Horrors and Validation

 ICE killed a human in Minneapolis today. Shot her in the face a few times through a car window. Heavy shit. Certainly far outside my sphere of influence, but saddening and troubling. My goal for tomorrow is to call each of my elected federal representatives and ask them to make this *gestures around* stop. That's something I can do. Likely not impactful. But certainly more impactful than sitting here and doing nothing. I will look up those numbers right now. 

John Carter, (202) 225-3864

John Cornyn, here's a link to fill out a form. https://www.cornyn.senate.gov/share-opinion/. I can also call a state office and talk there. Here is Austin: 512-469-6034

Ted Cruz. https://www.cruz.senate.gov/contact/write-ted/form. Also call Austin office at 512-916-5834.

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My partner asked me to validate her feelings tonight. Or, rather, she pointed out that I had *not* validated her feelings. This brought up a (not helpful at the moment...) question of "Wait a minute, why is it important to validate someone's feelings?" I mean, after all, she had the feelings. She knows they're real. She knows that the value and important of her feelings has absolutely nothing to do with me. Heaven knows she doesn't need a man to make her feelings important. I'm not trying to be an idiot here or anything. Like I know it's important. I know it feels good when someone else validates my feelings. Doesn't it? I honestly don't remember? I like when people listen to me. I like when people understand where I'm coming from. I like when they can acknowledge the way that I feel. It feels good to be noticed and seen. I don't know what the hell validation means in this context though. Do you need a double check? Do you need someone to tell you that your feelings at that moment made sense? "I can see how a person with your specific history and trauma would feel that way, if they believed that the way I acted was motivated by malice, sure." Like I want to be a good partner. Genuinely. I'd like to understand this. But I guess I just don't know what the actual hell the phrase "validate my feelings" means. I could read something, I guess? I searched online, but all I got was slop. Maybe I can dig a bit deeper. 

This problem is exacerbated by my lack of energy. I like to (do I really like it?) say that my mitochondria are being jerks right now. I overdid it today. I mowed some of the lawn yesterday. Then today I had to walk to the park twice. Far too much for this body. I'm not as good of a partner or dad when I'm completely out of energy. 

I'm going to try to get some sleep. I say "try" like it's not a freakin' guarantee. I take 1mg of melatonin (children's chewable, delicious) and I'm out pretty quickly. Hopefully I can get a full day of work in tomorrow. I'm still a bit behind schedule.