor amphitheaters. Same goes for concerts in parks.
  • I want to genuinely help people.
  • I want to go on my kids' field trips.
  • I want to be one of my kids' field trips.
  • I want to do 20 push ups every night.
  • I want solar panels on the roof (not in the garden). I want my house making money when no one is home.
  • I want to shave every day.
  • I want the doors and windows of my house open as often as possible. There's nothing better than fresh air.
  • I want to read books.
  • I want to do projects outside of work.
  • I want a strong extended family. My family now and the in-laws.
  • I want to surprise people with good things.
  • I want to have a piano in my house.
I'm confident that there's more. I will add to the list as life goes on. Kind of a fun list to do.

Those are all long term kinds of things. Maybe I'll do a short term one soon.

It's important to realize that the existence of this list doesn't really mean much of anything. It would be remarkable if I could pull all of that off. It would be remarkable if I could pull almost any of that list off. But hey, it's how I want to be, and it's my blog. Sue me.

There it is. What do you wanna be when you grow up?