Shot

Tuesday night, time for me to give it a shot. Things used to be a little different around here, what with the constant posts and whatnot. The frequency has changed, and like it or not, it feels like the content of the posts just isn't of the same variety as it used to be. Maybe it's a good thing and maybe it's not, but here I go.

I think I'm going to work out a little bit before I start writing. Put on the endorphin glasses.

I really like words that start with stro-. I don't know what it is about it. Strontium, Stromboli. I think those are the two main ones. Just something about them, who knows.

What's the news? The news is that I'm so excited for school to start. The fact is, I think my life runs a lot better when I'm in school. It's a lot more of a structured environment. There are people there, and I love that. I thrive on the atmosphere. Loads of people around, loads of work to do. There's always a sense of competition, if not with Jason than with the course work itself. There's always an opportunity to excel and do something amazing. Do awesome on that assignment, take it to a limit that nobody's taken it to before. Make that joke, make her smile. School is opportunity.

And I guess Summer is opportunity too, but not in the same fashion. School is the "Here's what you've got to work with, make it amazing" kind of opportunity. There's a set of rules, and you're allowed to flourish and do what you can in them. Summer takes those rules away. Summer simply says "Go for it" with no instruction at all.

At this stage of my life, I think I do a little better in School's structure than I do in Summer's anarchy.

School has got three square meals a day, no matter what. I always eat breakfast, and I always get a great lunch packed by Mom. I come home, and no matter what, we'll have dinner sometime.

During the summer that's not the case. I might just sleep till one, and that means I missed breakfast by a long shot. If I do eat lunch, it's usually around two. Dinner is a relaxed affair around here during the summer, and if I've got something going on in the evening it's usually rushed or delayed or missed to a degree.

School has food in predictable places, and I love that. My life is better when I eat my three square meals. I perform better on everything.

That's not the only situation where school allows something like that. It happens all the time. That's just the easiest example. Right now I feel like my life is spec'd for school. Being in the summer is like being a fish out of water. Sure, I can do alright, I'm a pretty decent land-fish, but to really see me fly, well, that takes a school year.

So what does this next year really have in store for me? What do I expect out of it? To be honest, there's a lot that I just don't know. There are several awesome directions that my life is going to be moving in, all seemingly different.

First off is madrigals, because it's the best publicized. I'm surprised that I'm there, still. I am, without a doubt, the 26th madrigal. I am the worst one. There's no question about that. Nobody will deny it, and by all means nobody should try to deny it. I am fully aware that I am the worst madrigal.

Personally, I kinda like the title...

Because really, if you're going to be anything, you might as well have a decent title to go with it, right?

That puts me in an interesting position. It means that what I do has a direct effect on the rest of the group. The old adage "the chain is only as strong as its weakest link" can really apply here. If that really is the case, that means that when I get better, the whole group gets better too!

That's cool and all, and I am going to do my best. That's really what I'm excited about. I'm going to get so much better, it's gonna be insane. When I walk out of there I'm going to be confident in my singing ability. How cool will that be? I'll be like, bam, church choir here I come.

And really, I couldn't ask for better guys to be singing with. The other Bass two's, Kyle and Levi, c'mon! That's unstoppable right there! The only thing one could even think to ask for to make it better would be James. It's just not the same without him. It would have been a long shot, and he didn't really wanna do it. He'll be missed, but the show must go on. I'm really glad that it's Levi and Kyle though. Being the 26th madrigal, I'm going to be needing a lot of help. I'm glad that it can be from those guys. I'm way comfortable with them, we've been through a lot together. When I say "Hey, I need help" it's gonna be coming from some of the best friends around. National Nerd champs say what?

Then we've got classes, oh how I'm excited for classes. I gotta say, I wish things could be a little different, but I'll take what I'm handed. AP English is going to be pretty cool I'm thinking. I'll be in there with a lot of excellent people, and I really hope that I get the chance to shine. English classes are always like that. They're sort of what you make of them. I definitely found that in my Junior English class. No matter what Parrish throws at us, I'm going to take it and make it amazing. Why? Cause that's how I roll.

"You can't roll, you're a square!"

I'm excited for Calculus. It'll be challenging, but I'm excited to learn new stuff. Just like everything else that's awesome, I've got good people backing me up in there. I've got buddies in Calc, and having buddies is just the coolest. We're all pretty comfortable with Kaelin, so I expect good things to happen.

Adult roles, it's just something that I've got to swallow. I've heard it's a good class. Either way, it gives me an opportunity to be with a group of kids that I'm probably not usually with. As stated above, I'm going to make it excellent, no matter what happens. If I'm gonna have to take it, I'm gonna take it hard.

I've got an open PE class. I might take social dance, I might try to waive it and get into something else. I was going to take Athletics, but my life is moving in a different direction now, and I'm down with that.

I hope that my classes really teach me something this year. I know that Junior year, man, I learned so much. It was amazing. I honestly felt enriched. I felt like everything that I'd learned and grown to be through my classes made me a better person. From an economic standpoint, I felt that my personal worth in dollars went through the roof because of Junior year. I'm trained to do things I wasn't trained to do before, I've got a wicked sick bunch of background knowledge that wasn't there prior to the AP ownage. I hope that I can get that same effect from Senior year. My schedule isn't nearly as rigorous as Junior's was, and I'm a little disappointed about that. It's the choice that I've made though, and I'm alright with it. I'm going to press on with it and make the very best of it, no matter what happens.

In short, I'm excited about classes because they're an opportunity to excel. That's what I love to do. Even if I don't really do it, I love to try. I love to take the challenge and push it. Not always in the direction of "Oh, my paper is so much better than yours". I mean, that's nice if I can and all, but I really love to push it in the other direction. In the "Nobody has ever tried something that bold before" direction. Even if it fails, that's one thing that I really want to do my senior year. More than anything else Senior year, I want to be bold.

"Just Bold me..."

"I just wanted to be Beld."

Haha, get it? Instead of hold me, bold me. Ha!

The third direction that my life will be pulled in might just be the most important. Seminary council is amazing. It's not something that I run around talking about too much, just by the nature of it all, but I love it. It's unlike anything I've really done before, it's amazing. For the first time in a really long time I don't feel like I'm up to the job, and yet I know that I am. It's a challenge, but more than that it's just plain out growth. The only real words for it is that it's amazing. I'm so excited about it all. It's going to be excellent.

So what's the news? The truth is that things have got you up, and things have got you down. There's a past, present, and future all smacking together right now. That was happening yesterday, and it's going to be happening tomorrow too. Maybe the past is great, maybe the future has an elephant in it. All that is insanely important.

But at the same time, it's not the most important thing. What is the most important thing? I think there's a good chance it's what you do. The choices that you make. The choices that you made in the past have got you where you are now. Whether you like that or not, it is your responsibility to make choices today that will help you get where you want to go. If you are unhappy with where you are today, make a choice and begin to change where you are. I really believe that the true measure isn't really where you are, but where you're headed. If you're on the top of the world headed down, well, you might need to start making different choices. If you're in the lowest gutter, but you're making choices to fix the problem, you're doing your job, you're winning today.

Will you be winning tomorrow, or winning in a week? That's up to you tomorrow and in a week.

Schools coming, and I'm going to hit it running. This is my last shot at high school. This is my last dance with the environment I'm spec'd for. I'm going to make it a good one. Bold, out of the box.

What does that mean for you? It depends on who you are and how you want to take it. I want to make people smile and help them out. I really want to do a little tutoring next year. I'm free after school, maybe it'll actually happen. I'd love that, I really would. Get me a little classroom, maybe Farr would let me use hers, or maybe I could stage it from any other place, but just plain out tutoring. Don't get physics? Bam, maybe I can help.

I'm going to try to make people smile. I really feel like that's important. You can help people, but at the end of the day people are responsible for their own choices. Like we talked about, that's what's important. What I do to help might not last forever.

But I get the feeling that if I can make people smile, those people are gonna be a little more inclined to make good choices for themselves. Nobody wants to dig themselves out of a hole if they're sad all the time. Maybe if we all help each other smile, we can all move a little closer to being the people that we want to be.

There's ups and downs. Am I gonna get a job during the school year? What's going to happen to the blog and to the alliance? What form will Ultimate take?

I don't know yet. No matter what happens, I want things to be good. Summer is wrapping up. Three weeks remaining, three weeks. I've got a few things I need to pull off before school starts. Life is on the up and up. There's a good breeze blowing us towards the future. Are we gonna take it?

You better believe I am. Come a long for the ride, at least we'll be safe from bears.