Friday, December 08, 2006


1:17 AM - MJ Returns

Do any of you remember my world history papers from last year? They all took an hilarious route to get their point across. Sarcasm was abundant, so was royal incest. Jokes about Otto's stupid name appeared more often than once. I called Alexander the Great the grandfather of extreme skiing, honestly.

One wonders why my papers always showed up on the due-date dripping with the aforementioned sarcasm. I have a simple explanation; it was the only way to survive.

You had to be able to laugh at history in order to stay sane. You had to laugh at yourself, spending three hours working on this assignment. It was the only way, your only chance at getting out of there alive.

I haven't had to revert to this strategy for some time now, I've been lucky. Most of my assignments this year have been doable and even a little enjoyable. My thoughts come out free of satire and verbal irony, my teachers are overjoyed.

It's 1 AM, and this English essay is testing the limits. The brittle glass with the little post-it note that says "break glass in case of emergency" is about to be smacked with a golf club. I'm about this [_] close to reverting to the sarcasm. Ahhh! It's going to be a long, long night.

"Even though these characters may seem boring, independent research by Chuck Norris indicates that most enjoy a 50 percent success rate with teaching students."

1:33 - went to get a drink

1:35 - I've got a shin-splint going on in my right leg. Hmmm, maybe I shouldn't have stood on just one leg for kicks and giggles today. Oww oww oww.

1:36 - I had a 17 dollar meal tonight. You know what's the worst part about it? It wasn't 4.25 times better than my favorite 4 dollar meal from La Frontera. Hmm.

1:40 - whoohoo, 2 and a half paragraphs done. 4 left. Alpine Skiing!

1:41 - bathroom break.

1:53 - maybe I should stop looking at halo 3 screen shots and get back to writing this essay....

1:54 - what if I sluff chemistry tomorrow morning and finish it then? tempting, truly tempting.

1:58 - scatter plots with red markers on the back of your first draft are awfully fun to make. Distracting too.

1:59 - Garbage Can stood up on the really tall hill. He looked around. His hairy frame was quite alone on the peak, so he began to cry. Ma-ah, Ma-ah, what a poor fellow am I.

2:06 - If a girl leaves Chicago at 3 AM heading for Salt Lake City traveling at 190 mph, how long until Austin writes a song for her? That Austin, what a stud.

2:07 - play with markers.

2:09 - You are what you think. Then how come all those people that run around all day singing the "I like chicken I like liver meow mix meow mix please deliver" song aren't cat food yet?

2:12 - Ulterior

2:17 - There's a fandango loose in the building.

2:!8 - I'm going to brush mine teeth.

2:21 - mmm, toothpaste.

2:21 again - Ok, it's seriously time to get my head in the game. /squeaks shoes on hardwood floor.

2:22 - squeak squeak dribble dribble squeak swish dribble dribble dribble squeak swish swish squeak dribble squeak squeak dribble......swish.

2:28 - good news, only three paragraph's left. I am the model of a very modern general. Or something like that.

2:34 - (8) we know that it's probably maaaaaaaaaagiiiiiiiiiiiic. (8) (Rainbow Connection - Kermit the Frog)

2:40 - why are there so many songs about rainbows, and what's on the other side? Rainbows are visions, but only illusions, and rainbows have nothing to hide. So we've been told and some choose to believe it, I know they're wrong, wait and see. Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers, and me.

who said that every wish, would be heard and answered, when wished up the morning star? Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it. Look what it's done so far. What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing, what do we think we might see? Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers, and me.

All of us under its spell, we know that it's probably maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagiiiiiiic.

Have you been half asleep, and have you heard voices? I've heard them calling my name. Is this the sweet sound, that calls the young sailors? the voice might be one and the same.

I've heard it too many times to ignore it, it's something that I'm s'posed to be.

someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers, and me.

La da da deee da da dooo, la da da da da de da doooooooooooooo.

2:53 - To be 100 percent honest, I am building my essay around that song. It's gonna be good, I'm really excited.

2:59 AM - One minute to three. I'm surprisingly awake. And surprisingly not done with my essay. P'oh.

3:01 AM - who am I kidding? I need dragon zord power.

3:10 AM - Just redid the first two paragraphs to incorporate the rainbow connection. I think this is actually going to work, rahahaha.

3:32 AM - wow, I've been crusing. Look at me go.

3:43 AM - yeah, that's right, I'm working on my works cited page. w00t.

4:01 - I'm done. Printing it, going to bed. Have a nice night all.


Combat Kyle said...

Distractablog is right. Had you not written this post, you would have finished your essay like....a few minutes sooner :D But more if you had a hand cramp and couldn't type the post fast *-) Yeah, that was fun.....


M-smash said...

dragon zord power.

NERD. That's why you're not on the team.


I'm just kidding buddy.

Jaron Frost said...

Haha, that was awesome! :D

Kortney said...

At least you got done... And you were still in a good mood too. Wow

Nathan said...

This distractablog thing is a good idea. I think I'll try it sometime....

Without the Rainbow song, though. ;-)

Anonymous said..., you had a short night, eh?!