Sunday, August 20, 2006


Shabam! It's been a really long time since I've posted a classic long post. Yea verily, tonight will be no exception. Aha!

No but really, this list that you're about to see is old school. I made it a really long time ago. I had this great idea to go through all the posts that I had ever written, and catch a line or two from each of them that I liked. I generally went for funny ones, but found a few deep ones. I only got through about 9 months' worth. I intended to finish it later but never really got around to it. It's really really fragmented, but that was the point of the exercise. I really loved going back and reading this because I can remember about 90% of the stuff that I wrote really well, and remember why I wrote it, the stuff around it, that jazz. I love reading my old crap, cause I remember the good times. One day I'll go through and read absolutely everything that I've written. It's gonna take a day and a half, but I'm excited about it.

Anyways, enough musings. Here's the fragmented list, in chronological order. It starts with the oldest, and proceeds down the page to the oldest. Included is the date the post was written, the title of the post, and a few lines that I snagged. Don't expect it to make too much sense logically, just take it for what it's worth. A few of you will remember some of the events detailed herein, some'll be new. Either way, I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.

And now, I present to you my half finished project: Wabamos!


12/13/2004 "Today"

I wish I had raging muscles, and that I was good at basketball. Im not either, but by george I've got a hot computer I built from money I made laying carpets.


3/14/2005 "Happy Pi Day!"

Ive been telilng everybody happy pi day, but I don't think anybody got it. If you get it, good for you. If not, you're not alone in your ignorance.


3-19-2005 "Stray Mulch Diznope"

So, what's new in life? Well, I cleaned my room. That's pretty cool.

Im honestly considering joining an ultimate frisbee league. I'd have to find a team, but that's not too hard. I think my friends are probably getting tired of my frisbee fetish. I just dig the novelty flying disk.

My friends are doing good. Kyle got pantsed infront of hope last night, that was friggin awesome.


4-11-2005 "Ay!"

I feel kinda like a girl cause im talking about my feelings and such, but I really don't care.


4-21-2005 "It's been a while"

But the moral of the story is, girls are too much trouble. You see, computers work out great.

Computers like me, I just don't see why girls don't.


5-03-2005 "Anybody got a pet ram?"

Anybody got a pet ram? Cause if you did that'd be great.

At this point, something awesome happened. Either the other team got the crap stupored out of them, or we got some divine intervention on our side, but we just started owning. We went on an 11-0 run. 33 points in 11 minutes. We took the next 11 questions straight, and they couldn't touch us. By the end, it was 56 to 23.

we outscored them by 14 points, and you could just see them developing eating disorders as we abused them over the satellite.

Someday I just might be a mime, but probably not.

Anyways, stuff is good, Im a champion, and not just cause my socks say so this time.


5-22-2005 "I love Church"

Church makes everything better, I love the feeling you get when you go. The world just tosses you around and pushes you down, but you go to church and everything is just so right.


6-07-2005 "Singing In The Rain

Well, the thing about running around in torrential rainfall is that you get a little wet.

It ends up Marissa isn't evil, that kinda blew me away a little when I heard it.


6-14-2005 "...And the last seat on the plane is next to you"

"Of course, things will all be better in a couple days, they always are. In a way that's dissappointing, in another it's good. I guess I'll consider it good this time. All I really wanna do is complain, but I have no right to, so I suppose I'll hold my peace. Sorry for the lack of happiness this time, I'm a little tired of everything."


6-15-2005 "Crisis Averted!"

Alrighty, drama over. Things are good again, thank you for your concern.


6-21-2005 "Short one today"

Well, tonight I made a decision. I'll fill you in on it later, but it was either one of the strongest things I've done in a long time, or one of the weakest. It was also one of the smartest, or one of the dumbest.


6-21-2005 "Haha Suckers!"

Yeah, ends up it was a good decision, AND that it was an act of manly strongness, not girly weakliness.


8-15-2005 "I don't want to blog right now"

I guess there are just some times when you have to say "alrighty, I'll do it for the team." But, all vague comments aside, things are finally pretty good.


8-31-2005 "The week of August 29th"

"Taylorsville is a lot different from Eisenhower. The first difference you will notice is that the teachers are not trying to feed you the myth of the mad axe man like they were at Eisenhower. You see, the teachers at Eisenhower would have us believe that there is a mad axe man waiting outside the door of every class room, and if you go outside he's going to mutilate your body. Now, when the bell rings he leaves for approximately 5 minutes, and when the next bell rings, he comes back. Now, an ugly orange vest will ward him off for a small amount of time, but if he's exposed to it too much he'll become immune and kill you anyways. Don't go outside, or you're going to die."

That pale orange glow just isn't doing it for me these days.

So, we're forced to find new friends. Too bad we're all afraid of each other.

I need more sleep, and I think my English teacher needs some medication, but other than that we're going to be ok.

Oh, and my heart goes out to all the Katrina victims. very sad business.


9-01-2005 "Ice Bath"

He's got a mullet, it’s amazing.

World history turned out pretty good today, I really like MJ. Me and Jason decided that we were going to call him MG because he's a gangster, but that probably won't happen.

No flirting in that class... unless it’s with Jason.

They talked about it like it was some sacred ritual that would make you run faster, jump higher, and look better.

Now, for some reason this all seemed really elaborate to me. Like it was a super super complex and super cool process, and that this tub was special. Nope. It’s just a tub with a bunch of ice water in it. However, the whole team regarded it with reverence, so I did too.

...and then we got in it.

but it was still pretty fun, and I enjoyed it. Plus, it makes a really cool story to tell on your blog that a whole 2 people read.

The last words she said to me were:
"ur dumb, and now I'm going to bed" But it’s still an improvement.

What is with all these girls pointing out the fact that I'm socially retarded all the sudden? Can't we just give me a break?


9-02-2005 "Mediocre"

0-49. Good game warriors. Last football game I ever go to on my own free will.

Right now I'd be more content to sit and stare at a random piece of sidewalk than carry on a conversation with a girl.

We decided that if I stood on a desk, and robert was on my shoulders, and robert had some straws taped to his forehead, we could probably win.

The moral of the story is, when you're trying to make a tower, dont make a conglomerate of 4 groups, it makes me feel bad when I lose.


9-04-2005 "Thoughts on Frisbee"

PC Cillin, you've made a powerful enemy today.

he'd say "Well, what are you passionate about?" The only thing that I could think of that I was passionate about was Frisbee.

There's a Frisbee vacuum here, and somebody has to fill it.

After establishing clubs in all the schools around, I send a killer letter/DVD to granite district, telling them that if they don’t support it as a real sport I'm going to blow up a building. They're forced to accept, and ultimate Frisbee is now a high school sport. I go on to receive a Nobel Prize for my work, and live happily ever after in my gym shorts.


9-06-2005 "(r^2 / 2) - (r* 0.5) + 1

Now, there are a few things in life that I take as direct challenges. One of them is a math problem that I know has an answer, but that I can't figure it out.

Not to be discouraged I went out on the front porch, so I could catch the last rays of the sunset. It was here my epiphany struck. "You should divide r^2 by 2 and see what you get."

I conquered the number pyramid. Fear me.


9-19-2005 "High Fives"

My CPA is gonna blow chunks, simply because of chemistry, but oh well. Nobody likes coming to class on time anyways

So, the high school lady situation... Definitely needs some work.

but that's fine. I'm quite content to play frisbee and grow up to be a lonely old man.


9-24-2005 "...But he commands fifty!"

So, we're at cross country on tuesday, and our crazy assistant coach that lives in the woods showed up again. Now, I have no idea who this crazy guy is. He just shows up sometimes. He says he graduated from taylorsville in '91, but I'm not sure I believe him.

And with that, we all booked it away from there as fast as we could. In the middle of this crazy man that lives in the woods' speech, molen took away his audience. The whole team was laughing about it during the whole workout, it was so cool. Ive never loved molen quite so much as I did then. Man he's cool.


9-30-2005 "I'm such a rebel"

It was an insane ninja explosion kind of operation..

25 cents! GOLDMINE!

That's right. This old man is gonna go sit on his driveway in a lawnchair.

I learned some valuable things today.

Valuable thing 1: Little kids think I'm amazing.

So, the moral of the story is, go hang out with kindergartners, it's alot nicer than reality.

Just remember, Zorro never dies.


10-05-2005 "Best day of my life? Probably."

Right now it's 4:02 PM, and things are great. Why? Because my legs don't hurt, I can breathe, my appendix feels like a million dollars, and I'm not in gym shorts.

"So... that's the constant acceleration gravity I guess" -Mr. Olsen.


10-08-2005 "It's nice to win sometimes"

I had the greatest idea today, I'm not going to go into too many details, but it involves super glue and old CD drives.

Today I think I made the world a little better place. I cleaned up the room, made stallion better, and I've got plans to make a lot of other things a lot better. I think that's important, leaving the world better than we found it. Sharpe always talked about that when we did carpets, he always managed to find a way to leave the classroom better than when we found it. And I'm not talking about leaving it with better carpet on the floor. He'd just do whatever odd things needed to be done, it was pretty cool. That's what I want to do, I want to make the world a better place, one little thing at a time.

A rolling stone gathers no moss, but neither does a rocking amazing stone.

I want to run a marathon, I want to get 1st in a race, I want to be featured in popsci, I want to be artistic for once in my life, I want to write, I want an audience, I want a windmill with my name on it, I want a logo, and a theme song!


10-17-05 "> mediocre"

I'm so excited to get out there and run my little heart out on wednesday. I know I'm not gonna get a good place, that's asking way too much, but I'm going to give my best. Hooray for state.

Sure, Jason beats me at Halo, and Robert does something-that-words-can't-describe to me at halo, but can they beat me in physics? No dice.


10-19-05 "5A State Cross Country Meet - October 19th, 2005"

Whoohoo, Dead last and proud of it. Today was the state CC meet, and I came in dead last. Nobody behind me, not even a fat kid.

I'd much rather have last than 3rd to last, at this way I get to have a title.

I tell people every day that I smell funny, and really, I find my musk rather pleasant.

So.... just for the record, to clear everything up: I am not, nor ever have been, nor ever will be "emo".

I feel so inadequate without ugly facial hair though. Oh well, suck it up princess. Toodles.


10-27-2005 "DO DO DO....dododododo! (That's maelstrom if you can't tell)

That's right, I dropped her camera.

Dropping cameras is a bad idea in general. You all know you shouldn't do it. Its the thing everybody fears most, that someone will borrow their camera and drop it. I am now public enemy numero uno, I borrowed a camera and dropped it.

I could see it tip off of the tripod, and almost gracefully fall like a lead block through the air.

I don't know what these video cameras are made of, but NASA needs to look into it. I swear the camera bounced 9 times. Each one bringing a new horrifying crunch, and making me want to be invisible and back at my house underneath the bed instead of trying to help with videos and ruining expensive and nice digital cameras. I honestly believe that had I dropped the camera and a super ball from the same height at the same time, the super ball would have stopped bouncing first.

It wasn't just one swift blow to my soul, it was 7, one right after another. I nearly died.

The camera has been returned to it's rightful owner, and that's a major relief for me. I was on tenterhooks all day today because I knew it was just sitting in my locker, and I was afraid a terrorist was going to climb in there and blow himself up, just to screw me over. It's like the ring in lord of the rings. Super powerful, but bad things happen to those who use it, namely me.


10-31-05 "Happy Halloween"

My 6 words were: Gangrene, Mistress, Traffic, Parliament, Hags, and Fatal.

His gangrene
arm had been stabbed by his mistress
during heavy traffic
near the parliament

Traffic around the castle was very heavy, I hate traffic.
ought to make a law about it.


11-14-2005 "We got a serious problem here folks"

When a needle penetrates into normal fat nothing happens, you barely feel it, it's not uncomfortable at all. When a needle lands on a nerve, you jerk the needle out, proceed to yell at it for the next 5 minute for what it just did to you, and hate it with every feeling in your body.

about a 6th of my playlist is BNL. They are fully clothed canadian men, and they are way cool.

Everybody loves Enya. If you don't, well, you can go to Russia.

So, just for the heck of it, lets list my current favorite songs ever:

1) Long December - Counting Crows
2) Closing Time - Semisonic
3) Light in your eyes - Blessed Union of Souls
4) Change your mind - Sister Hazel
5) Minutos - Ricardo Arjona
6) How Bizzare - OMC
7) We are the Champions - Queen
8) Pinch Me - BNL
9) Its all been done - BNL
10) Never is enough - BNL
11) Too little too late - BNL
12) The impression that I get - MMBT
13) Real world - Matchbox 20
14) Angel de amor - Mana
15) Hanging by a moment - Lifehouse
16) Doctor my eyes - Jackson Browne
17) Last Kiss - Pearl Jam
18) Collide - Howie Day
19) 99 red balloons - Goldfinger
20) Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
21) Eve6- Heart in a blender
22) Crazy for this girl - Evan and Jaron
23) Leaving town - dexter freebish
24) Higher - Creed
25) Clocks - Coldplay
26) CCR - Up around the bend
27) Sunscreen - I don't even know who sings/says it, but it's amazing.

Question: Who would win in a cage match battle to the death: Picard or Kirk? (Nick MorandIE)

Answer: That's easy. Morris


11-20-2005 "The Best Game Ever Played II"

"There was a frisbee game I played a few weeks ago that I never got to write about. It was the most amazing game that I've ever played, and I dont know how i managed to get by without writing about it. Well, here it is, something I should have done a long time ago.

It was about 10 O'clock PM, it was cold outside, but not bitter quite yet. Off to the North, thunderclouds were forming, and streaks of lightning could be seen in the distance. Back at base, the wind was calm, no rain, no lightning, but the clouds all seemed red. It was eerily serene, and we knew something must be afoot. The past 2 games had both been shutouts. Both times one of the newbie seniors was captain, and brad was the other. The newbies all picked each other, and brad assembled a dream team both times, it was a rout. Hardly worth playing, the outcome was predetermined.

The 3rd game promised to be better. We had decent captains, and the teams stacked up pretty even. The bad guys had Andrew, Brad, Walker, and a few more I can't remember. My team had me, little Selck, Bouy, another old guy, Brady, and Benji. The teams looked great, we had enough for subs, and so the game started, just like any other game."

"Somehow, it was 8-1, in favor of the bad guys. We were discouraged, but we knew we weren't beat yet. We finally got our guys in, and leadership arose. Whether it was me, or Brady, or whoever, leadership came in, and our brains kicked on. We knew we were down 7, we knew the bad guys had us on the run, but we figured out how to beat them. With out players stacked the way we wanted them, our team finally had the depth it needed from the bench, and we began to actually play the game for the first time."

"rejuvenated by our recent realization that we weren't all fat and worthless, we started pushing it hard, and took it to 5-12."

We knew that we couldn't let it go, that if we gave up even one point they could put us in a ninja headlock that we'd never get out of.

"At 13-13, play starts to get fierce. It brings out the very best and worst of all the players on the field. When you make a good play, you know it, and your heart goes wild. When you screw up, it's one of the very worst feelings you've ever had. You've invested so much into the game, it hurts to lose it. Your legs hurt, your hands are getting hashed from catching, swatting, and throwing. Your lung hurt from the cold air, your breath comes out hard and short, and very frosty. But you know why you're in the game, and you know that you want to win. You put everything out there. This is when Frisbee gets real."

"The game progessed, both teams fighting. One for glory, and another to avoid humiliation. If we won, we'd remember it always, the time that we beat the impossible, and slew the dragon. If they won, they wouldn't have to live with knowing they let their 8-1 lead go. Either way, we knew the game was epic. Eternal bragging rights awaited the winner, but neither of us could win."

"It was nearing 12 O'clock. We had been playing straight for 2 hours. Our subs had long gone home, so it was the same 7 guys on each team booking it up and down the field. Time slowed down, the red twilight stayed the only constant. The air, once electric, was now heavy. We were fighting for life, even though it seemed to be leaving us. We had to play on, it was our destiny, but we all knew it had to end soon."

Eternal glory wasn't awarded to anybody that night, but both of us deserved it. 14 men, fighting with all that they've got, that is what dreams are made of.


11-23-2005 "Happy Thanksgiving"

Hey everybody, happy Thanksgiving to you all. I hope you have all had super awesome great days. As for me, It's not Thanksgiving yet. I'm writing this to the future, since I assume nobody is gonna read this in the next 30 minutes while it's still the day before Thanksgiving.


11-24-2005 "Thank You"

If there is one thing that I find it really hard to forget, it's people that just randomly do really really nice things for me. Everybody has the potential to do something extraordinairily nice to someone every day. Very rarely is the oppurtunity taken, but I'd like to thank the people that have been nice.

Thanks Mr. Hansen for being nice to me when I walked into class 20 minutes late.

Thanks Kira Fulton for always saying hi to me in the halls.

Thanks Porter for giving me a ride home, and being nice to me.

Thanks Mrs. Neal at Eisenhower for helping me out with my book problem last year. She hadn't ever talked to me before the day I went to her for help, but she totally went out of her way to make sure everything got taken care of, that was awesome. Thanks so much.

Thanks Andrew, for being an awesome brother and letting me play frisbee and raquetball with you.

Thanks Peter, for giving me insight into my own self, and for always being a stud when I needed one. You're gonna go far man.

Thanks Sharpe, for giving me a job, and valuable training.

Thanks to my brothers, for teaching me everything I know, giving me all I've got, and shaping me into who I am. You guys rock to the max.

Thanks Dan Rasband, for being the best teacher ever.

Thanks Travis Benson, for being the coolest adult to hit a 13 year old ever.

Thanks to anyone that's ever said hi to me in the halls, I appreciate that alot.

Thanks Colver, for making me realize I wasn't all that and a bucket of cheese.

Thanks Morris, for making me realize I'm not even the bucket.

Thank you Mr. Fiack, for teaching me algebra, even though I hated it, I learned everything I needed.

Thank you Mom and Dad, for everything. You're the very best parents ever. I wouldn't be anything without you guys, thanks so much.

Thanks Tanya, for making me show off all through 7th and 8th grade.

Thanks for lighting your field at night bennion elementary.

Props to the founding fathers, you ownt those brits.


11-26-2005 "The Fight"

Anyways, I'm currently being evicted from the computer library. Somehow the unjust have gained power, and the computer library is being transformed into a bedroom for a night. You see, this is why we have a computer library, so we can always use it without people sleeping in it. It's the computer sanctuary. Oh no, I'm being kicked out. I've got 4 minutes to write this, go go go.

Movies have messed up the idea of happily ever after. I'm here to tell you that the world never starts spinning and fades to black

Anyways, you always have to fight for that happiness. Hold on to it. Its not about being happy always, or being sad always, its about being happy as much as you can and making the most out of the days that you have. Go out, fight, win. Know that there will be happy days and sad days, but that its up to you what you do with them, and that what you do influences whether you'll be happy or sad. No forevers yet, but we do know that tomorrow will always come. We know that we can always shape tomorrow, go make it the best you can, because its a wild one. What you do today isn't going to shape all the tomorrow's forever, but its going to shape the next one. Go for it.


11-29-2005 "That was fast"

I hate my nose, but that's alright.


12-01-2005 "The upheaval"

Something weird is going on. Its not like one of those weird things that goes on in the middle of the night when you think there's an elephant in your driveway making weird noises at you, its like one of those weird things when you wake up in the middle of the night and you realize that you're switched 180 degrees, your feet are where your head ought to be, and you have no idea how it happened.....but there aren't elephants.

See, those of you who know me (That ought to be all of you, unless there are weird pedophiles out there) you all know that I'm pretty old. Im pretty much an old man. I like my cereal cold, my TV as quiet as possible, my cars slow, and fiber glass tall and frothy.

I'm afraid of cell phones, escalators, and the future.

It was pizza, and it was everything I always dreamed of. Greasy, cheesy, peperoni-y. It left my hands dripping with liquid gold. It was rich, it was fluffy, it wasn't a ham sandwich. I bought pizza for the first, or maybe the second time. I might have done it once before in 7th grade, I just don't remember. Either way, this was monumental. My first high school piece of pizza. wow.

The MegaBite. A quarter pound cookie with 75 carbohydrates, 480 calories, and the most heavenly taste ever. I like to call it "Diabetic Coma in a wrapper." I spent 2.50 on lunch today, and didn't have a piece of white bread.

First laziness, and now pizza. What is going on? What's the next bandwagon I'm gonna jump on next? Does anyone have a nightmare before Christmas sweatshirt I can borrow? Does anyone know how to put mascara on a boy? I need girl pants!


12-05-2005 "A Day in the Life of Christopher J Thatcher"

Yeah,I fell asleep halfway through. I always do with this guy. How many of you's be knowing how long it takes for me to fall asleep? It begins with an "N" and ends with "ot very long."

1:00 - Our final for Macbeth is to write an essay on one of 18 topics. They all suck, I've got no idea, and it's hand written.

In short, I'm screwed.

We've got the vampire sub. The vampire sub is the one that got lasered by the dentist, and had to tell the whole world about it. Its a sad story the first 4 times you hear it. After that, you begin to think she's just a lady on a soapbox, and then you begin to hope the soapbox will catch fire. luckily, she kept it down today.

I love this place, cause its a pediatric place, for little kids ya know. So there are always a bunch of little 7 year olds running around, then me. They sit and watch Disney movies, and I sit there and try not to look too scary. It doesn't work, they always run from me.




Nick said...


Good post.


I remember all of those, because when I'm going to read something, I start from the beginning, and I read all the way up to the present.

Maybe I'll do that... except I haven't really done anything profound or funny...

*sigh* I'm a very selfish person.

Courtney said...

That was really cool Thatcher. Ya know what I was just thinkin? I'm glad we're friends. Sometimes I feel like I take advantage of my friends, cuz they're amazing and they're always there. But really, thanks for being my friend. :D

end of randomness.