Tuesday, June 14, 2005

...And the last seat on the plane is next to you

sigh, this week kinda blows, but I guess it's alright. It just kinda seems like everything is piling up against me, it's kinda wearing me down ya know? I might as well not have friends anymore. I either don't get to talk to them, get annoyed whenever I do talk to them, or they don't wanna talk to me, so it's a crappy system.

I started work last saturday, and it's tuesday night right now. That means I've worked 3 days. 6 hours the first day, 6 the 2nd, and 4 today. That's 16 hours, that means 112 bucks. I guess that's pretty cool, but it's been super super hard. We're doing tear up right now, and its just ridiculous.

We're doing parkside right now, and this is the school that I've always heard horror stories about. Last year we didnt have to do tear up, and every single day sharpe would remind me how lucky we were that we didn't have to tear up parkside. Well, he wasn't overexaggerating.

The carpet is only 5 years old, and whoever put it down sure was liberal with that glue. In all seriousness, the carpet will tear itself to shreds before it'll come off of the floor. We just spend at least 7 hours in one room, spread over 3 days. It's just insane, I don't know why it is the way it is. The boss showed up and agreed to let us soak the last room in there, maybe that'll help. All I know is that we busted a scraper on that carpet, and those are supposed to be indestructible. Im kinda tired of how hard it is, I hope horizon will be easier.

You know, in all reality, I'm tired of everything. I know my schedule probably isn't any more full than anyone else's, but I feel like I'm never home. It feels like I can't take care of myself anymore, I'm always ready to yell at people, and I'm just freaking out. I know I ought to be happy, there's no real reason to be sad. Sigh, I guess I'm just freaking out.

I suppose I have to stop expecting other people to magically make me happy, because it's just not happening anymore. It's pretty stupid to rely on someone else to make you happy, or at least let them make you sad. I'm not sure what I've done or haven't done, but it kinda seems like things are just falling apart all over the place. My health, my friends, myself, it's pretty lame.

Of course, things will all be better in a couple days, they always are. In a way that's dissappointing, in another it's good. I guess I'll consider it good this time. All I really wanna do is complain, but I have no right to, so I suppose I'll hold my peace. Sorry for the lack of happiness this time, I'm a little tired of everything.

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