Wednesday, September 20, 2006

(8) 'cause tonight's the night the world begins again (8)

I have so much to say, and it's finally ready to come out.

I've had this much to say for a long time now, but things have been in the way. I've either been too busy or too tired of everything to write. Tonight that's changed.

Yes, I've got homework. Yeah, I'm a little tired. But it's been long enough, this is taking priority over homework. Up yours Harward.

I want to do great things. The trouble is, stuff keeps getting in the way. I must go to scouts. I shall be back in about an hour to write like I've never written before. This one's gonna be huge. I could make an analogy here that kyle would really like, but I shant. But I can just feel it, this is gonna be big. But for now I'm off. Whoosh.

And I'm back, an hour and 40 minutes later. That was an adventure.

But really. On to business. No introductions, no excuses or explanations. It's just time to share.

I wonder what life would be like on the other side of the fence. The past long while I've been thinking a little bit about it here and there, but recently I'm wondering about it alot. I've had a few conversations with people that have made me think a little bit more. Here's the real question.

Would I be able to better pursue my goals if I didn't run cross country?

It's something that I've always wanted to be able to ask, but have never had the courage. It's now a viable option. Let me explain why.

I love to run, and I know that it's good for me. Relative to the rest of the team, I'm a decent runner. I'm not spectacular, but I'm decent. Cross Country has done wonders for my health, and I know it's made me a better person. The only reason that the question of whether or not I want to pursue it further is that it really only benefits me. I'm made better by running. It's about me. To a small extent you could say that the team is benefited, and that the school is benefited. But all in all, I'm making myself stronger and better.

That's fine and dandy, but I wonder if I couldn't do more good focusing on other things to help people that aren't named Thatcher. What if instead of running every day, I helped people with homework? What if I commandeered Farr's room and helped people understand the stuff they forgot from math last year? What if I helped people actually get it? What if I helped the Ultimate club do really great things? What if I helped people get in shape through Ultimate, make friends through Ultimate, be happier through Ultimate? What if instead of running every day, I helped other people every day?

That's where the real question comes. I know that I could help people with math. I believe that my natural gifts aren't in the department of distance running, but rather in the department of bubble sheets and piece-wise functions. Why not harness natural talent into helping other people? Why tredge away at something I'm not exactly good at simply for myself?

I know that cross country is good. But I think I could really do some good in the world if I focused on some other things. I know that I could still run, I'd run alot with Ultimate, and I'd go on distance runs and whatnot just for kicks. I know that I'd lose the edge that I've got. My mile time would go down substantially. It'd be almost 100% guaranteed that if I quit now, I'll never be in this good of shape again.

Maybe that's a worthy trade off though.

I'll have to talk to coach about it. I'll have to talk to my team about it.

Maybe I'm just barking at the wind. Maybe I could do all this stuff in addition to cross country. Once the season is over it's going to be a long time until we start having meets again, so that will free up a little bit of time. Next semester I don't have athletics. That means that I'll have even less time. Hmm.

So that's the big dilema right now. Giving up running with the teams would be really hard for me to do. I'd definitely finish out the CC season, but once that's through with I might just call game and go pursue making the world a better place. It'll take some testing of the waters. Will there really be people there for me to help? I know there are people that need a little bit of help, but would they come? How would it all work? It's a big question that will take a while to figure out.

But that's how things are now. That's what I'm going to be wrestling with until the cross country season is over. What do you guys think? I really need some input here. I appreciate you guys always reading this. I figure you know me pretty well by now. So, I'd really love all the advice you've got. All of you. Help me out here. Even if you've never commented before, tell me what you think. It'd help alot.

In the end it'll come down to my decision. Is it going to be Ultimate and helping people, or will it be indoor track?

So, tell me what you think.

Onwards. To less life-altering topics.

I really really really like the song Better Days - The Goo Goo Dolls. It's totally steamrolled me this week. I keep searching for it on the radio, and eventually here it. It takes over me, it's so deep and awesome and good sounding. Maybe it reflects the current status, I'm not sure. I really really want that song.

I want to be a pirate more than I ever have, just for that one song. I don't like piracy too much. I won't condemn it, it has its merits. I won't say I've never done it, and I won't say I don't use some stuff that has been pirated. I can't really justify it. But, I'm trying to do the right thing here, trying to not do something just cause I want to. Sure I really really really want that song. But I don't need it to live. So I'm not gonna pirate it. But really now. I really want that song, I'm loving it. Go find it and listen to it, it's just perfect.

I have really been enjoying this weather. I love it when the weather is sad outside. I don't know why, I just do. I love being inside. I'm always secretly dissappointed when the sun comes out after a storm. I just love storms.

I swear I had more to talk about.

We've had 129 people sign up for Ultimate. only about 95 of those gave us email addresses. Under liberal estimates, that means that at best we'll have 40 or so people actually show up. That's looking mighty decent if you ask me. Things are going to be good with the club. I'm going to rely on the other leaders a ton. This is not going to be a one pony show. We're going to be a raging team of leadership animals.

And let's not even get into how good at frisbee we're going to get. Honestly. we could become so raging. We could go to tournaments. We could have our own tournaments. With a genuine A team, that's the real dream.

-long and dreamy sigh-

I'd love to play a crazy intense game. A game for keeps. Spirit of the game through the wazoo, but competition at its finest. One winner, one loser. First to 15. Outrun, outjump, outcatch. The real test. /long dreamy sigh.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't actually dream about Ultimate. I'll admit it, I do.

In other, groundshaking news:

Remember a while ago I decided I wasn't going to be a bitter old man anymore? Well, I think things are actually starting to work! Get this

So, the other day, I was getting ready to leave an unidentified place at an unidentified time. As I started to walk away, I thought to myself: "You should go say goodbye. Go say goodbye and give her a smile. Cause if you do she'll have to think about you just a little bit longer, and that's always a good thing. Go for it."

That's what my brain said. My legs told me to keep walking, and I definitely kept walking. But that's not the point here. The point is that my subconscious is actually putting forth effort in the girl department. This hasn't happened for a very long time. I've been a bitter old man, that's all there is to it.

Personally, I'm very excited about this fact. I'm not smooth, we know that. I've got about one in a million chance to actually impress this girl. But you know what? I like those odds.

Hmm, reading through some old posts. One whole year ago I laid down a plan to get Ultimate as a real high school sport. It was a 6 step process. So far, we're up to step 3 without even knowing it. Score it! Funny how that works. How the plan has remained basically the same throughout it all, even though I forgot I had an official plan. I like it though. There was much less support a year ago for the cause of Ultimate. All the sudden things are taking off though. Ladies and gentlemen, it's go time.

Been thinking a bit today. I don't know what I cherish most. Is it my family, my friends, my what? I don't know, I'll have to think about that one.

Ultimate meeting this Friday, right after school. Probably in the career center, maybe somewhere else though. I'll let you know. Bring your forms. We'll have a very short business meeting, and then cover some basic frisbee skills. After that we'll prolly play a few pickup games just for fun. Score it.

I'm not betraying my roots am I? What happens when Parker wants to play Ultimate at bennion elementary again? What happens when Brad and Andrew get home and want to play with their homeboys? Will there be too many of us? Will I defile Bennion Elementary with too many feet? I sure hope not.

Sometimes you just gotta question yourself though, keeps ya healthy.

I have a plan to build a base on the moon.

Yeah. like, for reals. See, here's the trouble.

Any time I read history dealing with colonization and exploration and all that stuff, I really want to do it. I always think that I could do that stuff, that it's for me. Unfortunately, most everything has been explored. Rats. No colonization for me. Yet.

That's where the moon comes in. It's the next step. What's the value in going to the moon? I have no idea. Right now it seems almost pointless. But, it'll probably get done eventually. I'm sure my idea isn't a new one. Chances are someone else has already blogged about it. Well, sucks to be them. I'm writing about it tomorrow I think. Maybe I'll spice it up a little bit. The main concept is snail mail, just so you know. According to what I'm thinking, a very very rich company could probably pull it off if they were extremely lucky. Hmm. Hmm indeed.

Is kyle going to be a dating stallion? I sure hope he is. I'd like to go on a ton of dates. Just cheap and fun stuff. Twins won't go with me. Maybe kyle will, that'd be pimp tastic. I've got a ton of cool date ideas that nobody likes but me. Maybe the girls will like them though. I really do want to go to the zoo someday on a date. If you won't come with me, well, I'll just take my frisbee.

English class: still giving me a little bit of grief. But, i've come to a conclusion. I'm going to be the very best butthead this guy has ever seen. I'm going to write every paper, and I'm going to do a good job on it. I'm going to get in to the arguments, I'm going to be all over everything. I will be the best student in the class. But I'm going to be a butthead while doing it.

Because really, there's been enough lameness going around. There's been enough timidity. No more. I'm going to be brave. I'm going to stick my neck out there and say it whether he likes it or not. I'm going to bring my A game. When I disagree, I'm going to stand up and say it, and so help the guy that gets in my way. I'm going to write satire, I'm going to write like a brilliant man with something to say. Am I a brilliant man with something to say? Nah, but I'm sure going to write like one. But I'm not going to play into his game.

Wait, maybe I am. I don't care. But whatever it is, I'm going to come out of this a better writer. I'm going to get in there and show everybody who's boss. I'm not going to be polite while doing it though. No more holding back. Harward is getting the A game, simply because I want to show him up. I want to show the whole class up. I'm going to do the very best I can, just to be a butthead. It's gonna be nasty.

I'm not sure that that made any sense. But it makes sense in my head. The next paper that i have to write is definitely going to be satire. It's not supposed to be, but it's going to be. Take that.

Yeah, there's more I thought about writing earlier. But I didn't take notes when the ideas came, so now we're out. I guess it's time to go update the Alliance and then do my homework. It's 11:24, w00t. It's gonna be a pseudo late night, but I'm alright with that. Go ninja go.

Remember to be nicer to everybody guys. I guess I sorta forgot that today. I got to try harder.

Remember to leave me a comment regarding what I ought to do with the rest of my life. I'm at the crossroads here. You guys gotta fill me in on how you feel about cross country vs. math tutoring. Aight, g'night friends, thanks for reading.


Courtney said...

hey thatcher. why can't you tutor and run? i think both would be cool. i'll have to check out that song, it sounds like a good one. i was nice today! at least i tried to be...then i went to the JV football game for a bit...then i wasn't nice anymore. :D lol.

Anonymous said...

hey if you went to the zoo with me i could bore you with all the useless animal facts and names! maybe the frisbee would be a more exciting date. . .
oh yeah i'm glad the Tville Ultimate team is oming together for you!

Anonymous said...

coming together, i should say not 'oming'