Saturday, February 18, 2006

Region Dance IV Life

That's a roman numeral, not an I.V..... get it? ha.

Now that we're all on the same page, I just got back from ther region dance, and it was kicks and giggles. I had a way good time, even though my boys bailed on me. I didn't get to dance with everybody that I wanted to, but that's all good. It was still awesome fun. I got to bust out my mad white-boy dance skills, and they were definitely a sight to behold. Good times, good times.

So, last night there was a scout camp in my backyard. My dad is the scoutmaster for the ward, and since we didn't wanna go anywhere for this month's camp, we chilled in the backyard. Now, this sounds pretty fun, until you realize that even though I've got a comfy and warm bed no more than 60 feet away, I'm outside, trying to sleep in a 15 degree tent with 4 twelve year olds and billy. It was so cold that when we 'woke up' there was frost on the inside walls of the tent.

Anyways, that was an adventure, but I don't want to complain too much. Suffice it to say that I was glad to have it over.

There is one story that must be told though. This is not me complaining, this is just grade A entertainment. The names in the story have been changed to protect the innocent, enjoy.

Months and months ago, we had yet another campout in my backyard. We tend to do those alot if you can't tell. Well, it was getting sort of late, and we were playing nightgames or something. I ran inside to get something, and when I come out all the little kids are giggling and screaming like little girls. Apparently 'dingus' (name has been changed) was climbing in the tree, slipped, and had kicked a HUGE mushroom out of the dead part of the tree. Mushrooms always grow in the tree, but this was bigger than I had ever seen. It was honestly the biggest mushroom ever. There has never been, nor ever will be, a bigger mushroom.

So, while I'm inside they kicked it up on to the porch. So, I walk out to their giggling, and am nearly consumed by this mushroom. Thinking fast, I put it in a bucket. So, now we've got a mushroom in a bucket that 'Dingus' affectionately calls "My mushroom".

I put the bucket right underneath our rain gutter, so all the rain from the roof runs in to it. I'm not sure why I did that, but I thought it'd be fun. So, the next time it rains, I come outside, and there's a fun giant mushroom floating in this bucket. I thought that was pretty cool, but less than spectacular. Frankly, I forgot about it.

A couple weeks later I come out, and remember it, and look at it. It's still there, but it's changing colors. It maintained most of it's shape still, but it just turned a little black. It varied between floating at the top, and sinking to the bottom, it was sort of nifty. It was my own little science experiment.

So, then winter comes along, and it freezes. That's sort of cool, I go look at it. Then it thaws, and freezes again. The mushroom remains in one piece, and looks all fun frozen in there.

Skip ahead 2 months, and you reach yesterday night. The bucket was so frozen, you couldn't even see the mushroom. 'Dingus' asks me if it's still in there, and I say yes. So, the intelligent lad goes and gets a hammer, and hits the top of the ice, trying to break it. I tell him not to do that. I say: "Dingus, don't do that." So, 'Dingus' stops.

This morning, while we're trying to clean up the tent and put it away, 'Dingus' wanders off. We figure he just doesn't want to help. So, smart lad runs over to the bucket, and gets another hammer. See, the first time he hit it he hit it with the girly hammer. This time, he had the mini-sledge.

After a few fruitless attempts to break through the top of the ice (mind you, it was several inches thick) he tips the bucket over, the breach it from the bottom.

Now, here's a big red flag for you. What does water do when it freezes? Oh right, it gets bigger. What happens when the water at the top freezes before the water at the bottom? Oh right, it makes a barrier, so the water at the bottom can't expand as much when it freezes. Last night it was somewhere around 15 degrees, alot of that bucket was frozen.

So, Dingus smacks the bottom of the bucket with the hammer.


Cold plastic, with highly pressurized mushroom water inside of it + hammer.


This terrible water just spews out all over the kid. The mushroom has been stewing in there for 4 months. It didn't smell good when it went in there, and it definitely doesn't smell good now. It got all over the kid, and it wasn't just like "Haha, water." It was "Haha, that stuff has chunks in it!"

Dingus proceeds to go inside, and throw up.

Good game dingus.

This just goes to show you children, don't hit stuff with hammers. Especially when everybody tells you not to hit that particular thing.

Honestly. I never knew why I kept that mushroom in the bucket. Today I learned. He got everything he deserved. That mushroom has served mankind well.

We salute you Old Mushy. You've rendered a great service to the world. Not only have you taught a valuable lesson about water expanding, you've made a 12 year old hurl. I've never been so proud of fungus.

good game Dingus.


Anonymous said...

Hahaha...that's a funny story.

Nick said...

Sweet mushroom action. Sorry about the bailing, but I had some cool stuff to do (watch TV and play video games). So yeah. I hate winter.