Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Project 37

It will take work, but I will make it happen.

This is entirely within my grasp. I can do this.

37, here I come!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Some good thinking

Hey everybody, happy Saturday.

Tonight isn't going to be a full fledged post. I think it's just going to be a list of sorts. There's some fear in my mind that this list will be taken the wrong way. I don't intend for that to happen, but there is a risk. Please be nice.

The thing that makes the difference between a good day and an extraordinary day for me is the amount of time I have to myself before bed. That time is, well, sacred to me. I've got a routine that builds up beautifully to bed. These past few weeks I've been doing better at it than usual, and it's been pretty enlightening.

See, my computer is in the basement. That means that I leave it earlier than usual and am more awake for bed time stuff. It also means I have a free desk in my room. There is nothing in the world that inspires wisdom and growth like a free desk.

I write in my journal and then read the scriptures. Before, during, or after that, I sit and think and write. My journal writing is very different from my other writing. Right now I'm writing most knowledge onto little half-sheets or so of legal paper. You might have seen me whip one out of my back pocket to check my to-do list.

But it's this extra writing that I'm loving more than anything. If a thought strikes me, I write it down and file it in a special pile. I've been working hard at making to-do lists and following through and checking them off through the day. I've been tracking my bloodsugar on paper and investigating trends. The difference has been spectacular.

There's a quote flying around that says the unexamined life isn't worth living. I disagree with the ultimateness of the sentence, but the idea is strong. How do we fix a problem? You sit down and think about it, make a plan, then go fix it. Time before bed gives me time to clear my mind and think about what I'm doing with my life.

That's the biggest difference between good and amazing days. I've even had terrible days turned around by my pre-bedtime peace.

That's been the key for me these past few weeks. It's hard to walk away from the entire world and delve into a strictly personal experience. It is good to note, however, that I spend a lot of time thinking about my friends during these times. I'd go so far as to say I spend more time thinking about my friends per minute during that time than during any other time.

It's been doing good things for me. It's an entirely unique time. Nothing like it really occurs spontaneously through the day. It's hard to have a time for inspiration to strike. An open desk and an alert mind with blank paper leads to it. I've been loving the pre-bed think.

So that's one of the big lessons for me these past few weeks. What makes my life better? Setting aside time to be awake and to study important things and learn. Turn the computer off thirty minutes earlier and say goodbye. It's a sacrifice, but it's been making the difference.

So here I am. It's 1:42, but I'm still awake. I feel like I've got another good thirty minutes in me. Here I go, I'm excited :D

P.S. the snow is sticking.

************ this is the last post, originally titled, "basement". I'm moving it for reasons of my own. No one will probably know about this but me. Ha! *******************************

I brought the computer down here to play Counter-strike with Nathan and Michael a few days ago. Haven't taken it back upstairs yet. Having it down here leads to some interesting mechanics.

The main mechanic is that I spend a lot less time on the computer. It's just less comfortable, there's less room down here and I'm constantly sitting on an angle.

It also means my room looks a lot cleaner.

I'm not sure which is better yet, but there is something beautiful about a clean desk with nothing on it. It just seems to scream out, "Use me!". It's epic.

I still don't know how to properly use quotation marks.

So, I've got some good ideas of stuff that I want to write. A few posts that are kicking around in my noggin. I do hope to put them down soon. I don't feel like tonight is the night to do it though. I think that my time will be better spent tonight doing actual work on the other side of the post.

See, because posts really have two sides. There's the side that you all see, that's really the middle side. It's what I write down, all those ideas and stuff just placed out there. It's the words. Sometimes they're pretty.

The other side is really the two outside sides. Before a post is written it's sorta birthed out in my mind. Something makes me think about something, and then I've got to figure out what my stand on that is. Then I'll wonder why that's my stand and try to figure things out. Then I'll come write, after the pondering, that's the middle side.

But then there's the back side, that gets neglected sometimes. Other times it's not-neglected to the max.

But the back side is the implementation. Back in the glory days, when I'd write a novel about Ultimate and how I was going to tweak my game next friday, I'd follow up and implement what I talked about. The back side is probably the best part of it all.

So I think that I'm going to work on this one concurrently. Something made me think of something, and then I thought about it. I've already nailed part one.

I'm going to work on the back part before I work on the writing though. I'll sort of do them at the same time I guess.

Now don't get too excited about all this, it's nothing big. Although I do love big things. It's just something that I want to do, or a way that I want to be. So, I'm gonna write about it.

But I'm not gonna write about it tonight, I'm just gonna work on it, and we'll talk about it some other time. I am pretty excited about it though.

In the meantime, I hope that you're all doing well. This week looks like it's gonna be awesome. I've 11:05, and I took a nap. That means I've got at least another hour of good productivity in front of me tonight. I've got a test that I want to study for and a little work out. Probably some planning too.

I do wonder how much of me really does belong on the blog. It's a question that I run into every once in a while. Still something I'm trying to balance I suppose.

The moral of my story? I guess the moral is thus: it was beautiful weather today. School was good, and the BO concert was very impressive. I even got a nice surprise today. It's been a good day.

And, as such, I feel an obligation of sorts to make sure that this good day does something good for the future. Today is a great opportunity to lay something up in store. So that's the plan. Let's do something good, we've got an excellent opportunity.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

John Denver is Ownage

Yeah, I'm a big big fan of John Denver tonight. Thumbs up for America's favorite folk singer.

This week has been both really up and really down. Today was an excellent day though; that's good news.

I've got some stuff to write about. It's currently outlined on some real paper upstairs. I'm really excited about that. Even if I never do end up writing it, just knowing that it's up there makes me pretty happy.

Term is almost over, that's so cool. It was really stressful this week, but I think that things are going to be ok.

So, the news:

This week has been rough for me, but it's also been good for me. It feels like I've made a lot of progress these past two or three weeks. I'm so happy about All State. I ought to write about that. I pursued a little project regarding my health, and it went really really well. Maybe I'll write about that too.

A lot of good things have been happening. This term is on the downhill slope. A few more tests left, but that's really it. We can do this.

And after that, it's only three more terms left in high school.

ACT is in what, a week? Yep, I'm gonna start studying.

Concert on Monday. Gonna be ferocious. I've got some studying to do, but I'm going to do it. I hope that things work out. I'm really excited for stout hearted men. And the suits. Wow, the suits are smooth.

Yep, still loving John Denver.

There really has been a lot of good stuff going on. There's been trouble, sure, but more good than bad I think. It's a new setting and I feel like I still need to adapt. I'm rolling with it though, and things are going to be good. There's a chance that we'll have classic frisbee friday next week, the night before the ACT for good measure. Maybe we'll do it Thursday because we don't have school friday or something. Do we have school friday? I don't even know.

Things are working out.

So, I've got this theory about life. It grew from a question that I had and that I investigated. It makes sense to me. I want to do it justice though, so I think it'll come tomorrow night.

Tonight is a good night, but I'm not sure that it's the night to write all of that good business. I think tonight is just the night to remind everybody that we're doing alright. We're gonna get through all of this. We are getting through all this. We're gonna be so unstoppable.

John Denver? Yeah, wow, good stuff.

Three songs to cheer you up:

On the wings of a dream - John Denver
I want to life - John Denver
You fill up my senses - John Denver

They make a man feel good. I say go for it. What's the worst thing that could happen?

We're gonna get through this. At least we'll be safe from bears.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Smought

Todays post is brought to you by the letter "I am having trouble starting my veteran essay."

And I still don't know the rules about those quotation marks and the period. I'm gonna have to learn that before the ACT...

So, I just spent an hour and a half playing Oregon Trail. There was some emulator online. Yeah, I made it to Oregon. The first time that's ever happened. I'm a champion.

Now I have to write that essay. Hmm...

The good news is that I'm up to 40 words. 260 left.

86 words! Ah snap!

149! That's half way!

204. 30 dollars here I don't come.

I erased some, then did more. 260.

317! and not done yet! Oh snap.

380, easy easy.

404, finished.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Before Bed

10:23, got to be a record.

So, yeah. I'm going to bed early. But before I do I've got a thought.

This is one of those cool thoughts that I've said before. It deserves a better telling than the one that I'm going to give it tonight. I shall be brief.

I'm pretty sure that not everybody sucks.

It's odd to see how bad society thinks it is. I can't help but believe that if people in general started to believe that people in general were good, people in general would start being better.

If you thought everybody else was going to go vote, wouldn't you hit the polls too?

I know there are good people out there. Everybody doesn't suck. Why do we fool ourselves into thinking so?

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Strong Back

I'm compelled to remember the quote, "Don't ask for a lighter pack; Ask for a strong back."

I always approach the end of the day wishing I had more time to do the things I'd like to do or the things I need to do. I want very badly to point the finger at homework. I want to feel victimized.

But let's face it, I'm just not doing my work as early as I ought to be. I'm not working as efficiently either.

Now I'm not saying this to complain or compel anyone to make me cookies. I wouldn't say no to cookies, but I just want to start working harder.

So I suppose that's what I'm going to start doing.

There's a time to be excellent and a time to survive.

Ok, I lied. It's always time to be excellent. All this survival stuff is indeed good, not at all over-rated. But if I'm going to go halfway, why not go one hundred percent anyways?

For perhaps the second time in my life, I'm concerned about upcoming tests. I feel betrayed. That's like wondering if my own brother is going to poison me in the middle of the night. We've been getting along great for 17 years, and now you've got to spring adult roles and All State on me.

That's it. I've just got to kick their butts. That's the only answer. That's the only thing that's going to bring me satisfaction. Gender roles? Marriage, family, and work? I don't care if what the book says is a load of tosh. Inversely, I don't care if what they say is entirely accurate...

Moral of the story? I'm coming for you, Eighth edition of Marriage and Family experience by Stron, Devault, Sayad, and Cohen. Your reign of terror is no more. I'll admit, I think I'm a lot smarter than you. Maybe not even a lot smart, maybe just a lot more enlightened. No matter. I'll play your game you rouge. And you know what? I'm going to play it for me. Not for you, and not even just to spite you. The day will be mine. Not yours. Mine.

And you know what else? I'm going to ready for All State. I'm going to confident and strong. I love to sing. Why should I let something like All State try to distract me from that? Why am I letting that get complicated?

I'm going to be ready for this. I'm going to walk in there Saturday proud and tall. I'm boldly going where I've never ever been before. I'm walking in there strong to represent me and Taylorsville and T and Kyle and Levi. I'm going to love Saturday morning, no battle.

I will be strong. It is nothing but go time.

I think, just maybe, there'll be fruit in my cereal tomorrow. And maybe I'll wake up early and ride the bike. Maybe I'll get lucky and run. Or maybe I'll get hit by a bus and make more wheelchair jokes than ever before.

But no matter what happens, I'm going to be ready for Saturday morning. The time to act has come, and act I shall.

Calc 103

So, derivatives make sense when you do the first assignment before you try to do the second one. I am now caught back up. Hooblay!

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Closer

Today I moved .5 credits closer to graduating. I was short a PE credit, but because I had run cross country two years I was able to get that to count. Score it.

I also called the people I needed to call in order to get me set to test out of computer tech. That is going to be much easier than I expected it to be.

So, checklist:
*Test out of computer tech
*Don't fail any classes

Suddenly this isn't looking so hard. I'm going to graduate. Shabam!

I also have my eagle board of review this Tuesday. I get to get and have a little meeting with the local leaders so they can make sure I really did all the things I said I did. That's the very last thing I have to do before I'm an official eagle scout.

It's surprising how that actually feels. My whole life I've been told I'd one day be an eagle. It was expected. Dad wasn't going to let me drive until I got it. That fell through once I had early morning practice during the summer, but still, it was a fine idea.

I got a little tired of scouts halfway through my career with them. It didn't seem to have any value to me. I wasn't learning much.

I think I was so tired and stagnant because I was isolated. A few years ago the demographics changed such that we had an influx of 12 year old scouts flood into the program.

All the sudden I wasn't lonely, I was big. These little 12 year olds had never seen anything like me. I was tall and had an attention span. I was new.

And so I sorta became a pseudo leader to them. I later became an actual leader to them. Junior Assistant scout master, oh snap.

That year or so was the important year of scouting for me. It's where I really learned and grew like crazy. I learned other times too, but this was leaps and bounds.

And why? Because I was doing two things at once. It's very difficult to ever only do one good thing. I've got a pretty firm belief that in order to do one good thing we've got to do two.

I was helping the new guys. They learned from me. By doing that I was learning a ton myself, becoming a better person and leader. I couldn't have done one without the other.

That's what I've been thinking about lately. How we're all so very connected. How we can't help ourselves without helping each other. We're so connected that the best way for us to lift ourselves is to lift someone else and wait for the cycle to reach back to us. It's a good system.

Most good things do more than one thing. Most good things do three or four. It's hard not to feel good about a system like that.