Friday, January 30, 2009

Save Tonight

I thought the other night about starting a new blog. I wasn't thinking of actually doing it, I was just thinking about what it would take to do it- what that experience would be like. I thought about it the same way I think about flying an airplane. It's not something I'm going to do, but it's something that is interesting to think about when it comes to mechanics.

I thought about starting that new story for all of those new people. How does one introduce one's self? I mean, where do I stand?

This blog has been here for four years, on and off. More on than off, really. I love it for its historic value and for the way it has captured a part of me forever. I don't need to introduce myself here, because it's assumed that those who read it know who I am. We're familiar here.

But I sort of caught hold of that introductory idea. That concept of evaluating where I am right now and sharing it to give everybody a better idea of who I am and where I'm going.

And that theme sort of stuck with me for quite a while, as far as ideas and feelings late at night go. It started ringing bells and resonating in a lot of areas that had nothing to do with blogging.

How do we truthfully evaluate where we are? I suppose it's easy enough to catch specific areas of ourselves. Where do I stand academically? I came off of a great high school career that was filled with success and great opportunities to learn, both in the classroom and in leadership positions. I'm currently attending a university on academic scholarship, and I have no major, but I'm leaning towards chemistry right now. I'm holding a 3.75 gpa, but I'm working on raising that this semester. Now we have a decent idea of where I am academically, we can do that.

And we can do it for other areas too. What's my relationship status? Sometimes those ones get complicated, but more or less it's not too hard tell all the stories if you really need to. That can be understood.

I guess it's just that idea of the big picture that really got to me. Living day to day doesn't take much personal exertion. Granted, I wouldn't be attending this university in the manner that I am if it hadn't been for everything that has come before, but still, here I am. I went to school yesterday and didn't think at all about high school. I didn't think about AP credit or about choir or about litmag or Ultimate or good times at lunch. Those things that helped build me and bring me here, I wasn't too worried about them. And I wasn't thinking about where I'm going either. I was certainly at college because of where I want to go and because of what I've done to get here, but those things weren't serious concerns in my consciousness.

And perhaps that's just the reminder that I got. I am where I am because of the choices that I've made. Good or bad, they have built me. That's so cool. And even cooler is the fact that I'm making choices all the time, still. And that who I am in a week, a month, a year- that's up to the choices that I make right now. I love being a dynamic character.

Starting a new blog, introducing myself, that idea is so refreshing and appealing because the very act implies a world of forward progress that is about to be explored. "Hi, I'm Chris. These are my interests and hobbies, these are some cool things that made me who am I, and here's where I'm working on going." You can't introduce yourself with a new blog without that forward looking element. It's just, refreshing, I guess.

Life is good. It has its ups and downs. Learning from stuff isn't really something I ever was conscious about doing. Maybe it's just a cop-out. But still, progress happens, and that's a good feeling.

I hope you're all doing well. It's a late night post that I felt like writing. So yeah, good luck with everything friends. :)

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