Best Shot

"I can't believe she turned me down...."



Rahaha, so there you have a little more paint art. It does in fact reflect upon the intense anxiety that is currently sweeping the nation. This whole bit is spooky. I'm not smooth. Let's get that taken care of right now. I have no idea how to go about all this bidness. I got no ideas. Nothing.

The trouble is, as soon as anyone mentions who they're planning to ask, I'm filled with feelings of "Duh, you loser, you should have thought of that first."

That happened twice today. I'm just not quick on my feet I guess.

Just so you know, if any of you start analyzing this post I'm going to throw a brick through your window. You can read it for meaning I guess, try to find out what I'm really trying to say. But if I even hear the words "critical reading" I'm gonna blow. I don't care about structure. I don't care whether this is impressionistic or didactic. I don't even know what pendactic means, and I don't want to know. I don't care about the way that I'm using or misusing my pronouns. No usage errors, no agreeing antecedents. I don't care. The minute you try to go literary on me, you're through. It's like talking to a piece of cardboard with french all over it. It doesn't leave a pleasant taste in your mouth, and 80% of the stuff it's trying to communicate with you goes over your head. Not beacuse your head is too low, but because it's just not worth catching.

In short: I don't like English anymore.

However, there is some good news on the horizon. The Alliance is coming along rather nicely. Still working on the graphical end of stuff, but it's looking pretty fun. I'm terribly terribly slow at it. I spent forever on it today, but I'm happy with how it turned out. I was doing the sidebar links and crud today. These aren't your usual lame text links. Oh no, these are raging. You'll see them on or before Friday, sweet.

There's big potential there. The best part is, it's actually happening. Most things that have big potential don't happen. But this can really work. This is working, we're rolling with it. The frame is almost done, and now we've just got to fill it with content. It's going to be so insanely pimp.

There is something very satisfying about popping zits. It's a great feeling. One cannot deny how really really good it feels. I'm always so excited when I succeed in popping one, it makes me feel like a winner. There are a few reasons for this, reasons that go down to the very nature of all of us as humans.

Reason number one, is that zits are enemies. There's nothing all that good about them. We know that they're bad. They come, and we're like "Dude, get out of here." They offer no real benefit to us, and they sometimes hurt and make us look funny. They're lamer than Theron and Kendal at a region dance. One of the reasons we're so happy when we defeat them is that they're 100 percent the bad guys. We tend to feel bad when we beat the little kids at basketball, knowing that they're not really bad guys. We feel bad when the robbers beat the cops. See, there's none of that with zits. They are the baddest of the bad guys. We know they deserve to get smitten, so there's no mixed feelings or second thoughts on thoroughly smiting them.

The second reason is really basic. We like to succeed at things. When you throw a piece of garbage from across the room and make it in the can, it feels great. You simply wanted to do something, tried to do it, and if you succeeded it feels wonderful. It's the same deal here. You want to pop it. When it pops, it feels good, you finished your task. Score it.

thirdly, it is just cool all around. It's all like, whoosh, it came out. And it's interesting, you want to know how it works. It's funny looking, intriguing. You just made something shoot out of your forehead. How is that not cool?

Yea verily. I'm not sure why I just wrote about that. But I felt like it, so I did.

Yeah.

Aha. It's 11:30. That means there's still time to write about that idea that I was supposed to write about weeks ago. My fellow Americans, it's go time.

~Saving the world, one trigonometric ratio at a time~

I graduate from college free of debt, and things are looking mighty fine. For the first time in my life, things are entirely up to me. I'm a little frightened, but I'm more excited about the possibilities that lie ahead. Do you know what this really means? This means that everything that happens to me from this point on is my fault. This means that I am the reason I succeed, and I'm the reason that I fail. If I win, I win for myself. Not for the school system that funneled me through. Not for my coach, not for the hoops I was made to jump through. For the first time, if I make it big, it's because of the stuff that I did.

Conversely, if I fail, I know that I fail bigtime, and can't blame it on anyone but myself. Right now I'm standing on the great threshold of my life. From here, anything is possible. Great heights, terrible lows. It's sink or swim, finally.

Am I married? I don't know, maybe. We'll leave that part out for now, nobody knows.

So anyways, I start getting things in order. I get myself a well paying job with room for advancement, and get a modest house, with a modest car. I'm living pretty cheap right now, as cheap as I can and still stay alive and happy at least. I live on, save up a little money, get a firm foothold where I'm at. I plant some trees around the yard, fix up the house on the weekends. I work on improving the fence, planting some hedges, doing some construction. I make things better around me, increase their value. Not necessarily to sell at a later date, but just because that's the way that things ought to be. If we're not constantly making the world a better place, who will?

So, things go on. I get married, have some kids, hooray. Still living cheap, still saving up money. Still planting trees. Most importantly though, I'm forging alliances. I'm getting to know the local scene. I'm trying to get into the pulse of the local business. I go to the weird meetings for investors and stuff. I go to the trade shows, I go to the state fair. Basically, I'm prowling around, searching for someone with a great idea, someone who just needs a little bit of money to get off the ground.

One day, I find them. They're perfect. They've got a great product or service that the world could really use, that I really agree with, and that's going to sell well. I invest the money. Not all of my savings, not even half of my savings. I help to get them started. If they succeed, great, I've just made some money. If not, well, we start over.

I keep doing this though, getting my hands in alot of projects. I spread the assets around. I've got money in several different companies now, local stuff, national stuff, whatever. I'm still working at that job, still moving up the ladder. The family is doing well, and all of those fruit trees that I planted are finally producing. We're bottling fruit left and right, and every once in a while me and the wife find time to go to the farmers market to get some tips and sell some stuff. We've got a big garden, but we don't have a pet dog. Hey, maybe by then I'll be willing to get a dog. Maybe we've got a dog.

Yeah, I still run, but not competitively. I still play frisbee, pseudo-competitively. We're in with the rec league. If the rec league doesn't exist wherever we're at, I make that one more of my projects. Either way, wherever I go there's going to be a league, and me and my team are going to be moderately good. Probably won't be winning too much, but we'll be contenders.

We're still not rich, and I still drive a crappy car. I'm happy with that, I love crappy cars. I'd love to be driving a hybrid. Chances are that won't happen for a long time, but I'd still love it.

I've still got money around, invested in those companies. By now some are showing great promise, and others are obviously tanking. I'm ok with that. From the looks of things, I stand to make some money soon, this is excellent. I've still been making those alliances, still been visiting the library and getting books to read. Still washing the car, building that cool treehouse. I even hosted a neighborhood party once. Yep, things are looking good in suburbia.

And then, one of our companies makes it big. We make a good profit, and then we turn around and start our own dream with it. Now I've finally got my hands on some money. It's not a ton, but it's substantial, and it's well supported. I've got secure money all over the place, money that's not going anywhere. This is new money, money that I can use to make more money.

So, just like the people that I invested in a few years ago, I start a little business. As of now, being 16, I have no idea what I'm gonna do. But it's going to start small, and offer something great. We're going to do cool stuff, and we're gonna keep on growing. We might be selling food at soccer games, we might be offering the latest in web development tools. I might be helping big companies sort their mail more efficiently. I got no idea, but we start.

Cut to the chase. 10 years later, we're entrenched. Money starts to look alright. We're not terribly terribly rich, but we've been smart with stuff. Over the years, we've bought some property around our little house, and expanded. We've now got an orchard. We've got corn, we've got some other stuff. It's nice and happy. We've got food in storage, we've got food to sell at the markets. We've got good times. The company has grown, and branched out. Just like the usual, it's never focused on one thing for too long. We started with concessions, and then we sold some yo-yos. Then came the bouncy balls, and then the cool revolutionary boomerangs. Me and my brother started doing some webcasts, started making some cool stuff online. Soon that grew up too. We started research and development on a new windmill design, on a refreshing new take on solar energy panels. Over the years we've branched out.

And, a few years later, I'm still driving a crappy car. Why? Because good cars cost lots of money, and they're not really worth it.

But, now we've got a name. Now we're known, all over the place. Now we get to what I'm really excited about. All the rest of this stuff is fun to think about, but it's not really the important part. Here's what happens next:

Now that we're known, we turn and focus on making the world a better place. Now I'm secure. Me and my family got it covered, we're set. We've got an orchard, a big swing out front, and a windmill. I've got a nice field to play frisbee on, and my wife is pretty much the cutest. Things are good, we're set.

We start production on a new line, one that we've been in for a few years now. We've been doing clothing for a while, and sales have been alright. Not great, but alright. We unviel the new line, and we call it "sohcahtoa". The actual design and stuff isn't really important, but it's new, a little different, but really cool. The best part is, it's easily recognizable. Our new logo and our certain style is very distinct. We spend alot of money advertising it, getting the word out. People know about this new sohcahtoa business.

But, along with this, we make this promise: When we sell a sohcahtoa shirt/beltbuckle/hat/gym shorts/frisbee/whatever, we're not gonna make any profit. We're going to cover the materials, the labor, the shipping and handling, all that business. After that, we're not making any money off of it.

But, of course, we're still selling these shirts for a reasonable price. They're not half off. Where does the other 50% go? It goes straight to charity.

I don't know what charity, we'll see. But we say that for every shirt, all the proceeds go to help the children in Africa, or do something or other. This creates some really cool dynamics, check this out.

First off, it gives money to the kids in Africa. That's a good thing.

Second off, it really helps the world. It's us giving back, doing good stuff. That's excellent.

Thirdly, it lets other people help. They say "Hey, I'm buying this shirt. It's a little different, new style. But it's helping the African kids, I'm going for it." So, people feel like they're helping, and they are.

Fourthly, it starts a new trend. Imagine this: You've got this cool guy who walks into school wearing this cool red shirt. It's new, it's a little different. It's got the big sohcahtoa logo on it, it looks dang good. He looks good, he looks cool. More importantly, you look at him, and you think "Oh snap, he's helping the kids in Africa. Dang that's cool."

All the sudden, you want a sohcahtoa shirt. So you get one, you buy one. Your friend likes it, and he likes helping African kids, so he gets him some shorts. Pretty soon, the Aquabats are on stage wearing sohcahtoa. U2 has sohcahtoa sunglasses. Everybody likes the new style, everybody likes helping the African kids. The market explodes, things are going great. We'd be taking it all to the bank, except that it's going to the African kids, and we're happy with that.

Because back at home, I'm secure and happy. My workers are doing good. They've got health benefits, great dental plans. We're taking care of them, helping them go to college, or if they've been to college, get their foot in the door with any of our numerous other companies and partnerships.

Gradually we grow. But we never made it big all the sudden. Sohcahtoa made us more well known, but we didn't focus the attention on us. We focused it on the African kids, on the help that everyone's giving.

It's a gradual process, a gradual idea. The concept stays the same throughout. Continuously work to make the world a little better place every day. As you do this, secure your future. Plant a tree, but make it an apple tree. Make it an apple tree so you can have apple sauce in 5 years. Apple sauce is good for you. Invest in the little companies, help them get started. Don't help the bad guys, help the good guys. Build friendships, partnerships. Play frisbee, teach others how to play. Go running, take your wife running. Fix the fence. Keep making the world a better place, and keep saving up. Keep getting your hands in the right projects.

And then, when you've got your chance, roll out the sohcahtoa line. Why do we call it sohcahtoa? cause it sounds cool, and because sohcahtoa has been helping people for years and years without ever asking anything in return. It's easy, it's recognizable, it's a statement. Sohcahtoa got me through 9th grade geometry, maybe it's time that it did the same for a poor African kid.

We roll out the T-shirts, we roll out the frisbees. We roll out the capes. Yeah, capes are coming back.

There you have it, my little dream for the future. After sohcahtoa, our alternative energy business takes off, and things look good. I decide that maybe it's time to upgrade the old place. Somewhere, I build a new house, and make it green. Not colorwise, but it's environmentally sound. It's powered by wind, solar, and maybe some other fun stuff. It's got the cool stuff, it's new. It's a nice house. I might actually buy me a nice car.

But all in all, the plan remains the same. Keep improving on what you've got, and gradually expand. Keep it simple, live cheap, operate cheap, and save up. Get secure. Eventually, we've got an empire on our hands. What am we gonna do with an empire? We're going to make the world a better place. Sohcahtoa was just the beginning.