Monday, July 16, 2007

Sunday, July 15th

Blogging has changed a little bit for me lately. There is much less of a drive to post working within me these days. I am not overly concerned about it tonight, because things seem to make a lot of sense tonight.

See, in the past I've had some really strong feelings about blogging. I liked to think that it was somewhat of my duty to blog, and that by blogging I was making the world a better place.

Now whether or not other people believe that isn't the argument here. That's the way that I felt, in fact, it might still be the way I feel. I am proud of the things that I have accomplished with this blog. It's been a great tool for me, and if along the way it helped just one person have a better day or do something along those lines, it's served its purpose.

I have certain things that I want to accomplish with my life. One of the big things that I want to do is help people. More specifically, I want to help individuals. I don't like when people write like this, but it's an important factor in my life.

Which brings us back to the blog. Did it ever do that? One could argue. I believe that it did, and that makes me very happy. That's not the exclusive reason why I did the things that I did, but I'm glad of it.

Many of you at this point might be wondering why I'm writing this. This is not a farewell post. It's more of an explanation and exploration post.

I think there may be a shift in my life coming. A transition from the blog being a very important part of how I communicate with the world to more personal, individual communication. This is not a prediction or foreshadow or anything of the sort, I'm just saying that it might happen. I sort of see it happening already, but we'll see.

That'd definitely mean changes for me and my current style. I absolutely love talking to people. A few nights ago me and Nick got to have a really good talk. I'm really glad that we got to have it, it was good for me and him both. I love talks like that, and I think that they're important for everybody. I do believe that more of those are in order. One will have to work on that.

This blog, at times, has been sort of like an imaginary friend to me. If I'm upset or particularly excited about it I can come and write and explain things. It's a way to communicate feelings with what feels like an audience. Whether or not there truly is an audience is never entirely determined until later. But one can communicate the important feelings of the day to the ever faithful 'create post' window.

There is much that I've thought about today. I've had some really good discussions with my mom and dad and Michael. A lot about the future, a lot about how I want to live my life right now and in the future as well. And therefore there's a lot that I could write here. I could talk a lot about soda pop and water and compost heaps and all that. About how I think you should live your life. About how I want to live my life. What I want to study, what I want to do. The differences between my situation and my brothers. All important things to me right now.

But I feel good enough that I don't think that this is the place for all that right now. I think that there'll be a time for it. A season, if you will. I do love the idea of seasons.

There's a lot out there. Tonight is an excellent night because I feel calm and open-eyed. I want to go for a walk, but it's 1 AM. Feels earlier though.

I think we're going to be alright. The future looks amazing. There's a lot of brightness out there. There's a lot of good stuff being lined up for us. Opportunities await. There's a lot that we can accomplish, a lot of good that we can do for people.

I often wonder about good. Does doing good do any good if it doesn't last?

There's a lot of good that we can do. And it will last. And it is important. And even if it's not a permanent solution, fixing something for a moment is good. Making someone smile, just for a minute, is important. I hope that this comes off right. It's not my usual style. I don't want to sound like I think I've got this figured out, because I don't. But I think it's what I want to say tonight.

Good. I want to do good. And I want things to be good. I want to be a more helpful person. I want to influence more people's lives for good. How am I going to do that?

I've got some ideas. Normally I'd write a list here. I don't necessarily feel like a list here. But I've got some ideas. And I'ma work with them.

Just know, if you ever need something, I'm here. I'm ready to talk. Give me a call, tell me and we'll go take a walk on the parkway. Man or woman, Nick or Kyle. I want to be there if somebody needs it, so here and there I am.

We're gonna be alright friends. The future looks astoundingly bright.

1 comment:

Nathan said...

We all wonder if our blogs actually help people (or at least, I do :-P). I speak for all of us when I say yours definitely has. There have been many times when I've logged on and found an update from you, and it's been just what I needed. Heck, I probably wouldn't have my leg hair right now without it. ;-)

I'm excited to see where things go with this. The future does look good; see ya there, and keep up the good work.