Monday, April 02, 2007


I can't make it to prom. This is mildly upsetting.

So, what's the solution? I'm going to be out of the state, there's no way I can get to prom. So, I'm gonna host a pseudo prom in my back yard. Maybe it'll be in Sharpe's back yard. The concept is the same.

Music: Supplied by me. I'll DJ it, so we know it'll be good. It'll be like a region dance, but better.

Venue: Outdoors. Under the moon light. It's not half as hot and sweaty, and it's just a cool environment.

People: Not dirtbags. It's not a school dance. You're not going to have people making out or making babies. It'll be smaller too. It'll be sorta classy almost. It'll be cool.

Economy: Not expensive. Will it cost you anything to come to the pseudo-prom? No dice. This will be a free event.

Get a new dress: Nope. This will be pseudo formal, but you aren't going to have to rent a tux or get a dress or do the whole flower thing. If you want a limo, I'll pick you up in the minivan. It has limo seating anyways.

Date before: You better believe it. It's pseudo prom, I'm gonna make this the best date I've ever been on. That means a date before hand. It's not going to be too expensive, but it's not gonna be lame at all. I'll plan it out, it'll be smooth. I don't wanna ruin any plans or anything, but I've got some good ones kicking around. Depending on how many people are going to come to this pseudo prom deal, it could be just a cool group date, or maybe we'd all have to split up and do littler group dates. I'm personally a fan of the littler group dates anyways. I find that double or triple dates are cooler than an octuple date. It'll be primo.

Pictures: Yes. For free. I'll borrow my brother Michael's good camera, set up a nice sheet, and take pictures. Print them off on nice glossy paper that's either been donated or purchased on the black market. For a few extra dollars I might even print your picture on a T-shirt. My Costa Rican brother suggests I take the pictures in front of a quality green screen, so I can just impose whatever background behind you that I want to. It's a possibility.


So why have the pseudo-prom? Three Reasons:

I can't make it to prom. But I want to do a date like that anyways. This will substitute.

Have a prom by my rules. I'm not content with school dances, there are things that need some changing. Therefore, I am taking it into my own hands and changing it. Not expensive, not crappy music. Not waiting in line for a million days to get pictures. To have a good prom, for cheap.

And finally, to prove that it's possible. For as long as I can remember, man has talked about holding his own pseudo-prom. It has been one of his highest aspirations since the first man entered the first high school. I want to finally fulfill the dream. I've always wanted to have my own dance, I've always wanted to DJ it. I've always wanted to have a dance outside. My brothers wanted to do this, their friends wanted to do this. I bet my dad wanted to do this. I have got to make it happen. Because if I don't pull it off, then who will? This is my destiny.

The dance would be guys choice. Difficult asking and answering would be outlawed. Creative asking is approved, but whoever is doing the asking must be there in person when the askee is asked. No anonymity.

Pseudo-Prom. For me, and for you. This is what I want a dance to be like. I'm going to make it happen. As a proof of concept, and as an enjoyable evening for everybody involved.

It'll take a lot of work, and I'll need some help. But it's not impossible, and that means I'm going to do it. This is one thing I vow to do. I'm the last brother. I've got to do it. For me, for my brothers.

It's happening. Believe in it.


Meliss said...

Marvelous idea! One of the best I have ever heard. Go for it! Do it! You know you want to!

Kortney said...

I agree with Melissa on this one