Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Christopher Thatcher - Day Sixteen

1:28 AM - baby steps towards going to bed at a decent hour :)

Today was day two of moving towards being a better person. I woke up knowing what I wanted to work on, and I feel like I did a good job remembering that throughout the day. There were a lot of moments when I realized that I had just screwed up on a goal or on something I need to work on, but that made me pretty happy. The fact that I can notice when I do stupid things means that I can move towards not doing those stupid things anymore. Today was a good day because I was able to work on being better.

Am I better than I was yesterday? I think so. Still got forever and a day to go... but hey, I've got time. This is good news.

I said last night I'd explain a little better some of what happened this weekend. I don't want to go into too much detail right now, but a few things happened that made me more human than I've been for the past few months. I know that sounds incredibly stupid, but it makes sense to me. It's sort of like something that should have happened a really long time ago finally happened. It was very late, but it finally showed up. I don't really know why, but it helped things change considerably.

Yes, I know it has only been two days. But I'm feeling better. Best of all, I'm feeling hopeful that I can make this work. I'm behind on some things up here, but I know I can fight back up. I've let a few things go these past few months. No idea if they're salvageable, but I'm going to try.

Today was good, and I feel like I made progress on almost all of my points of emphasis. That makes me happy. I'm going to call it a night and go study. That's going to take care of two emphases at once. Good news.

I might be pretty scarce around here in the near future, we'll see how it goes. If I don't show up for a while, I want to thank everybody who has been here for this adventure. All of the encouraging comments really did help a lot. You're an incredible group of friends. There are probably some lurkers out there who I'm not aware of. You folks are cool too, even if I don't know that you're my friend yet.

Much love, and good luck. Things are going to be alright. Work feels good. Progress feels so good. I know that I'm going to screw up, but I'm going to keep on trying. Get back up, it's time to finish the race.

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