Sunday, October 19, 2008

Christopher Thatcher - Day Fourteen

Why are things the way that they are? Who am I, and when did I start being me?

I'm not happy with the way things are right now. And what that really means is that I'm not entirely satisfied with the way that I am right now.

And I've been dissatisfied with this for a while, as the blog history will show. And my efforts up to this point have been more or less unsuccessful.

Tonight was a good night that made me want to be better. And so here I stand, once again, writing a post, vowing that I'm gonna go do better. See, the most interesting thing about all of this is that I'm not doing anything that much differently than I was doing before. I'm not doing bad things or being a bad guy. I just don't feel as good about myself as I used to. I recognize that there's a lot of work that I need to do to become a better person.

But like I said, I know I've been here before. I've started many a quest. I've halfheartedly failed a lot of quests too.

But all of that considered, I'm not down and out yet. I am going to make this work. I've got a goal. And maybe it won't work out, and I'll be right here again in a week. And if that's the case, then that's the case. I'm going to keep getting up, and I'm going to keep trying. After I've worked hard enough, I'm going to learn what it is that I need to learn. I'm not giving up.

So here we are. Writing a post that's pretty much been written before. An author with dwindling desire to write and an audience with dwindling desire to read. So maybe it does look like fall outside the window, but it's alright, because spring is going to come. And whatever happens, I will keep getting up. Yep, I've been better than I am right now. And I want to be that good again, and I want to be even better than that. But it takes work.

So here I go, to work.

Thanks for being around friends. I hope things are great for you.

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