Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Christopher Thatcher - Day Two

Day two - yes, we do take this stuff seriously.

Today was a good day in Logan. School was in session, and while I had my share of poor academic choices today, I still feel good about my efforts today. I talked with my family last night about my tentative plan to become a high school math teacher. Of the four people I was talking with, three of them are teachers. The other one is married to a teacher and used to be my boss. We talked about the advantages and disadvantages of pursuing a career in education. It was pretty enlightening, and very encouraging. They gave me some good advice as to how to proceed to find out if this is what I really want to do.

Today was a good day. But I feel more like talking about what my thoughts have been on today instead of what I did and didn't do today. So, I'll go for that.

What I wrote about last night was very important to me. I believed it then, and I still wholeheartedly believe it now. I see it as an important moment in my life. It joins the filing-cabinet of other very important moments in my life.

One of the really cool things about what happened last night is the trail that it left in my life. I'm able to look at what actually happened, and I'm able to look back in history and see a lot of the steps that needed to happen first in order for it to happen. Thanks to a lot of factors, I have a pretty good picture of the incredibly complex and well-orchestrated development of that life lesson.

There are only a very few events in my life that have left such a paper trail. One of the most significant is the way that I met one particular friend who became very important to me. I believe it was the summer betwixt eighth and ninth grade, and I made a choice to go somewhere I didn't particularly want to go that day but felt that I should. That choice changed a lot of things in my life.

I won't tell the whole story here, although I do feel it's a pretty good one. The point here is that there are some things in my life where I am able to look back at what's happened over a long period of time and see a specific moment being built up decision by decision. Without a very long line of preliminary parameters being met, those things just couldn't have happened.

There are two explanations that I can see that sort of explain that. The first explanation is that those moments were planned from the start, and that we've been moving towards them from the very beginning. The second possible explanation that I see is that these events are unplanned, but that they happen because of the choices that we've made. They wouldn't have happened had we not made the choices that we did in order to set up the scenario in the proper way, but they did happen since we did.

In general, I prefer a mix of the two options. I do believe that these moments and events in life are not just happenstance. But I also believe that they are brought about because we choose to move in that direction. It's a team effort here.

The moral of my story, I believe, is that a lot of things happen in life. A lot of very important things, actually. Sometimes I'm able to peer back in wonder and awe at the orchestration that actually let those things happen. A lot of pieces had to be moved to the right squares to make it work. I'm always amazed at how very complex those motions were. It's no simple task, making things like this happen. Trails are set in motion years in advance. This is pretty heavy business.

More often than not, though, I haven't seen the paper trail. Aside from the things I learned last night and meeting Hope, I don't know if there are any other things that I have really appreciated the paper trail on as much.

What's important, though, is that I know it was there. Even if I never saw it or appreciated it, I know that it was there. The decisions that I make do make a difference to what happens. That's heavy.

When I've thought back on situations and wondered, "what would have happened had I done X instead of Y?" I'm always a little bit worried. I don't like that possibility.

So there's a lot of paper trailing going on in my life right now. I don't see it. I didn't see any of it until I had felt so much about the lesson that I learned that I peered back. Until I learn a lesson or have an event, it's very difficult to see the paper trail that leads to it. But I know that it's happening.

And that means that I have to be pretty active when it comes to choosing what I'm going to do. If the choices that I made before led to the things that have happened so far, choices I make in the future will continue to build. I'm terrified of the history that could have been had I done different things. I don't know what the future is, but I don't want to miss something incredible.

I believe that the difference will be made for me in the very little things. When I feel like I should do something, that's a giant flashing neon sign saying that I should definitely do it. The future depends on it.

This makes me think of things that I should do. Some are long term, and some are very short term. But I do believe they're important. I'm going to get cracking on those.

Much love friends. Happy day two. Tomorrow is Tuesday, and I think that's pretty great news. It's also Tyrel's birthday, so you should all text him a happy birthday. I'm off to move forward. Good luck friends, thanks for being around.

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