Wednesday, January 25, 2006


There has been some seriously good stuff flowing in to the local water supplies during the past couple days. Perhaps it's because I've been running on very restricted amounts of sleep, maybe it's because the foot clan is out to get me, or maybe it's some sort of government plot, but it's good stuff. The peak was on monday, it was pretty ridiculously good water. Since then, things have been good as well.

In other news, I've always known that I've been a little lame. You've all heard me admit it before, but it's not really something I make a point about flaunting. Nobody likes being lame right? Well, today, I wish to flaunt that point as much as is humanly possible. I will be drawing upon experiences from the week to prove my point. This is the real way to debate. You find a topic that nobody can fight against you on, and then have fun feeling cool because you can't lose. Does the pirate flag have a skull and crossbones? Of course, I win the debate.

Example One: I'm cool cause I drive a geo.

For a brief moment today, I felt dang cool. It was during 3rd period, and I was cruising around the drivers ed range in a blue geo metro with a trashy gearshift. For a fraction of the day, I felt like I was in control. I had the power to go where I want, and I could move fast. No longer was Jameson telling us not to touch the forbidden gas pedal, we were now accelerating! That's right, I was accelerating in a metro, I didn't think it was possible either. So, I felt pretty dang cool putting around at 8 miles an hour, then trying to brake so I didn't give Jared whiplash. I was keeping that orange cone so centered in front of me that you could have used it to triangulate the position of a satellite in space. I had mad skills.

And then I got out of the car, but the euphoria didn't leave! I still felt cool! I had driven! It really happened, it wasn't some sort of dream, it was real, and I did good. A few good minutes later, reality set in as I thought about what had just happened.

"Chris, you just idled back and forth in a straight line with about 10 other cars in a parking lot while an old man talked through the radio to you. You're not cool. Most normal people can drive without fearing the gas pedal. You just taunted Jared cause you "owned" him. You're not cool, its a metro. Lamewad." -my head

Lets face it. I thought I was cool cause I idle'd in the parking lot. I'm just like all those other lame sophies that have never touched a steering wheel before. I could run a whole lot faster than I was driving. But for a bit, I thought I was cool, Heck, I still think I'm cool!

Example 2: So.... Umm..... That's a shiny belt you've got on.

today at lunch as me and glen left the cafetorium to go get a drink, I ran in to some girls that I knew. Now, I don't know them super well, we're not super great friends, but I stopped to talk to them. Bad idea. Just, terrible idea. If I can't relate what we're talking about to warcraft, I probably should just keep my mouth closed, because nothing good comes out of it. So, I'm sitting there talking to these 2 girls, and I'm just like "Gosh, I'm smooth, I just stood here in akward silence for the past 4 seconds, and I'm still not about to go anywhere." I finally had to end the akward silence with my quality "Well, me and glen are gonna go get a drink, you have a nice day." I'm just an akward kid, lets face it. Do I have anything good to talk about? Not unless it has 580 hitpoints and a ring of +2 agility.

Example 3: There's a do-rag on my head.

Yeah, I think the title speaks for itself. I'm wearing it, and I look dang good.

Example 4: The Friday Fumes.

Every time that me and my boys see any movie/TV show that has boy bands in it, we wanna start one. We saw sons of provo, and we wanted to start a boy band. Me and kyle saw ryan shupe, and we wanted to start a band. We figured out that we could dance in unison at the region dance, and we wanted to start a boy band. I still want to start a boy band, and I'm just listening to music. We all know everybody that's cool started out in a boy band before they were rich and famous right?

Example 5: My incessant use of big words to make myself feel cool.

It's like I just learned the word "incessant" last week and I've been writing it like mad. Nah, I really learned it years ago, and it's showed up in every blog for the past million weeks. Why do I like it so much? Cause it's so long and so cool sounding. Blatant is a good word too, along with "uber roxxorz"


So, as you can plainly see, there is alot of scientific evidence supporting the theory of me being lame. However, I refuse to believe such nonsense. Sure I just spent the last 10 minutes typing about how super akward I am around girls, and how I use big words to make myself feel like a big man... But that doesn't mean that I accept the fact. If I weren't so cool, how could I still go to bed smiling every night? How could I look myself in the mirror and wink like I do every morning? I couldn't! Which just goes to show you, when I try to write anything funny, it just doesn't work. I'll never do it again.

Expect a default blog next week, ya know, one full of frisbee dreams, and complaining, and the occaisional warcraft story. Yeah, we're cool.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I like big words.