Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Blogaday 17 of 20

Day 17. Incredibly successful! Seventeen day writing streak! Are you kidding me?

Yeah, it's day 17. There are only three days after this one. I feel good today.

Yesterday was a very good day for me. Today, likewise, has been excellent. I feel like things make sense today and yesterday. I feel like I'm getting a better idea of where I fit into the world. I feel like, after these past two days, I've got a plan. I feel like I've got my head on straight and that I'm aware of my surroundings. For the first time in a lot of weeks, I feel like I'm in control here.

It's 1:30 AM, which is later than I'd like it to be. I took a very small nap today, but nothing major. I played one game of warcraft (did great, thanks), and read a lot of entertaining stuff I didn't have to read. I wrote four English responses, as well as the book club summary. I got our agenda ready for our council meeting tomorrow morning, and I brushed my teeth twice. Today has been an effective day.

After school I had a really long talk with Mama Withers about everything. I went in to ask her about some scholarship stuff, and we had a discussion for about an hour about a variety of topics. We talked about Andrew and Brad, and then college, and then girls, and then we got onto the really big subject of school and how I fit into all that. It was really really nice to talk to her about everything, just to be able to vent my ideas to somebody who's a lot older than me but that still respects me.

I came out of that little rendezvous with a plan. It's a plan that I'm incredibly excited about.

And I expected to have more time to write tonight. I wanted to make it sound all intense, do a big build up and all that. But it's late, and I have more important things to do. We're still going to get the important parts, but not so much of the fluff.

I graduate in five months. Terrifying, really, but the sense of urgency is suddenly upon me. I will only be stuck in that building with my peers for the next half year. After that, we're gone.

And once we're gone, my chance to make a difference there will be out the window. I believe that I have already made a difference at the school. Every small action I go for makes a difference. I've smiled at people and said hi to a few folks. Inversely, I've looked mean at a few. Both of those made differences at the school.

But I've got time left to try something big, and I'm going to go for it. I am in the position I need to be in to make it happen, and I'm going to go for it. What's the worst thing that could happen?

After talking with Mama Withers, I've decided that I am going to be incredibly vocal for the next five months.

I am going to start writing a ton of letters to the editor. That's probably the smallest part of what I'm going to do, but I'm still really excited to do it.

Blogaday day 20, with any luck, will end up on the principal's desk. That's not a guarantee, but I think that if things work out the way I want them to, I'm going to be writing an essay of sorts on how I feel about the school. Stuff like what I've observed, what I think are problems, what I think we can do to fix them. I'm going to write it up all official, send it through some revisions, and have it planted.

And I understand that I have no authority. I understand that what I say has a good chance of never being read. But, at the same time, I feel that it's my responsibility to do this. I am not in a leadership position for the student body. I am in no way officially affiliated with the front office. As far as they know, I am one hundred percent drone student. As a drone, I've been through the mill. I've seen what works for me and I've seen what doesn't work for me. I am a consumer here, and I feel like I've got the right and responsibility to let the manufacturer what's been good and what's been bad. Curse you adult roles.

But I'm going to go for it. I know it's not going to be much, but it'll be something. I think that I'm going to adopt it as my new style, pure vocalization. Blogaday has done something to me. I feel like it's catapulting me towards something greater. As cool as I feel blogaday was, its purpose was not perfection, but rather its purpose was to inspire me to greater things. I feel like I've got the power now to go make a difference. I think the way that I'm going to make that difference is going to be through writing.

So I'm going to start writing letters and emails and essays. I'll post what I can here, and I'll deliver everything else. I feel like I've got a golden opportunity here to make the world a better place, and I'm running with it. If nothing happens but the front office becoming tired of seeing my name on papers and the newspaper refusing to print one more of my entries, that's going to be ok. This isn't about me really. In a large way I guess it is, but it's not entirely about me. I don't think I'm doing this for glory. I think I'm doing this because I think it's the right thing to do. I think I'm doing this because I see the opportunity, and I don't want to let it fly away. This is the stuff I've always wanted to do. I'm going to start doing it.

And that's the plan. Right now it's very broad. I only have a few specific projects. The essay for the principal, the two letters to my counselor about graduation, and a few letters to the editor. I'm going to be on the prowl for more opportunities, obviously. This is day one of the new project. I think blogaday has been the same idea I want behind my project. Writing for the betterment of the community around us.

And that's really what this is about. It goes back to the flow of information, as most things tend to do. The more information we have, the better able we are to make good choices. The more good choices we make, the better everything becomes. Maybe I have information that I can share with somebody with some power that can make a difference. Maybe that information could help us all get even more information, to make things that much better. Maybe the only information we're really looking for is how students actually feel about stuff. I'm a student, and I'm going to start volunteering that information. Nobody has ever asked me for it, but I'm tired of waiting.

So I'm going advocate on you all. It's not something I've really done before, and it will definitely stretch me. It will help with my writing, that's for sure. I don't know where this will take me or anybody else, but I'm excited to give it a shot. It's an outside project, and I really do love that.

I hope this has made sense. I hope this hasn't terrified any of you. I know that it's risky, and I know that there's a huge chance of failure. I know that I'm setting myself up for embarassment and humiliation and all that great stuff. But that's what I feel like I've got to do. It's bold, and I haven't really slept on it yet. But I feel like it's a good thing to do, so I'm going to work on doing it.

As far as the timeline goes, Thursday night will be blogaday day 20. I'm not sure if I really want to do it this way, but it would seem awful fitting if blogaday day 20 was the rough draft for my essay to the principal. If that's the case, I can write it Thursday, work on it over weekend, and have that baby planted the first week of second semester. An edition of the newspaper comes out on Thursday, and that gives me plenty of fodder for letters to the editor. I have the Micron essay that I absolutely must write this week, and that takes priority over everything else. Today was the day I work on my GPA, and tomorrow and Wednesday are the days I finish this scholarship app. If I can have that completed by wednesday like I want to, I could start this next part of my adventures on Thursday. That doesn't seem like too bad of a plan.

Throughout all of this, it's going to be incredibly important for me to remember what's important. I'm putting myself in risky territory here. I'm going to need help from everybody. If I go crazy, you're going to need to tell me. If I hit the mark, right on, I'll need some warning on that one too.

This is something that I've got to try. I know that it'll be hard to stick to it. It'll take courage and work to actually make it happen.

But in a way, I've been preparing for this for the past 12 years of my life. I might as well give it a shot. What's the worst thing that could happen?

So here I go, louder than ever. It's time that these ideas move on from the blog and in to the real world. It's one thing to think, but it's another thing entirely to change those thoughts to action. I've not done it too often before, this is going to be new. I feel like it's the logical next step though, all things considered. I hope I'll have your support on this one.

Wish me luck, this is going to be incredibly intense.

1 comment:

Nick said...

I do love change. I think you have great ideas, and I'd love to see them implemented at Taylorsville. One day, D-Hall will be renamed the Christopher J. Thatcher Memorial Hall. Hopefully before you die. That'd be awesome.

But seriously, good luck. Lately, I've been focused on improving myself. I don't really have time to worry about anything else. It's all about what I can do to get better before my auditions, before college, before... whatever. It's terrible. I'm glad that you're comfortable enough with yourself that you can go on to try to improve something outside yourself. Congratulations, you win.