Monday, May 28, 2012

Writing to Reach You II

There is a song by Travis titled "Writing to Reach You". I don't particularly like the song and I'm not writing this post to 'reach' anyone. It is, however, an awesome title. So I'm using it.

Tonight I feel a little off, and since tomorrow is a holiday and I don't have work, I'm doing something I haven't done for years. I'm listening to Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband -- Dream Big and writing a blog post. This used to be the song I'd listen to whenever I'd make plans for the future. It's a good song.

Life is different for me than it has ever been before. I've never quite been where I am right now. It has its ups and downs. The ups are pretty excellent. My job is absolutely perfect for me. I couldn't possibly ask for anything better. I have been incredibly blessed in this one. I'm learning a lot. Things are going very well at the singles' ward down here. I have a calling that I love and things are moving forward there. I'm living at home and I'm able to spend all day long with my family. I spend the work day with a few of my brothers and then get to see the rest of my family almost every evening. Things are great.

My social life, unfortunately, is quite dead. That's something that I would like to fix. I really loved the way things were going in Logan right before semester ended. I was super comfortable in my environment. I knew nearly everyone around me and we were able to do fun stuff pretty often. I miss that. My social circle right now is my immediate family. I love my family, but I know that I need to get out there and build a social life. No matter how antisocial I pretend to be, I know that I need that social interaction in order to be a happy person. I'm totally grumpy when I don't get out.

As last semester drew to a close I vowed that I would make this the best summer ever. In order to accomplish this I had some specific goals and initiatives set up. I haven't gotten there yet. A few things I was hoping for fell through. Things aren't as feasible as I once hoped they would be. I have some adjustments that I need to make. I will say that so far this summer has not been the best summer ever. The good news is that it is yet young. I recognize that it's going to come down to my choices. I can make choices that will make this the best summer ever. What those choices are, well, I don't quite know yet.

It has been said that life is simultaneously full of scarcity and surplus. I have so much time for family and economic progress right now it's insane. I have good opportunity to really serve and make a difference in this sphere. I have no car, no social life, and no time for naps when I need them. Things have never quite been like this before.

You know, it seems it always takes me a little while to get comfortable and confident in a new situation. I show up to a new place and have some rough days to start. It always makes me wonder-- I'm not particularly used to or fond of rough days. I wonder what I am doing that leads to discouragement or lack of success. Over time, though, things start to get better.

There's a lot to be said about experience. There's a lot to be said about making a mistake and then knowing how to avoid that mistake next time. There's something to be said about knowing and caring about the people around you. These are things that come with time. It's a little foolish to assume that I can walk into a situation and immediately excel. It's not surprising that things start out rough.

I've been learning this with work. There is so much you can learn about principles, but at the end of the day you need to be familiar with the with which you are working. Principles can help you get familiar a little faster, but when push comes to shove it's going to take you time to figure things out. Once you have them figured out, however, you can become pretty powerful. This is one reason that I love my job so much. For the first time in my life I'm getting real experience in something that I plan to work in for the rest of my life. This is huge.

Life is good. Life is simultaneously difficult. That's the way things are, and I think that that is by design. I don't know precisely what decisions I need to make in order to improve my situation, but I would like to start moving in that direction. Things are on the up and up. We're going to get there, you know.

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