Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Change My Life Blogaday - Day Ten

1:38 AM.

Tonight is the first night in a long time that I didn't want to write for a bit. I'm feeling better about it now, but about five minutes ago I just didn't want to. Things have changed a bit since then. That's good news.

Today had ups and today had downs. We'll start with ups, move to downs, and then finish with a look at the future.

Physics recitation was actually really good today. Instead of reading the chapter I tried my best to follow along with the class. I learned some stuff, and a few of the things we'd talked about finally started clicking. We had a quiz, and I feel like I probably did a pretty good job. It was one of the best recitation's I've ever had. I did fall asleep through some of it, but I sort of just do that.

Ultimate was really fun today. I feel like I played a lot better than usual. I was using my brain a lot and making good cuts to good spaces. My throws were on, and I felt like I was a valuable asset to the team. I usually feel like a valuable asset, but I felt better about it today.

Graphics even went well. I stayed up with the teacher and finished what we were supposed to. I got 3/10 on the quiz, but I know that that's probably a lot higher than class average, so that's cool.

I played Ultimate again tonight with some country bumpkins. It's hard to go from real ultimate to country ultimate. I love when someone calls a foul and the smart-guy is always like "Oh, I didn't know there were fouls in Ultimate" like we're a bunch of sissies. Yeah. There are fouls. And yeah, we do take this seriously. It was fun, and I had a good time. It was just an old adventure that felt like a new adventure because I hadn't done it for so long. It's hard for me to defend without a force, it's weird.

I went and played volleyball with the ward tonight. I felt like it'd be fun to try, so I went. I've never really played much volleyball. I don't know the rules and I don't know how to be good at it. But I had a good time playing. I felt like I did a few good plays, so that was fun. I'm thinking I'll take a volleyball class next semester. I've probably said that a million times during blogaday. It's just something I get excited about though. Taking a PE class is one of the very few opportunities I have to diversify and do something fun. I don't "try new things" very often. I've been accused of not being spontaneous. And it's true. Volleyball is pretty dang spontaneous though, so don't give me any of that lip. Unless, of course, it's the good kin- too much living with Andrew makes me say that sort of thing instead of just thinking it and not saying it. I could, of course, go back and delete it. But hey, I'll keep it up there.

I had a lot of physical activity today, and that's pretty cool.

I didn't read my physics chapter tonight though. At about 11 o'clock I had a choice of doing my physics and talking to someone I really wanted to talk to or playing starcraft with Andrew and Brad. I chose starcraft. Hour and thirty minutes later, I felt a bit like a loser. I'm a bit of a sucker when it comes to peer pressure like that. I'm pretty strong when people tell me to do things for myself. "It'll be fun, you'll like it" doesn't mean much of anything to me. I'm okay with not being fun. I'm an old man. It's when people start using themselves that I fall. I know that it'll be more fun for the other guys if I play. I tend to do stupid stuff like that pretty often.

So that's my sad story of the day. I didn't do any homework tonight. Probably a pretty bad choice. The next three nights of my life are going to be pretty heavily based on physics. Tomorrow I need to read a chapter (since I didn't do it today) and do my assignment. Day after that I need to read the next chapter. Day after that is an assignment, but since I'm coming home I might try to get it done beforehand. That's a lot of physics. We'll see how it goes.

I also slept till about 11 today. Yeah, that wasn't a great use of my time.

How did I do at changing my life today? I tried a new thing, and that was fun. But changing my life gets about no points for today. No, wait, I get a few points. I worked a bit on finances. My bank account feels better because of what happened today. That doesn't count for much, but at least it's something.

How did I do at moving forward on my education? I receive very few points for that today as well. I had no pressing homework, but I didn't touch any of it. I left myself with *two* assignments to do tomorrow during my hour-long break. I need to study for a creative arts test and write a paper for scholar's forum. Actually, I can probably write that paper after institute and still get it in on time. But still.

Things that really need to change: I need to stop sleeping in on Tuesdays and Thursdays. That's a big waste of resources. I need to do homework more often. It seems like every time Kyle has ten spare minutes he'll sit down with his math or physics. When I do homework, I dedicate a few hours to making it happen. I work pretty much non-stop, minus a few ADD breaks here and there. My way works, but so does kyle's. A billion minutes spread over a few days is sometimes more pleasant than a billion minutes from midnight to two.

Tomorrow is a hefty day. Lots of time-sensitive heft as well. But I feel like I can do it. First task is to get up. Second task is to get to calculus on time. After that it should flow right out.

I don't know how I feel about this post. It's very journalistic. It feels like a lot of my posts have been like that. I know that that's part of what this is all about. But still, it could be better. I like that this gives me a good opportunity to think about what happened today and what I could have done better. I like that it helps me look forward to tomorrow as well. But I do miss asking questions about my humanity.

One thought I did have today, with a throwback to something I've thought before. What are my priorities up here? Or rather, why am I here? What do I want to get accomplished here? I can really identify three things. Prepare for a mission, Do well with my education, and take good care of myself. Those three things can be broken down further. Do well with my education, what does that even mean? Does that mean learn something so I can get a good job? Learn something so I can change the world? Keep my scholarship?

If I have my priorities, and I've declared them, am I actually working towards that? What am I actually working on? I have declared priorities or goals and actual work towards something. Does the work I do match up with my priorities or goals?

What's important? Am I working on that instead of other things? There's a thoughtful me and there's a me that autopilots. Sometimes I worry that autopilot writes and goes through the day. I know there's a better me inside. I need to work on that more.

I'm off to study, like I do. I hope that you're all doing well friends. Keep up the good work. Much love. I'm going to do better tomorrow.

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