Go Forth and Conquer 06-07

Hey everybody, welcome to the post.

I've been sitting on this one for a while now. I want to go back and analyze my junior year of high school. The ups, the downs, ins and outs and everything between. Maybe it's for me, maybe it's for you. Either way, I'm writing it.

It might have been the best school year of my life. Regardless, it eclipsed every other year in importance and opportunity. You can think of it as a junior year wrap-up, an evaluation of the big stuff in my life. I hope you enjoy.

Class

Junior year was definitely the most challenging schooling of my life, academically speaking at least. With 4 AP classes all peaking the workload at the same time, life got pretty brutal come April.

Seminary- Seminary was an awesome class for me, especially the first semester. Second semester was good and all, but it just didn't stand up next to first. I remember walking in the first few days and missing my sophomore seminary class a lot. Sophomore year I had Brother Pearce, and my class was full of all-stars. It was mostly sophies, with a few solid seniors thrown in there for good measure. We never had any problems getting participation. I was good friends with all the kids, it was just a solid class. That was sophomore year, and my junior year 1st semester class looked nothing like it. I was friends with two or three people in the class, and I knew a few others by name and face, but had never really talked to them. It was apparent really early on that this class was a lot rougher around the edges than any other I'd ever been in. We had lots of kids that didn't want to be there, or who were really interested in sleeping the first period of the day. It looked pretty dire, and I wasn't too excited about it.

Brother Adams was our teacher, and he recognized the situation just as well as I did. He did a lot of awesome stuff for us that first semester, and amazing things started to happen.

We were initially all pretty closed to each other. It took a few hard weeks for us to start warming up to everybody in the class, but once it did, things caught on fire. Adams knew we had a really competitive class body, so he pushed that for us as often as was reasonable. I remember getting up there, Me, Brady, L'il Ashby, Dave, Ande, and Taesha and just working our hearts out to beat the other classes time records or whatever. We pulled together to lay the smackdown and win those bagels at the end of the semester. We started to bond, and we started to get comfortable with each other. We all warmed up and began to really share experiences and ideas. Once we finally got rolling, things were amazing. I looked forward to it every time I went, just because I knew I had good friends in there who were trying to do the same things I was. I gained so much respect for those kids in there. We all came from really diverse backgrounds and situations in life. It was so cool to see us all come together though. I've never felt more welcome in a seminary class ever than I did in there. We all just got really close, it was amazing.

I still can't help but smile inside when I see the people from that class. Most of us got split up at semester change, and that was pretty hard. I see L'il Ashby at the stake center every once in a while, he's a studmuffin. Ande and Taesha, I've got nothing but huge respect for those two. It was just an excellent class, and I really grew to love everybody in there. First semester seminary junior year: Best seminary class to date.

Junior Choir- Oh the love that was Junior Choir. I signed up last year mostly to have a reason to leave Jazz Band. As much as I loved making music with my sweet trombone, I didn't feel like I was up to par with the rest of the players in there, and I really just felt like I was holding everybody back. I didn't want to drag the band down and keep feeling like I sucked so much, so Junior Choir looked like a pretty lucrative option. Add on top of that my desire to learn to sing, and the multitude of ladies who were begging guys to go try out, it was hard not to make the call and try out late sophomore year.

Try outs weren't as bad as I thought, and I actually went in there pretty confident. Not so much that I knew that since I was a guy I'd be a walk-on, but cause me and my dad had worked on the song the night before and I felt like I knew what I was doing. I went in there, did my thing, and T said I'd be a good asset to the choir. Simple as that, I was in.

The first day was a little tricky there too. I didn't quite know what to expect. I had never sung in a genuine choir before. I'd had a lot of practice with church and all, but never anything really organized. I stuck pretty close to Kyle, since he had been in men's chorus sophomore year and seemed to know the ropes.

Warmups the first day were pretty cool. Totally unexpected, full of energy and corn. It was one of those things that people sort of looked around and wondered if they'd really join in, but seeing everybody else leaping in and smiling the whole time made the fears go away. It was fun and productive, I could definitely feel myself getting better and understanding the whole singing thing more. T always made us feel like we were making good progress, and it felt great.

It was an awesome class. First off, I was in there with all my buddies. Sophomore year didn't see too many great opportunities to have classes with my boys. Here we were, Me, Kyle, Levi, and James. We had been classic in Junior High, but sophomore year had seen us drift a little bit apart. I was glad to be with them, and glad to be with so many other good guys. Kirt, Robert, Joey, Peter, Peter, Austin, Brad, Bentley, Cody, Jared, and the newcomer Shaun Noble, who I'd never met before, but he ended up as my music partner and a cross country buddy, so it was way cool. Just being with all those good guys, hanging out, blending together, it was a great environment.

And then there were girls! Lots of em! And they sounded amazing! And they were all pretty happy to be there, which was just cool. It was always a nice class to be in, because c'mon, there were lots of friends and lots of girls. A winning combination.

More important than that though, was what we were doing in there. T is amazing, and somehow manages to keep us all excited and full of energy and moving in the right direction. It was super cool, the first time we brought all of our voices together after a little practice to pull off a sweet part of a song. It just sounded so good. We were all just smiling about it, wondering if that was really us that pulled that off. We made some awesome stuff happen in there. It was excellent to sit there during TVTV time and realize that we'd just had an awesome rehearsal and made a lot of progress. Those were good days, getting better.

Junior choir just had a winning combination when we did it right. Great people and progress, you can't get much better than that. Of course, it was a double edged sword. Some days we just didn't get anything done because we were talking too much. We still need to work on discipline, but over all it was an awesome experience, one I'm really glad I signed up for.

Litmag- Culture Shock the very first day. I went into this class the second semester, mostly upon Wessman's request. It required a little shuffle of my schedule, but Wessman really wanted me to come in and train so I could do some heavy duty journalism stuff my Senior year. I couldn't fit into the real journalism class, but Wessman was sorta doing half and half in his litmag class, so in I went.

I knew a few of the guys in there, so I was pretty excited about it. Jaron, Nate, Mac, it was going to be good times. I figured it'd be a nice breath of fresh air, considering I hadn't been in a class like that for a few years at least. I was going to be creative and all that. It was gonna be sweet.

Wow. It wasn't what I expected. I mean, I should have figured it was coming, but walking in there I was totally smacked with the wet noodle of culture shock. There were "creative" kids in there. I'd never taken a high school class with "creative" kids. You know, the ones with the fishnets on their arms and the crazy sweatshirts with weird stuff on them and the haiven Glaiven. There were kids in there I'd never seen before in my life. It took a little bit of an adjustment, but it was one that I was willing to make.

The first few days we did some creative writing stuff, just free write stuff, that was good times. Wessman taught us a little bit about newspaper writing and all that, and then we had to pick sides. He wanted to find out which side of the class we'd fall on, the newspaper side, or the litmag side. I think I was one of the last guys to get called on to proclaim my allegiance. I had entered the class fully intending to go on the newspaper side, but the idea of the litmag had really started to be cool to me as I learned more about it, so I called it straight in the middle. "Put me in the middle, wherever you want me to go."

It was an odd class. Huge variety of kids in there. There were the creative types, the talented types, the sleep in class types, the "man, I didn't expect to see you in a class like this types". Wessman was really good about it though, he ran it pretty well. He tried to cater to all of us, keep us all doing work that we wanted to do and that needed to be done. Sure, some periods were spent with absolutely no progress being made, but things eventually picked up.

I still hadn't found my niche in the class when Wessman realized that we really had to start cooking on the litmag or we wouldn't hit deadline. I didn't really know the whole process that the litmag needed to go through, or what work had been done so far. It had been a little frustrating, not knowing what to do. When Wessman would tell us to do stuff, we sort of didn't get it done. We'd make an initial effort but then get sidetracked. It was, as it were, less effective.

Then one day things changed. Wessman got up to the board and talked about what needed to be done that day to move closer to being ready. One of the tasks was finding the information on the art that we were going to include in the actual publication. We had chosen the art, but we needed to make sure we had author names, the medium they used, the size, titles, all that good stuff. Wessman told us we needed to get that done, but that he needed to go run some errands or something. He told the class that I'd be in charge of spearheading that department, gave me the nod of confidence, and away he ran.

This was a good day. I was a little tired of not getting things done, and I suddenly had that exhilarating rush of "I'm in charge, let's get this puppy rolling". I immediately set up the task force to go get the information from the attendance office, so we could find out where the people were. I sent those two off, but I was standing up at the whiteboard, and I was ready to get things done.

I have this tendency to hijack projects. Give me an opening, and suddenly I'm at the helm. That's what I did that day. I'm not quite sure why I did, or even how I did it, but suddenly I was telling everybody what needed to happen. For the first time since I'd been in the class, everybody was working on something. We had kids in the class doing work, we had kids over in the computer library. I was doing nothing but running around, making sure everybody had a job and that we were moving closer to our goals. People were asking questions, getting support, giving suggestions, and ultimately getting work done. That day we moved like a well oiled machine. In all the times I ended up being in charge in that class, I'm pretty sure that first day was our most effective.

In any event, I had taken my small responsibility over the art information and transformed it into a medium-sized dictatorship. I wonder if that's what Wessman intended to happen, either way he didnt' stop it once he got back. He sorta stood back and let it happen.

And suddenly, I was promoted from not having a job to being a co-editor. I took the job seriously, because we really needed to haul it to get things done. It was a really gratifying experience, seeing everything come into place. I love the managerial position. It's something that I feel pretty natural about. It took a lot of work, and a lot of times it was discouraging, but working with all the teams, getting everybody's unique talents to come together and publish it, wow, that was a great feeling.

I was really happy with how the magazine turned out. It was cool to get to work alongside Nate and Jaron, who I had been buddies with, but was working with for the first time, and I think we grew to be pretty tight in there. Jaron pulled off a ton of excellent work with photoshop and indesign to make things look smooth and awesome, which was pretty cool to see.

I got closer to everybody in there, we grew as a team and created an awesome product. Yeah, we know people buy it for the extra credit. But that's OK. We pulled something awesome off this year, and maybe next year things will be a little different for them.

I've got a lot of respect for the litmag kids. If I had room, I'd do it again next year. It was a cool class for me to take, because more than real structured "learning" it was production. It was a team with a genuine deadline and a genuine goal. I was in there busting out the leadership, which I really enjoyed doing, and I think it taught me a lot too. Much love for litmag.

Athletics- Cross Country was so amazing my Junior year. Athletics was a PE class during the day where the whole team would go, get dressed, and work out during fourth. It was cool for a lot of reasons. It meant we didn't have to stay after to workout, since we had already done it. We felt pretty important, you know, not learning stuff in order to run. It was fun to be with my team. I have so much love for that team. Going through all that pain with them, you can't come out of that without a lot of love and respect for your fellow athletes. Athletics was good clean fun. I think we all got a little burnt out as the season progressed, but we did our best out there. Once XC was officially over we started having lots of fun with Sock Tag and various other games we'd play while "working out". There's nothing like the sweet satisfaction of thoroughly owning somebody with that sock. Athletics was good, and that's about it.

Precalc- Just a good solid class where you learned good stuff. My first semester class was awesome for me, it was stacked with tons of excellent people. Me, Kyle, Nick, and Taylor all sat on one row, second from the front. We joked around, but always learned the math and did it well. It was sweet to listen to Kyle's Zen when it was seriously time to get to work. One ear plugged, fousing down to a point, yeah, we got some good work done. Kaelin was a really cool guy, taught us a ton of sweet stuff that wasn't part of the curriculum. Yeah, he gets sidetracked a lot, but I appreciated it. More than anything it was sweet to realize that Kaelin's just a normal guy, doing awesome stuff. He had great stories, and it was fun to learn from him. I really got along well in that class, we just had a ton of fun. I always looked forward to it.

Of course, second semester brought a change of periods, which meant new people. It had its ups and downs. Definitely fewer of my friends in there. Since I was coming in at the semester, I lost my good seat. I had occupied the best seat in the house first semester, but now I was sort of a migrant. There were lots fewer kids in this class, but it felt so cramped all the time for some reason. It was 4th period, so instead of 2nd when we were all finally waking up to be energetic, we were all ready to go back to bed.

There were good people in the class, but there were also a few who weren't at all interested in doing math. That's one thing I really appreciated about first semester. We could joke all we want, Me, Kyle, and Nick, but we still got out work done. I found it a lot more difficult to do my work with certain people around in my new class. I therefore made it a point to move to the other side of the room. Sometimes those people would come over and sit, but mostly they stuck to their side, and life was good.

One of the big ups of the new class was being in there with the ever studly J. Gabbitas. Once things finally got settled he came and chilled on my side of the room, and we got to know each other and be better friends. That was cool, and I'm really glad that happened. With a little work, he could make an excellent Ultimate player.

There were a few select people I was really glad were in the class. It was a good class, and I learned the math and did will on the tests, so things were good. Math is still cool.

AP Action

AP classes had been something that I'd looked forward to as long as I could remember. I knew my siblings had taken them, and I knew they were a lot harder than normal classes. I knew I'd learn more, and I knew that there was a beastly test at the end. All of these things really appealed to me. I love learning everything I can, and I adore a decent challenge on a bubble sheet. I took four my Junior year, something I'm really pretty happy about. Everybody said I was crazy, but hey, it was my choice, and I'm happy I made it.

To be honest, I didn't take the classes for the college credit. I took them for the challenge and the learning. I'm not much of one for credit at this point of my life. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it, and learn what I could in the meantime. They were the hardest classes I could sign up for, so yea verily, sign up I did.

AP American History- AP history was a brute, but such a loveable brute that you just wanted to give the whole subject a big hug. From day one I knew that it'd be a class I'd really enjoy. It was strenuous and oftentime monotonous, but it was subject matter that I really loved, and learning more about stuff I was interested in always felt great at the end of the day. Rockwell lectured really well, and entire class periods were taken writing notes at breakneck speed. I developed a pretty decent system for taking notes, marking things that were really important and all that.

Really, AP American History was old school, that's all there is to it. No surprises, it was the education system at it's most basic. Here's the lecture, take notes. There's the chapter, read it. Here's an assignment to drill the info in, do it. Here's a test to make sure.

But on top of that was Rockwell, who really is just a comical character. I can see how some people could not like him. He didn't make much of an effort to hide the fact that he didn't know us personally for a really long time. Some teachers get to know their students real well, but I don't think Rockwell was one of those. That's OK though, because it was Rockwell and he didn't pretend. He had old jokes, but hey, he was loveable, and he taught us excellent stuff.

I remember the assignments to read the chapters. A very important lesson I learned from Junior year relates to those chapter assignments. I started off pretty well reading them, but once the middle of the year came I got lazy and busy and didn't read. I still did great on assignments and tests, but it felt like there was something missing. I didn't have as much satisfaction in that class as usual. When Rockwell picked it up and started giving us assignments on every chapter, man, I really started to love that class. Sometimes me and kyle would do the work together, but no matter what, I always had the best feelings about myself and school when I'd sit down and read that book for the hour and a half it took. I learned a ton, and I knew that walking into school the next day I'd be ready for whatever Rockwell had to throw at me. Reading those chapters just had a way of relaxing me, and filling me with a sense of accomplishment and peace. I've got a great love to the history book because of it.

History was really useful everywhere else too. In any situation, it was always helpful to be able to bust out a ton of background knowledge on any situation. I can't count the number of times in English when I'd slow down and be like "Hey, chill, this happened before, it'll happen again. It's been going on forever, historically blah blah blah." It was pro. Reading the news and all that, it was so easy to see all the parallels. AP history started to plug in to every part of my life, and I was really glad that it did. To be honest, I'd retake the course next year if I had room. I would love to hear it all again. I've got a great love for AP History.

AP English- I hated AP English for a really long time. I walked in the first day and got sat down on a table that had nobody I knew on it, people I'd never even seen. I was in the front of the class, and yet the desk was oriented such that there was absolutely no comfortable way to sit and see the teacher or the board and any of the rest of the class. Harward came off early as a serious butthead. He came in the first day and started ranting off on these big words that none of us had ever heard of before, and he wouldn't tell us what they meant. That was a big problem for me, because I'd never really been placed in a situation where words were over my head. He kept giving us assignments to analyze these rhetorical strategies on pieces, and that didn't sit well with me at all. Everything about him and that class bugged me. His logic seemed so flawed, his goals and everything else just so irritating. The fact that a lot of my friends had a fairy tale first term with Parrish made me want to leave really bad.

It just bugged me, the way he used words that didn't mean a thing to all his students. I figured that if a word didn't mean anything to me, it wasn't really even a word. Because what is a word? It's just a tool to convey an idea from one person to the other. Both people know what the word means, so they both have the same idea. All the leadership training I've ever had talks a ton about two-way communication and how important that is. Yeah, there was none of that in the beginning. He would go on and on about logos and pathos and ethos and all sorts of other words that I can't remember right now. It meant nothing to me, and it just irritated me. It bugged me that he just jumped right in, didn't give us any intro, just did it.

And then there was Latape. Oh how I despised latape. It was some sort of mnemonic device to help us remember how to start paragraphs in our AP essays. Start with the author's last name, then do some sort of adjective, then blah blah blah. It bothered me. Of course, he had started the year with some diatribe about how terrible the five paragraph essay was, and how templates that you just plug things into are horrific. Then, two weeks later, he gives us this latape template and demands we use it. The hypocrisy killed me!

I had serious issues with the class. I'd never disliked a teacher as much as I disliked Harward. I wanted to rant a rave every day about how much I disliked the guy. The only thing that kept me from posting an angry argument every night on the blog was that I was pretty sure he'd magically read it.

One of the big problems I had was with analyzing rhetorical strategies. He would make us find out how this person accomplished their purpose in writing this paper. It felt, to me, that he skipped the whole "purpose" part, and that really bugged me. That's what had always been important to me. The first question, what's the purpose, and the next question, did he succeed? That was all I cared about. I didn't care how they wrote it, just whether or not it had the intended effect. It took me a long time to get over that.

A lot of things had to happen in order for me to fix the problems I was having in there. First and foremost it was a pride issue. I needed to stop believing that Harward was a nincompoop. I got moved to another desk, which really made me happy, because now my back wasn't always having issues trying to see anything. I finally started catching on to all the big words he would throw around like candy, and suddenly it didn't seem like he was just spouting crap to try to impress us, we were honestly having academic discussions.

When things changed, they changed big time. I started to love that class, look forward to it like crazy every day I had it. The class, after the initial "we hate Harward" days, really came together. It's amazing how that always happens. But we all respected each other, and we could joke around with each other and with Harward too. I really became a better writer in there, because once I started understanding where Harward was coming from he really helped me out. It was fun to have discussions in there, those were some of my favorite days. You put Me, Kent, Austin, Sam, P-Burn, and April in one room, there's nothing but good times there.

English took a total 180 for me. Right now I treat Harward just like one of my buddies. We joke around and have a good time. I can't believe I used to hate the guy, he's a stud! If I had room, I'd go TA that class. English taught me a lot about analyzation and about writing, but it was a mean first few months in there. It was trial by fire at first, but once we all came through it, things blossomed and became really awesome. I went into that AP test super confident thanks to Harward. Yeah, multiple choice was still a little sketchy, but man, those essays came out like molten gold spewing from my pen. Na na na na, can't touch this.

The best part was, I totally used Latape. I did. The one I vowed never to use, yeah, I used it. Which just goes to show, maybe Harward wasn't a total jerk that managed to change his ways halfway through the year. Maybe the problem lied with me (yeah, duh, of course it did). But I'm glad that me and Harward started getting along. Whatever changed, it was a sweet change, cause I really loved English class. We had a treat bucket! We just had a great time. One of my favorite memories of Junior Year, starting to get along with my English class. Mmm mmm good.

AP Physics- What do you get when you add two parts mullet with three parts awesome shirts, shoes, and watches, and another 4 parts sweet jokes? That's right: Olsen. AP Physics, the next step in the relationship. Now, Sophomore physics and AP physics are completely different animals. Normal honors physics is cake. You go in there, and half the class doesn't want to be there. Olsen knows that. He knows they just don't really want it. The class is easy for you because you want to learn and work hard and do well, and so you do. You really shine in that class. You learn a ton, which is just awesome. Honors physics is pro, but compared to AP, it's the little sandbox next to Kennecott Copper Mine.

I thought I was tough stuff in the physics department, because like I said before, I had owned normal physics. AP took everything that we'd already done and added a million new parts to it. What used to be simple and elegant was now brutally complex and elegant. The same basic ideas applied, but suddenly we had to apply them to a million different things at once. I was totally surprised at how difficult it was.

It was really rewarding though. Figuring out those real complex problems, mmm, that's amazing stuff right there. We honestly felt like the elite in there. It was a small class, and it only got smaller as time went on. We were the cream from the honors classes. I got a lot of respect for everybody that stuck that class out. It was cool to have Olsen teaching us all this stuff. I don't know why, but I think Olsen's just a stud. There were like, 11 of us, and he just totally taught us. It'd be easy for somebody to say 11 kids aren't worth it, but our class was worth it to the school and to Olsen.

It was hard, wrapping my head around it all the time. It always felt so good afterwards when I finally got it. Like most classes though, it was a real two sided deal. When I got stuff I'd walk out of there full of energy and happy as could be. When I didn't understand something, despite trying super hard, I'd be way depressed and tired once school got out. Whether I got it or not really governed how I felt about it.

Harmonic motion was a brute, and so was radial motion till we all got the hang of it. All the calculus stuff really wasn't that difficult, but considering the lack of background I had in calc it made it a little trickier.

It was a hard subject, but one that I'm glad I took. We had a lot of fun joking around together and learning. It was a challenge, but with the challenge came great rewards. Much love for my AP physics class. There's nobody in there I don't respect and smile when I think about them. Bahaha, just good times.

AP Chemistry- I saved this one for last, as it's the best one. The Grandpappy of AP experiences. The keynote speaker, the big one. AP Chemistry takes the cup for junior year.

Imagine this setup: Last year you took normal chemistry, and did well in the class. You understand everything pretty decent. You decide to take AP chemistry, because, well, why not? You want to learn more because it interests you and you think it'll be useful.

You walk in the first day and find a class of 14 or so other students. You know all but one of them from previous experiences together. Your teacher is your cross country coach, who you've spent the entire last summer running for. You respect him a ton, and you know that he respects you a ton as well. You're excited to learn. Some of your best friends are there right by you, it's going to be a good year.

You get your book and your assignments. You realize very quickly that they are all exactly the same. Read the chapter. Do these questions. Test on it afterwards. Every single time.

Sometimes we'd wait to have a test on a few chapters at once. But that's how it went. Read the chapter, questions in the back of the chapter. If you can't figure something out, we'll talk about it as a class.

It got old fast, and we could see a few people falling by the wayside. Luckily the whole first semester was stuff we had done last year, so it was mostly a review plus a few fairly mild new concepts. Hansen, who I respect a ton to this day, wasn't spoon feeding us. In fact, he wasn't spoon feeding us to the extreme. It was the furthest from it possible. We had our books, we had the assignment. We were on our own.

Sure, we'd talk about stuff in class. But for whatever reasons that rarely ever helped. In fact, it mostly just confused us more.

Things got progressively harder. The subject was picking up, and we were ultimately responsible for ourselves. This wasn't like History where Rockwell lectured every day, with the book as a supplement. Nope. The book was your only friend in that class. Nothing else would help you. Your only chance was the book.

The semester break approached, and the class took a serious blow. James and Jason and Tania were leaving us. Now, to most classes that's not a big deal, but to a class of 14 or so, losing three of your members is a big deal. Hansen was a little sad about it, he felt like he'd messed up and that's why they were leaving.

One day around that time I stopped into Hansen's room to tell him I wasn't going to go to practice or something of that nature, and me and him ended up having an hour long discussion about the AP Chemistry class and what needed to change. It took a while, it was kind of a difficult thing to talk about, but we made good progress. We discussed how it didn't really do us any good to have Hansen kind of read the chapter to us, and that we needed more class participation and more support together instead of strictly from the book. We talked about ideas for gearing up for the test and how to prepare. At the end of that little meeting we both came out of there with a serious plan on how to make the class work better, and for the first time in a long time I was excited about AP Chemistry again.

Semester change came, our numbers went down, and all the sudden we were into new material. Everything before had been hard, but it had been things we were comfortable with from the past. We were launched into Chemical Kinetics, rates of reaction and all that business. Molecular Geometry, brutal stuff like that. It was brand new. The class changed a little bit because of what me and Hansen talked about, but it was still the same basic concept: This is your class, I can't feed it to you, it's your responsibility.

A few students "died" in those months. They didn't really get the new material, and they decided that they wouldn't take the test when it came up. I got pretty discouraged for a while, got a little tired of it, but I was still in it and knew I'd be taking the test. We moved along. I'd get excited when I'd learn something new and understand it, but I was still a little dormant.

Now, important to note here is the presence of Levi. Levi was one of the guys that was ready to leave the class at semester. We knew that we his plan. I was disappointed, but that's what he had decided to do. The first day of second semester, there was Levi. He had had a change of heart, and said he was determined now to stay and pass that test.

It was a few months later that I really started to notice how determined Levi truly was. Hansen had bought us the princeton review and the Barrons prep books. I saw Levi studying them, taking notes of things he didn't understand, and then raising his hands and asking questions for Hansen on stuff he didn't know. I saw him studying in junior choir! It was amazing, I was really impressed.

Best of all though, it was contagious. Levi was so determined and excited and ready to go at it, that it was impossible for me not to catch the spirit. He'd ask me a question, and I'd mostly know the answer, but I was content with that. I couldn't give it to him for sure, and that wasn't good enough for him. He needed to know. What had once been good enough for me, that foggy idea, just wasn't good enough anymore. I had to study! I had to go and learn everything I could! The test was coming up, and if it killed both of us, Levi and I had decided to be ready. We vowed that we'd pass it.

We both set out studying hard from that point. We knew that the situation was pretty critical. Hansen, who I respect so much, simply wasn't going to give us the info. He knew it, that's for sure, but he didn't quite know how to teach us everything. He had given us the tools though. We had our text book, the princeton, the barrons, and the whole class to use as resources to figure things out. During class times we had mostly taken to doing practice tests, everything we could get our hands on. We did so many of them. While that was going on it was up to us to study and figure out the stuff that we didn't know that we needed to.

It was definitely sink or swim time. The test was only a few weeks away. Then a miracle struck. Hansen busted out some amazing teaching. We need desperate help on equilibrium, thermodynamics, and electrochemistry. It was brief, and really close to the test date, but it was needed relief, and I think we all appreciated it greatly.

The test grew neared. I still had three other tests growing nearer, but none worried me like chemistry did. It was the big show, the real one. Everything else, if we passed, we passed because we worked hard and had a lot of help. With AP Chemistry, if we passed, we knew we passed because we earned it. It was the test to beat. If I could do that, I could do anything.

Me and Levi kept studying. The day before the test Levi came home with me and we spent four hours or so going over stuff. We got online and looked at 2006's free response test. We did it all, piece by piece. We went through it and figured it out. It was a big confidence builder. We had studied like mad and here we were, actually making it through 2006's best shot.

As a team we knew we could do it. We felt confident, but we knew that tomorrow would bring a whole new animal. We'd be separated, no more consulting each other. Tomorrow was the day. We figured we'd done everything that we could. We parted for the evening, as prepared as we could possibly be for what was to come.

The day of the test was strong. This was it. I didn't care about anything else right then. Those three other tests didn't even matter compared to chemistry. We got to the library early and chilled. It was a very small group taking the test, only eight or so of us. Me, Levi, Glen, Landon, Lydia, Rachel, and a few others. It all came down to this.

The test opened up harder than I expected for the beginning, but it was multiple choice, and everything we'd learned and process of elimination moved me forward. It felt oddly surreal. The whole year had really been building up to this point. This was it. The big show, right here. I was doing the test. I couldn't hear angels singing or cosmos spiraling away. It was surreal in the fact that it was just a normal day, in the normal library, filling out that normal bubble sheet. It wasn't epic. And yet, to me, inside, it was the most epic thing I'd done all year.

I pushed on, and once multiple choice was done came the free response. The same feeling. This was it! I was here, doing it! The real deal! The test! Everything went into it. I pushed as hard as I could.

And then it was over. The symbolic test was finished. I sealed the packet and signed my fate over to the AP graders. A whole year of studying. All the bonds (ha!) that were made between me and Levi over the stress of the test just finally free to be happy. We were all happy for each other. We were survivors.

Now, I know I have gone on forever. But I fear that I haven't quite made this point epic enough. In any good hero story, one must overcome incalculable odds to win the day. If Hercules' twelve tasks had simply been to mow the lawn seven times, he wouldn't have been a very good hero. The fact was that his twelve tasks involved slaying a hydra, kidnapping Cerberus, obtaining some girdle and some cows, stealing some apples from some other mean guy, and all sorts of other insane stuff. This was no walk in the park. Because it was so insanely difficult, it makes a nice epic.

For a hero to kill a dragon with a tank, well, that's not so cool. For a hero to have to kill the dragon with nothing but his sword? Yeah, that's princess-saving material right there. It was just like that. For our class to go in there and beat that AP test, it was kind of like slaying a dragon with toenail clippers. We weren't handed the victory. But the truth of the matter was that we had the clippers, and that's all we needed. It was whether or not we were going to use those clippers.

Levi and I made the choice that we would slap that dragon up and down with those clippers. We put in the work, and we were rewarded for it. I know of several others that did similarly. I know of some that didn't. A few gave up. That was their choice.

But me and levi? Oh no, we're in it for the big show. No questions about it. We played that test hard, and we kicked the crap out of it.

That's why I have such a love for AP Chemistry. It wasn't handed to me, and that makes all the difference in the world.

~~~~

I will finish the rest of this post at a later date. Hooray!

Projects

Taylorsville Ultimate-

Taylorsville Alliance-

Cross Country-

The Blog-

Junior Jazz-

Jello Staple-

Social

Good Dates-

School Dances-

Formidable Aroma-

Favorite Places-

Crises

Journalism Vs. Madrigals-

Track-

Closing Remarks

On the Horizon

*may contain peanuts

Ok, so I lied about the peanuts.

But it's been a pretty excellent day, and I just wanted to share that with everybody. I hope that you're all doing well, whoever and wherever you are.

It's a beautiful evening, and it's hard to not want to share the love.

/share

There we go.

But seriously folks, keep up the good work. Together we'll make it through all this. There's a lot of excellence waiting right there on the horizon for us. Keep on truckin', we're getting there.

Beef (It's what's for dinner)

Pardon me if I've used that title before.

I've got some beef with the whole world. A bone to pick if you will. Something has upset me greatly.

I just finished watching most of "Grease" with my dear mother. It was on ABC Family. At the end of the show, I had no choice but to mimic the words of the ever wise comic-book-guy.

"Worst Episode Ever."

"I shall register my disgust upon the internet."

And here I am. Registering my disgust upon the internet.

Holy crap! How did that thing ever gain main-stream acceptance! I had never seen it before now, and now I know why! Who in their right minds would think that was a good idea? The whole show is swimming with nothing but extremely hateable characters and innuendo! There isn't simply no moral to the story, there's a freakin' anti-moral!

"Oh hi, I'm sandy, I used to be attractive. I was the good character in the show, the one you were rooting for. I'm the only character you don't hate. I'm not a skank"

"...Oh wait! End of the movie's coming up. I was about to teach you all a great moral about how you should be true to yourselves and do what's right and things will work out. I was going to be the poster girl for being wholesome. But, since there's only 5 minutes left, I need to go and dress like a skank and smoke and all that stuff so the boys will like me. I'm going to ruin the one good character we had. Let's go get drunk."

Oh great. Real good. How in the world is this thing still on the air? Fine, I know it was broadway and all that. But how come they just showed the movie? Huh? Why ABC Family, why?

Anybody who has ever said that simpsons was worse than that is insane. The whole show is run by innuendo! I mean really now, where's the point in the whole thing anyways?

Granted, I missed the middle half of it. Frankly, I'm glad that i did. I might have lost more brain cells.

"We are all now dumber for having watched that"

I'm upset. All my life I've known it was popular, it was some cultural thing. Everybody recognized it. I didn't, I'd never seen it.

And now I have, and I gotta wonder, how, how did this become a cultural icon? Why is it even recognizable? It shouldn't have ever gotten past the drawing board. There's no way it should be a classic. I don't even think it should be in the bargain bin at wal-mart!

This thing makes Ted Stevens look like a moral giant, a brilliant and eloquent orator!

The anti-moral at the end makes Brough's lectures look timid!

Two RAGING thumbs down for Grease. It wasn't just not good, it was bad. There's a bold and strong line between lacking anything good and being craptastic on purpose. Who wrote that crap? Who thought it was a good idea? Who gave that man a budget?!

In conclusion, I'm pretty sure that Grease takes the cup for worst cultural icon that I've never seen until now. Move over Peter Pan's What makes the red man red.

273

It's Wednesday, July 26, 2007. What's on my mind?

Trees. Lots of trees. Not just any trees though. We're talking slow growing, time-appreciating awesome trees.

Arborday.org

For 10 dollars (membership fee) you can get 10 trees, no shipping and handling. That's a dollar a tree. Not seeds, but little trees you can plant. For 10 bucks I could get 10 oak trees. Two Bur Oak, these are like the grandpappy of tres. They grow slow and big and awesome. And 8 other awesome kind of oak trees. How cool would that be?

Of course, I don't think that mom will spring for me planting ten trees in the yard. Maybe I could convince her to let me plant one though. Anybody want nine trees?

No seriously though, I want to plant some trees. I want to find out where I'm going to live when I'm older, and go plant trees there now. Trees increase property value and save money on heating and air conditioning. Not only that, but they're breathtaking.

So that's the plan. I'm gonna acquire some trees and plant them. If anybody's interesting in splitting 10 trees with me, let me know, because I'm pretty serious about it, providing that mom and pop are on board. Let me know.

Idea. (Been a while)

So, I've had an idea. I don't know if it's a good idea. But it's an idea nonetheless, and I think it's worth taking a look at.

We'll cut to the chase.

What if in the commons at the high school we installed a huge whiteboard with lots of markers and erasers on leashes with a big sign above it that just said "Write on me" or "Go for it" or "Edit me"?

It's a risky endeavor. What could happen? What'd be the result if you let a student body of near two thousand write and draw whatever they wanted on a whiteboard that everybody would see?

You'd have people that just try to offend others. They'd write and draw things that ought not be written nor drawn.

You'd have people that write something studid, because they can.

You'd have people that would try to write something comical, or inspiring, or a "cute" note to their friends.

You'd have people with agendas trying to get their news out. Buy the litmag!

You'd have talented folks drawing quick drawings that make people smile.

You'd have SBO's trying oh-so-hard to garner school spirit.

You'd have unoriginal folks with a classic "Shirl*, will you go with me to Sweethearts?"
*(Yes, Shirl is a man's name)

Me? What would I write? "Kyle kissed a boy"? "Poo upsidedown"? "Come to Frisbee Friday"? "Go Warrior XC" ? Or something inspiring, something noble?

I don't know what I'd write. I know for sure what I'd erase.

But who would win? The vandals or the winners? Just going off of names, I'm gonna wager the winners.

It's an interesting prospect. It gives students an unheard of level of freedom. It's a lot of trust, cause they could put some very interesting stuff up on the whiteboard. It'd be totally student regulated. If I see something I don't like, I can erase it. If somebody else sees something they don't like, they can erase it as well.

Is it worth pursuing? I honestly don't know. Who knows if the admins will go for it. I'm not convinced that it's the right thing for us to do as a high school. I just think it's worth taking a look at.

Could it raise school spirit? Yeah, I think so. It shows trust. It shows community. It's a social experiment. Above everything else, it's new and fresh. Everyday wouldn't necessarily have to be the same old, same old.

What do you guys think? Plausible, feasible? Hmmmm.

Motorboat!

So, I'm off and away for a few days to Youth Conference. I'm excited about those prospects, it's gonna be good times. It's pretty late over here, and I'm way tired. I wanted to throw some words down before I went though. I've been thinking, and it'd be a pity to lose these thoughts. Yeah, they're just my thoughts, and in reality I could journal these thoughts and be fine with it.

Ok, so I don't really want to write these thoughts. I thought I did, but I guess I don't. Huh, funny how that works, eh?

The jist of it is that it could be a solution to the problems that have been bugging me this summer. For those of you not in the know, those problems are that I'm lazy and don't make much progress in any department.

Mind you: This is just me thinking. There was once a time when I'd state this all as fact and move on with my life. But that's just not how things really work. I'm still trying to figure this out.

The main concept is centered around a verse in the B.O.M, Moroni 7:40. Everything around there is really good. It's a great chapter, really. But it talks about hope. hope is a good thing to have. I think that that's a big key right now. I've got to get some hope going on.

Maybe there'll be more to that later. For now, It's late, and I'm headed to bed. Haha! For-The-Win.

Also, the Alliance is back with an entirely new premise that is actually cool. We've got content now! There's a reason to go visit. Yea verily, it's no longer a cool concept without any stuff, it's just plain old good stuff now.

It's worth a look. If you don't like it, well, you don't ever have to visit again. But I think it's cool.

Tville Alliance

Sunday, July 15th

Blogging has changed a little bit for me lately. There is much less of a drive to post working within me these days. I am not overly concerned about it tonight, because things seem to make a lot of sense tonight.

See, in the past I've had some really strong feelings about blogging. I liked to think that it was somewhat of my duty to blog, and that by blogging I was making the world a better place.

Now whether or not other people believe that isn't the argument here. That's the way that I felt, in fact, it might still be the way I feel. I am proud of the things that I have accomplished with this blog. It's been a great tool for me, and if along the way it helped just one person have a better day or do something along those lines, it's served its purpose.

I have certain things that I want to accomplish with my life. One of the big things that I want to do is help people. More specifically, I want to help individuals. I don't like when people write like this, but it's an important factor in my life.

Which brings us back to the blog. Did it ever do that? One could argue. I believe that it did, and that makes me very happy. That's not the exclusive reason why I did the things that I did, but I'm glad of it.

Many of you at this point might be wondering why I'm writing this. This is not a farewell post. It's more of an explanation and exploration post.

I think there may be a shift in my life coming. A transition from the blog being a very important part of how I communicate with the world to more personal, individual communication. This is not a prediction or foreshadow or anything of the sort, I'm just saying that it might happen. I sort of see it happening already, but we'll see.

That'd definitely mean changes for me and my current style. I absolutely love talking to people. A few nights ago me and Nick got to have a really good talk. I'm really glad that we got to have it, it was good for me and him both. I love talks like that, and I think that they're important for everybody. I do believe that more of those are in order. One will have to work on that.

This blog, at times, has been sort of like an imaginary friend to me. If I'm upset or particularly excited about it I can come and write and explain things. It's a way to communicate feelings with what feels like an audience. Whether or not there truly is an audience is never entirely determined until later. But one can communicate the important feelings of the day to the ever faithful 'create post' window.

There is much that I've thought about today. I've had some really good discussions with my mom and dad and Michael. A lot about the future, a lot about how I want to live my life right now and in the future as well. And therefore there's a lot that I could write here. I could talk a lot about soda pop and water and compost heaps and all that. About how I think you should live your life. About how I want to live my life. What I want to study, what I want to do. The differences between my situation and my brothers. All important things to me right now.

But I feel good enough that I don't think that this is the place for all that right now. I think that there'll be a time for it. A season, if you will. I do love the idea of seasons.

There's a lot out there. Tonight is an excellent night because I feel calm and open-eyed. I want to go for a walk, but it's 1 AM. Feels earlier though.

I think we're going to be alright. The future looks amazing. There's a lot of brightness out there. There's a lot of good stuff being lined up for us. Opportunities await. There's a lot that we can accomplish, a lot of good that we can do for people.

I often wonder about good. Does doing good do any good if it doesn't last?

There's a lot of good that we can do. And it will last. And it is important. And even if it's not a permanent solution, fixing something for a moment is good. Making someone smile, just for a minute, is important. I hope that this comes off right. It's not my usual style. I don't want to sound like I think I've got this figured out, because I don't. But I think it's what I want to say tonight.

Good. I want to do good. And I want things to be good. I want to be a more helpful person. I want to influence more people's lives for good. How am I going to do that?

I've got some ideas. Normally I'd write a list here. I don't necessarily feel like a list here. But I've got some ideas. And I'ma work with them.

Just know, if you ever need something, I'm here. I'm ready to talk. Give me a call, tell me and we'll go take a walk on the parkway. Man or woman, Nick or Kyle. I want to be there if somebody needs it, so here and there I am.

We're gonna be alright friends. The future looks astoundingly bright.

Water - Unfinished

I decided to write a few paragraphs to start the next little water doober. This might be temporary, but either way, here it is.

~

Ending a chapter with "...and then everything changed forever" has always been bad practice. Even prehistoric authors writing on cave walls felt it left a bad mark on their petroglpyhs. By the time Plato began his lectures on spelunking, "...and then everything changed forever", had been used as a quasi-cliffhanger so many times that it had prompted the entire city-state of Athens to forbid its use in any oral or literary form. Yeah, it's that old.

The author of this piece graciously acknowledges that information. It was after several moments of great caution, with an emphasis on deliberation and serious self reflection that the aforementioned line was approved for inclusion in the piece.

How else, the author concluded, could one adequately capture and portray the utter awkwardness of the whole situation at hand? Copeman Leeds, driving down the motorway, and suddenly his seatbelt didn't fit comfortably.

Things "suddenly" happen to ordinary people. Somebody writes about it. But Copeman wasn't ordinary and Copeman knew he wasn't ordinary. It was therefore unfortunate, as he saw it, that this seatbelt problem had arisen with such a queer sense of velocity.

~

Water - Ordinary

Stories don't start with someone extraordinary, and thus it is fitting that this story neither begins nor ends with Copeman Leeds.

He was a toaster advocate. When he gave friends and associates three guesses as to what his profession was, nobody ever got it right. As far as Leeds knew, he was the only one of his kind in the world.

Leeds had a quest. Ordinary people, when they heard his extraordinary plan, were never quite convinced he wasn't off his rocker. It was an admittedly ambitious plan, a long term endeavor that Leeds would never see come to fruition. He accepted that; it was his plan.

Leeds wasn't necessarily a brilliant fellow, but in some regards he could beat a dog at a game of chess. He didn't possess the hyper-focus that allowed some individuals to solve the great problems of the universe regarding the space time continuum. No, Leeds wasn't Newton or Einstein or even Richard Feynman. What set Leeds apart as an extraordinary individual was his ability and willingness to see the whole picture and act on what he saw.

He knew what he wanted, and he saw toasters as the means to obtain it.

One day as Leeds hungered in his youth he went to the freezer. A foreign package awaited him there, something he'd never seen in his freezer before. They were Eggos. Delicious and wholesome Eggos. He'd seen them advertised for years, but his family wasn't the type to go out and buy Eggos. He had wanted them when he saw the commercials as a lad, but he had accepted the fact that the path his family chose did not include the pseudo-waffles. L'eggo my eggo, the commercials said. L'eggo my dreams, thought Leeds.

But the fact remained that suddenly there were Eggo's in his freezer. He was hungry, and he had a strong faith that the Eggo's would remedy that. He selected a few and rushed off to the toaster. He knew a bit about the comestibles from the television commercials, and thus he understood that the toaster was the next step in the evolution from waffle to juices in his stomach. He inserted the circular goodness and depressed the lever to begin the toasting process. Life for the youthful Leeds was excellent.

There arose a serious problem. Leeds didn't know how long to toast the Eggos. His toaster, which so brilliantly detected when bread was done toasting, didn't know how long the Eggos needed crisping either. Frantically he checked the packaging. Packaging always told how long to toast things. He found no answers there. He longed for some sign from the manufacturers, some morsel of knowledge that simply said, "Toast on seven for a minute and a half." Was that so much to ask?

Leeds was globally-aware enough to realize that it was. Toasters are different. A seven on his Kenmore on the counter wasn't the same as the seven on Hernando Sanchez's Toastmaster he kept next to his desktop. Asking the fine makers of Eggos to somehow know exactly which number to turn the dial to on his individual toaster was madness.

But Leeds, no longer concerned about the now browning and smoking status of his Eggos, had an epiphany. Why is the seven on my toaster different from any other toaster? There's really no reason for it. What does my seven mean? What does my eight mean? Why does that toaster go to eleven when mine only goes to nine? There's no logic behind the system! There's a better way, surely!

Leeds knew it. There was no denying it: the toaster industry needed reform. He had known it was coming for a long time. He had seen the problems in other industries before. Why the Americans were still using the English system of measurement he had no idea. There was no reason that Leeds couldn't find out how long to toast his Eggo and on what dial setting. No reason, other than the fact that the toaster industry had no definable standards or leaders. There was no government there; only toast.

That was many years ago. Our extraordinary specimen of a man had been on his quest for three months now. Of course he had been planning long before the actual launch date. He went through college and formed relationships and networks. He led a life, and a fairly successful life at that. All that aside, he took his questing seriously.

Leeds' plan was unique in that it started with toasters. He fully expected that the world would change because of his plan. Nobody else, with such a lofty goal, had ever started with toasters before. He was forging a new path here. And, if he was successful, nobody would ever have to forge that same new ground again. Oh yes, Leeds was in it for reals.

The world needed to be more unified. Not unified as in government peaceful happy unified, but unified in the "let's work together to make sure I weigh the same in Thailand as I do in Canada" unified. Leeds knew his history. He knew about the World Wars, and why the Americans sided with one side over the other. The ties that bound them; the world needed more ties. Having the same number on your toasters was a big step to helping people realize that the Asians were just the same as the Germans deep down.

He would start with the toaster industry. He'd work as long as it took to get all the big names in bread-conversion to make a standard on their number system. He didn't really care what form it took, he just knew that it was needed. He'd document everything that he did, keeping careful record. After all the work, when everything was done, he'd publish it. He'd push his little envelope through every medium he could find. Online, scholarly journals, public broadcasting; everybody would know that the toaster industry had finally found its soul and become standardized. Then, once the masses were enlightened, he'd hit them with the winner shot. "Why, if the toaster industry can come together to make a logical method for telling how brown you want you toast, can't the Americans find a logical way to use the metric system? Why can't we find a decent way to communicate with each other? Why can't we make coal mining in China follow the same rules at Coal mining in the Nile Delta? Why must we fight?"

And then, after the emotional appeal that would be sure to woo the audiences, Leeds would fade into the distance. He was not the one to change the world, he was the one to start the ball rolling. He knew that he couldn't do it for them, he just had to help them realize that they had the power and the obligation to do it themselves.

It was ambitious. It was almost crazy. And yet, it would work. Leeds knew it. Anybody willing to listen to him and really give it a shot knew it. It was so out there that it was stunningly perfect. The toaster industry: it was the only logical place to start.

Leeds had just gotten out of a meeting with the big wigs at Honcho Home Appliances. Nobody truly appreciated how hard it was for Leeds to actually get an appointment with those guys. "Hi, I'm Copeman Leeds, I'm the world's foremost toast advocate. I've detected a serious problem with the dial you are using in your toaster models, and I think I've got a lot of insight onto how you could increase your business and save the world. Can I have 25 minutes to have a discussion with you about it?"

None of them took him serious in the beginning. It was a long process, but Leeds was actually seeing success. He knew it would come eventually, but the naysayers were surprised. They didn't matter to Leeds much though.

"Look mister, if we started using your standard for dial numbers, we'd have to have one through 55 plastered on every toaster! This is no Proctor-silex, this is a Honcho toaster. We could brown an entire buffalo in 66 seconds. Your scale just isn't big enough for us. Not only that, but we're very happy with our current number system. I appreciate the time you've taken to decieve my receptionist enough to make her let you through that door over there, but I'm just gonna have to ask you to leave. Take care now."

Texans, always with their reluctance to put one through 55 on their toasters. Another day, another rejection. It didn't matter. The time would come.

He was driving, pondering the plan, as usual. The plan wasn't his whole life. He was going home to his family. They loved him, and he loved them. It was a good arrangement really. He got on the motorway, and then everything changed forever.

Picture 0014

Yeah, that's a sand fortress. It's main function is to turn back the pacific ocean. Just in case you didn't pick that up by seeing the giant walls and all. Pretty effective, I daresay.

263 - Pride

The title, one of my favorite parts of any post. Oddly missing from this one. I had this thought, a breakthrough, and had to post it. And yet here I am. With a post, and without a title. Quite the contrast.

In a way this post will consist of 50% recycled material. You can thank me later Mr. Gore. The breakthrough though, it's in the other 50.

This summer has been hard for me. Hard, simply because it's been so easy. There are some days when I haven't done a thing, and that disappoints me.

Conversely there have been some excellent days and weeks. By no means has this summer been a failure thus far-- it's just not been as manly as it could have been.

(That's the old 50%. Here comes the new)

Jaron wrote a post about his Music dreams and all that stuff. He talked about making an album, writing songs, all that cool business. It was nice to read because it was just straight up. Here's what I want to do, and here's how I'm going to do it. Bam.

In effect, you could say that it inspired me. Jaron's out there following his dreams. I looked at myself in the mirror while shaving and thought, "Why are my dreams going unchased? That's the problem!"

It felt good to have that thought. All the sudden there were options. Like the man said, if I want something, I got to want it bad. I've got to want to chase my dreams with a vengeance.

A few moments later though, I had found yet another road block. What were my dreams? To be honest, I couldn't think of any.

And there, in that brief moment between shaving cream and three or four razor-blades, the path opened back up. Maybe it was the insulin, maybe it was the smooth face, but I felt rejuvenated.

Realizations don't mean results, but they sure mean a lot more than a simple shave.

So what's the plan?

Somewhere around the end of third quarter and the start of fourth I was really pushing it. Homework was fierce, AP tests looming like so many looms in the English textile industry. I was pressed, but I wasn't ever defeated. In a way it was the best time of my life. So hard, but yet so rewarding. One night as I listened to Insideout, like I so often did during those days, I came across crazy.

Oh, we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy

I adopted it as my unofficial motto for the weeks to follow. Life was crazy and raging. Mounds of paper conspired against me, but I leveled up as I hacked and slashed my way through them. What I was doing was something I'd never done before. I knew it was possible, but I'd never proved it myself. Hesitation and doubt didn't fit into the schedule. I knew that the only way to survive, well, was to get a little crazy.

And so I did. The image comes to mind of Hai Ho jumping off the diving board during a friday cross training workout in the pool during summer XC last year. Hai Ho, our little asian buddy, was eager to show us his mad skills. Never known to be the most graceful or athletic animal on the team, he was loved by all. he stepped to the board, did a little warm up, and with nearly no vertical jump propelled himself forward off the board, spinning on at least two axes with arms outstretched like a man excited to hit that water.

The only way to beat the classes, the obligations and survive was to jump in head first spinning like crazy. Hai Ho had shown me the way in water, now it was time for me to forge the path through Princeton.

I did it, and I did it crazy. Maybe this is out of line, maybe it's whatever, but I am proud of what I did. I am happy with the choices that I made during those trying weeks. When it was up to me, I rose to the challenge.

Did I fall? Yeah, all the time. Some nights just didn't see the studying or the working out that I said I'd put in. Some days I was mean. My language wasn't as clean as I wanted it to be. There were problems with those weeks. With the flaws I had to keep pressing on. I couldn't give up, I just had to adapt and fix the problems.

Crazy. That was the only way we made it happen. Launched head first into the waves. Not on someone else's word or will, but by my own volition. Hit the waves swimming and running, falling occasionally, but getting back up and fighting back.

Am I proud of it? Yeah, I am. I had a challenge, and I feel like I rose to the day. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this to boast or be arrogant. It doesn't really matter that you know this part of my life, but it's the way things are, and I'm writing it.

Why is it important to me? Here, on 4 July 2007, why is it crucial? Because here I am on the banks once again. Staring into the deep, taking those deep breaths.

But this time it's not a frothy tempest demanding attention and power on all sides. The sea is calm and arrogant. It stands before me with that smug look on its face that always seems to say, "Prove it. Prove you're who you want to be. Make me do it."

The sea is wide, nearly limitless. Waiting for me to tame it, to shape it and make it do my will. It's not the one throwing the punches this time. I'm the man with the gloves, and it feels like I'm about to box a glacier.

It's not like the glacier is going to counter my moves. It's just that it's a glacier. It's big and unmoving. To the glacier, it doesn't really matter whether I punch it or have a picnic in its shadow. It's a glacier, it's going to be there for a while.

But the picnic route just isn't good enough for me. It's simply not crazy.

The glacier, this arrogant sea that begs to be denied, it's going down. I will rise up. I will prove it. I will be the man I want to be. Taylorsville's pool couldn't stop Hai Ho from smashing it to pieces with his crazy dive, and this summer won't stand in my way.

It's been three weeks of not making it happen. Minus Mondays, three days spent making money, and three days for dates. That's 12 foiled days.

Hey Summer, right now it's 16 to 12, me. PLC week, plus the good stuff. That's right. I'm already winning. And you know what? I'm just getting started.

How am I going to do it? What secret moves will I pull off to pants Summer and laugh at it? All it's gonna take is a dream or two.

I've got a title.

I'm going to find out where I want to go, and I'm going to run, bite, and swim as hard as I can to get there. Right now I don't know where that's gonna be. The diving board has held me glued for long enough. Ladies. Gentlemen. Friends. It's go time.

Oh, we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy

Lingo

Must defeat the bad guys! Summer is so slow. I'm about as unproductive as a genetically modified hippopotamus that's designed to be unproductive (and that's pretty unproductive).

I must defeat the bad guys! Something good, tomorrow? I sure hope so.

Song of the week 1

Life is Beautiful - Vega4

*note, the video has some political messages in it. They do not necessarily represent what I think. The important part: the music.

Potomac

Sometimes when I can't think of a title, I just look at the keyboard until I find a particular letter I like. Then I'll try out the first few words that come to my mind that start with that letter. Today: Potomac.

What's the deal? There's ups and downs and confusing middles. Life, like we've discussed earlier, always comes at me in cycles.

One cycle that I've played through a few times is the Ultimate cycle. I traverse the amplitude between wanting to be super competitive about it all, or just keeping it relaxed and fun on Friday nights.

Most of this week I wanted to push the limits and be competitive. I wanted to play other high schools, maybe do summer or fall city league.

But I think we're now on the backswing of that cycle. Right now I'm thinking that we should appreciate Ultimate for what it is and use it as we've got it. Why do we need to blow Murray out of the water? Wouldn't we rather chill on a clear Friday night?

Odd mood tonight. Something's a little off. This summer, so far, has been less than what I wanted it to be. There have been some extremely excellent moments though. PLC was amazing. There's something glorious about the whole week. I have nothing but love for PLC. I've been on a few really cool dates, run a few great runs, and started moving forward on council stuff, which I absolutely love.

And, thinking about those things, summer's been alright.

The only reason that I am not enamored with this summer like I want to be is because I'm doing less work than I usually am. During school I'm constantly required to progress. I've got to learn something or complete a project or do whatever. Today, not so much.

Another factor, the human factor, plays a large role in summer. I just don't see people as often as I do during the school year. I know that this is partly (largely) my fault. I'm not quite sure why I'm like that though. I love to be with people. Somedays, for whatever reasons, I don't make a great effort to pull it off though. Those are disappointing days.

So how do I fix the problem? There's no use in having a problem if one is not going to make an effort to fix it. What's the key?

Obviously, be with people more. Work. Then work harder.

There are things going for me right now. I love those, and I'm going to work hard on those.

I need to go running more. Running makes my life better. I'm gonna do that.

I need to be around people more. Maybe I'll start taking people up on offers. Maybe I'll start making my own offers.

Tonight is a night. There's no question about it. And, as such, I am inhabiting tonight. The feelings of tonight, just like the feelings of last night, are important and real. I have a healthy respect for tonight.

But what about tomorrow night? Do I respect tomorrow night's feelings? Maybe I fear tomorrow night's feelings, because they will invariably be different than tonight's.

The question then, is whether or not these are good feelings. Are they productive? Do they serve a purpose? More importantly, what do they move me to do? Do they make me want to do good things, or bad things, or no things? What's the point behind them?

This post is sort of like all those other deep posts. Except that this one just isn't as cool. Which is alright. Because that's not the point of it.

Which, once again, begs the question: what's the point?

I want some rain. And I want to go downtown. I think I'd like some rain while I'm downtown.

I also want my AP scores. Ah, those were the days.

I think I want to just dig a hole. There's something extremely satisfying about using that shovel and creating a massless gap in the crust. The trouble is that I've never really had a good reason to dig a hole. Maybe if I had a reason to dig the hole...

So.... what's the news? Hmm, that's odd. I think I'm smiling a little bit. Yeah. Huh. And I don't really know why. But I am, as a passive sort of deal. Puzzling, yet not unwelcome.

I wouldn't mind a broadsword right about now. You know, for a quest and all that.

It's 1:50 right now. There's still a little time left to save it. It was good to see people tonight. Good to hang out with my family a bit. Tomorrow looks like a pretty decent day. I'm really excited for Sunday, that's going to be an even better day.

I wish that there was a pandora for moods instead of musical genres.

After all, at least we'll be safe from bears.

259

Remember how I used to say I've got a bad case of Ultimate dreaming?

It's now been replaced with Ultimate frothing at the mouth.

Carry on.

Time (Kill it!)

So, I got a few minutes. Well, really, I've had most of the day. But since I want to post more, I've decided that I'm probably going to have to start posting at times of the day that aren't 1 am.

So, here we are, at an unprecedented 5:57 PM.

Since it's not the end of the day I'm not in my usual pondering mood. I am, however, in my music listening to mood. Without further ado, me spouting random stuff about bands and songs I like.

Super good bands:

• Goo Goo Dolls
• Matchbox 20
• BNL
• Insideout

Now, this isn't the complete listing of awesome bands. They're just the four I want to mention right now.

Goo Goo Dolls are pro because they've got good songs. Very respectable songs. Whenever one of their songs comes on, it's like "Bam, good song." Example: Iris. Real good song. It's more downbeat though. They've got some up stuff, like slide. That's a good one too. Important to mention is "Better days." One of the more powerful songs I've heard in a while. That's the one I listen to when I want to cry. Haha, just kidding about that last one.

Matchbox 20 is sort of like Isaac Halliday. When everything else lets you down, matchbox will always be there. Super dependable. Always pulling through with a good song. 2 AM, (or is it 3, I don't even know) Real World (one of my favorites) push, all that other good stuff. Yeah, always pulling through with a good song. I dig.

BNL (you all know what the acronym means) are fully clothed canadian men. Not only that, but they're really good at that whole music thing. I haven't heard too much of their recent stuff, but their old school music is primo. What I really like is that they've got their super popular songs, and then their other stuff that isn't as popular but that I really like as well. They've got good music, it's just fun to listen to. Some good messages. I like.

Insideout, obviously the least popular band here, started out local at BYU. They're acapella. If you ever hear me or kyle running around singing something odd, we're probably singing insideout. Right now me, kyle, austin, P-thor, Rick, and Brad are working on learning one of their songs that they offer sheet music for. They're super talented, and their music just makes you feel good. Mmm mmm.

The four bands I wanted to talk about---> talked about.

On to random songs I really like.

First on the list is drops of jupiter, by train. Just a good song.

Someday, by Sugar Ray. That's a good one too.

Hmm. Different writing style. Not something I usually write about. I say "Good song" a lot. But you know what, it's 6:07, I'm allowed to write different.

Ha!

The Ok Alarm

It's a new kind of alarm. It'll beep loudly once every three seconds if everything is ok. If it's not beeping, things aren't ok.

The good news---> it's beeping.

Far

Outcome

The plan, so far, hasn't been working like I want it to.

For various reasons, there have been no super awesome posts. I do wish to remedy this.

Summer is an interesting time of year. Right now there is very little structure to the way my life is. I am essentially free to make almost all my own choices. There's no school, no practices, no job, not much of anything.

It's puts me in a very enlightening phase of my life.

For all my life I've wanted sink or swim. I've always wanted to prove that when it was all up to me, I could pull it off and make it happen.

We all know that it's not up to me. I've got my family, my friends, and, if you believe it like I do, heavenly forces helping me out.

This week hasn't been the greatest week of my life. But it's Thursday night. There's time yet to turn it around.

This time, right now, it's time to make it happen. Nobody's going to make it happen for me. If I'm going to go, I gotta go.

Where do the answers lie?

The genuine truth, the answers, they're going to lie in hard work. Nothing else will get you or I what we want.

It's summer, and the ball is in my court. What I do with it will determine the outcome. It's not all about me, I'm not the only one playing right now. But nobody else can make it happen for me. Nobody's gonna change my life, nobody's gonna make me jump higher but me.

The choice is mine. The power to choose my own destiny is mine, right here and now.

The past has gotten me as far as I am today. The choices of today will determine the launchpad of tomorrow.

Maybe June 21 didn't get me anywhere.

But here's to you, June 22. Let's make it happen.

11 Minutes, Go!

I have 11 minutes, what am I going to talk about?

I don't know, but I haven't posted as much as I'd like to lately, so I'm just going to fly with it.

As many of you know, I recently decided to not participate in the 2007 Warrior Cross Country team. I understand that a lot of people aren't super excited about this decision. The truth is that I know it's the right thing for me to do. It's not easy for me to walk, and I'm sure it's not easy on the team to have me jump out on them. There's a lot of reasons for me doing it.

I don't have much time now, but I'll probably explain it more later. Just know that it's the right thing for me to do, and that things are going to be dandy for everybody. The team will survive and do awesome this season. I'll survive, stay in shape, and do awesome as well. Life is going to be good, it's just going to be a little different.

625 baby. I can't wait for mid july. Yumm, food time.

Handprint

I don't have too much to say tonight. Just a quiet night, the inevitable crash after endorphin-land.

But there are some times when all I really want to do is put my hand up against the computer monitor and have that make sense. While I don't appreciate the oil on the glass, it seems like it's a decent way to get the message across.

So far it's never worked. Last time I tried it I had to paint my hand with messengers drawing function. This time I tried a picture. What's it mean? It doesn't really matter, and I couldn't really explain anyways. It's a hand, c'mon.

There it is. Keep up the good work Taylorsville. I think we're moving forward. We've got our ups and downs, but we're getting there. There's work to be done. I think I missed some opportunities this week, and that hurts a little bit.

Here's to you Friday night. Don't stop believin'

Manly

This morning I had the opportunity to cover for my mom at work while she helped my sister with her bridal pictures. My mom, who I love dearly, works in a little girls dress store. The dresses are made in San Francisco then shipped her to be sold in malls. Not too hard of a job, all I really had to do was run the sales. Somebody wants to buy a dress, I step in and make it happen. In theory.

Here's the transcript from the journal I kept. Hope you enjoy.

~

10:06 Am - Just got started, reviewed all the stuff I've got to do. Clear as mud. I hope no one comes in. I'm currently being paid to sit in a chair and write in my notebook. Two old ladies just passed by. I panicked, I thought they'd come in. But they didn't. Whew.

10:09 Am - Good some on B98.7. Makes me wonder why I only wanna listen to love songs after dark after frisbee friday... still a good song.

10:10 Am - I think I'll paint something for mom sometime today. I'm gonna sketch some ideas first though.

10:12 Am - A guy with a hat that says "Terminator just walked by... gasp! A lady just walked in mid write, and is like "Do you sell only girls?" and I'm like "As far as I know... wait! There's a tuxedo over there, in white!" then she left. 2 more customers. Woman and man. Man wants to be here as much as I do. Deep breaths. Oooh, another good song. They're gonna buy something. Deep breaths.

10:37 Am - Oh man, I survived. She was so nice, best customer ever. She was super friendly, and helped me out everywhere I needed help. I had to call for a dress check, and then I'm like, uhh, I don't know how to describe it... so she takes the phone and describes it for me, that was nice. She was patient, and totally reminded me when I needed it in a super nice way. I wanna be like her when I grow up. Yay for nice people!

10:44 Am - Just called my mom to tell her how good I did, yay! Man, another good song on the radio! I think it's five for fighting, so freaking good. "There's a reason for the world --> You and I." So good! Five for fighting - the riddle.

10:55 Am - I just got a fax from David (The Asian in San Francisco), saying he couldn't read the fax I sent him, so I redid it. Nice david, sending me the note and all. This job makes me feel important/special. Still really liking B98.7, pretty good. Gonna make it a preset once I hit the van.

11:19 Am - A lady just came in, doesn't look too serious. Just wrote out a TON of awesome ideas for heroes* (That means water). So excited about that, i've got some epic ideas. I almost wanna hire a professional writer to do this, I don't feel like I can do it justice. I'll try though, so cool.

11:24 Am - She was nice, just left. No complaints.

11:37 Am - Believe by cher is on. One of my favorite songs of the month. New lady in here, w/ kids. She snuck in while I was writing. Mmm, just left, new ones. Left, new lady. They come in waves. "How cute!" .... "You would." So freakin' excited about these water ideas. Rascal flats, what hurts the most? Yep.

12:32 Pm - Just made another sale, woot. Mom gets here in 15 minutes. Another frendly lady, from Idaho. Feeling pretty good about how today has been. No big mistakes, Hooray!

12:47 Pm - She's here! Hooray! Off to the barbecue

And there you have it, my day selling dresses. I was real successful, which was way cool. No complaints there. I did have to call my mom on the first sale I made to figure out how to do a credit card, but after that I had it down.

I spent a lot of time brainstorming and writing stuff for Water. I don't want to get anybody's hopes up, but it was looking really nice. I've got awesome and strong ideas up there, now it's just a matter of sharing. I almost wish I could just tell the story without having to write it down, all the details. I just want to ruin the ending right now. It was cool to notebook it though, getting all the characters down. All the sudden it changed from just an awesome scenario with cool play-outs to a genuine struggle with personal people that I started to care about. The characters started to gain a little bit of complexity, it was cool. The whole concept just makes me way happy. If it never gets written down, I want to explain it all to somebody one day so they can write it, it just makes me happy.

It's funny how many transformations the whole idea has gone through though. It initially started as something totally different. Every time I mow the lawn the thing changes. I think it's pretty stable right now though, considering I've got ideas on paper now. It makes me happy. Maybe I'll write something next week, I hope so.

In any event it's been a pretty good day. I made some money and had some fun. I hope I can keep moving ahead like this, it's feeling pretty good. There's still a lot of work to be done, but with a little help I think it can be handled. Here's to you summer~

Scoober

Post 250, hooray! Here's to a million more.

As I sat this evening and looked at the clock, I realized that it was very late and that I hadn't really done anything with my day. I decided to re-check wikipedia's list of Ultimate throws, to see if there were any new ones I could work on. Our little group has got quite a few throws down, and our creative juices have worked hard to make sure that there's no possible way to accelerate a disk that we haven't thought of.

Lo and behold, there were at least three that I'd never seen before. The scoober, the thumber, and the viggiano. While we did have throws that we called the scoober and the thumber, those aren't the same throws that wikipedia talks about. I was super curious to figure out what they were all about, so I read up on them. It was pretty confusing because of all the lingo, and trying to visualize what they were talking about was nearly impossible. They had a few pictures, but nothing that helped. I really wanted to get it through, so I kept pounding on it.

Eventually I just had to stand up, grab a disc, and try it out myself. Step by step I read the lines and followed the instructions. After a few tries it finally made sense. I actually got it, I made it work, and I've got a new trick to show everybody come Friday night.

Finally getting the idea behind the throw was such a good feeling. It's one of those feelings that only comes around once a month. I call it my "C-Two-H-Two-Oooooooooooh!" feeling. You know that feeling where you stare at that chemistry problem for half an hour, knowing that there's an answer but being unable to find it? You stand up, get a drink, and come back to staring. 22 minutes later you find a trail, and excitedly you rush to follow it. Calculation after calculation follows. It fills up half the page, your TI-86 is on fire with more decimals than any chemist would ever need. Sweating from excitement and number-crashing you hit enter the last time, and there, standing before you in beautiful black pixels is the answer. You check to make sure it's reasonable, and bam, there it is. The number, the answer, the key. You pulled it off, against the odds. You slew the giant. 52 minutes, all but eight of them spent scraping and scraping to find a hole. You pulled it off, you're amazing.

It was that rush. I was so excited, I ran to tell my big brother. He was asleep, so I told my sister. It didn't matter though, I was giddy as a school girl. I figured it out.

A little while later I had a thought. It was quite the thought, if I do say so myself.

I thought to myself, "why not make an Ultimate knowledge base? You know, a website of sorts that shows step by step how to throw, with pictures and video, so nobody else has to fight through so much jargon on wikipedia?"

And then I thought, "Yeah, that's an excellent idea."

So that's my proposition of the day. I could make an Ultimate knowledge base, and share all the stuff that we've figured out. It'd be just like Kyle or I standing there next to you teaching you how to do stuff, but it'd be online, so you could check it out from the comfort of your chair, and you wouldn't even have to smell me or Kyle.

It'd be a good project for me this summer, and I could get everybody to help with it. The site could be pretty extensive; there's a lot to cover. Because I feel like a list, here's a list.

• Throws section. This is where we'd show how to pull off every throw that we know. As we learn more, we'd add more. They'd be seperated into game-time throws and novelty throws. There'd be step by step instructions, with pictures every single step of the way, and then in-depth video at the end showing it done in its entirety. It'd be explained a million different ways, to make sure it'd be impossible to not get it. Oh yeah, it'd be a pretty in depth throw section.
  
  
• Catches. This would obviously be smaller, but it's important to have its own section. We'd talk about the pancake, and have pictures and video of how to pull that off. We'd explain why it's so important to do it that way. Then we'd show how to catch high ones and low ones. Then we'd cover novelty catches. Same basic concept as above.
  
  
• Gameplay. We'd have an easy run down of the rules, along with visuals. We'd talk a little bit about spirit of the game, and then we'd show people how to make gameplay work. Some strategies, the stack (if we choose to figure it out) and some other stuff like that. Make it understandable to new people.
  
  
• Discs. This will be a cool part, because it'd just be a link repository of where to get good discs for cheap. We'd recommend the flashflight and the ultrastar. We'd explain why you need those discs.
  
  
• Drills. This is one thing we'd have to work on, but we'd have some programs (once we figure them out) of how to make people better Ultimate players. We'd really have two different kinds, the game play kind, and the athletic kind. We'd show people how to cut, and give them a cutting drill. We'd give people a workout to make them jump higher, and we'd have video explaining everything. Step by step, easy easy.
  
  
• Physics. This is probably my favorite part. My theory is that if people understand the physics behind the disc, they can make the disc do what they want. In order to throw well, you've got to be able to understand why the disc flies. This satisfies the nerdy demands that I have. It starts with T, and rhymes with dork.

That's probably not all, but that's what I can think of right now. It'd be pretty easy to pull off, I could even make it happen with a new blog or freewebs. I know a lot of you are thinking that stuff like this is already out there. You're totally right, it is. It's just not out there done by me. There's stuff like this that's probably better than what I can do, but that's not the point. The point is that I have a knowledge base here, and I want to share it. I have the resources to do so. I will phrase my stuff differently than the next guy. It's that difference that will help people. Maybe one guy can learn great from wikipedia, and maybe the next guy will learn great from me once he can't understand the wikipedia.

Basically: I want an excuse to talk a little bit more about Ultimate.

I don't know, I think it could be a cool deal. If nothing else it'd give me a chance to get a little bit more into it. It could help people, if it got traffic. It doesn't really matter if it doesn't though, as long as I know that it's there. Could be a cool deal.

I'm in quite the ultimate mood lately. Been thinking about it a lot, how I want to be a better player and all. That's one thing that I'd really love. I know that I'm decent right now, maybe even good. But I'd love to just dominate. I'd love to transition well and run faster and jump higher. It's something that I'm going to work on, because I really want to be better. I am happy with the progress I've made so far, it makes me really excited. But wow, I'm going to push the limits.

I think tomorrow I'll post my official run down on Frisbee Friday. The pros, the cons, all that. Nick did something similar, but I want to go a little deeper on it. It's an evaluation, something that they talk about at PLC. By sitting down and evaluating stuff, you can find out how to make it better. If one never sits down to think about what just happened, one can never really make any progress on it.

Sitting down and thinking about stuff is brilliant. I love doing it. So much good always comes from it. Maybe that's why I love meetings so much. You take the combined wisdom of everybody involved and figure out what you can do better. Oh yeah, it's good stuff.

Super super, it's time for bed. Maybe this Ultimate knowledge base will fly, maybe it won't. Either way, I'm really looking forward to Friday night: I got a new throw to show off.

Stalwart

Happy Sunday evening everybody. Just a few random thoughts for tonight.

I'm very bad at complimenting girls. I know there's so much to compliment, and I always want to express my great respect for them when they do awesome things. Problem is, I'm so conditioned to complimenting guys that I end up telling the girls that their throw was manly, or that they're a stud. I figure they know what I mean, but I got to work on that.

Paint is really really cool. I'm way happy with how my flying man turned out. Yeah, it does look like the flying peter petrelli picture from heroes. It's not a rip off though, it's just what came out. I can't really paint all that well, but it does always make me happy. I like it.

Just a thought-> I'm looking at my options for employment this summer, and right now things are wide open. If any of you know of anywhere that's hiring, or anybody that wants a good able-bodied manly man to work for them, let me know, eh? If where you work is looking for somebody, I'd love to check out the option. I'm open to pretty much anything, so let me know if you want.

Mr. Rogers was a very impressive guy. Whenever I think about him or read about him I can't help but admire the person that he was. I have absolutely nothing but love and respect for him. If the world had a little bit more Mr. Rogers in it, we'd all be doing a little bit better. Don't forget the gentle guy.

There's something super awesome about having something waiting for you. At PLC, I smiled a ton because I knew that once I got home I had a nice clean room waiting for me. It seems small and stupid, but it was a big deal to me. It was so nice to have that little poster waiting for me too, that made me pretty happy.

I'm going to work on taking it to the limits. You've all heard me talk about it, and chances are I'll just keep talking about it. You know the plan, it's going to be intense.

I think I'm also gonna work on some more water. It's been forever, and I've had some cool ideas. No promises, but it's something I'd like to pursue.

This cat is headed to bed, I hope you're all doing well. Good luck in your various pursuits, I'll catch you all later.

Leg Shaving - The End of the World

This was my final project for my junior English class. I edited it all during one day, spent a few days filming before that. It was a rush job, but I'm proud of how it turned out. Science, once again, was on my side for this one.

I hope you enjoy.

Ockham Rival

The Start of Something Good

Hey mystery blank, I'm back.

Life has been pretty intense lately. I've been hustling. There's been a lot to do, a bunch of stuff on my end game list.

See, I made this list of things I'd have to do in order to get out of school alive this year. As I finished them I'd check them off. After school came PLC.

I just checked PLC off the list, and now here I am.

Without a list.

So I made a new list. Not a list of things I've got to do, but a list of things I want to do. It's not like I didn't want to do the things that were on my other list, because I did. It's just that this list is going to be things that I'm pushing for. I've got some genuine free time on my hands here, and I'm gonna take it and run with it.

What's on my list of things to do? I'm gonna put a fire pit in the backyard. Me and my dad have talked about it, and I think we're gonna make it happen. It'll be fun and useful. We've got a never ending supply of fire wood and all sorts of occasions to start fires. I love to engineer and build a one-match-wonder. I tried up at PLC, totally failed. But it's something I like to do, and having a fire pit has social advantages. We've got the location, we've got the desire, now all we need is a day to do it. Whoosh.

You know, I didn't write much this past month. I could throw excuses around like so much dollar menu food, but that's not the point. It's in the past. I didn't take the chance I had to write.

But I'm going to start taking that chance. I'm going to write more. The honest truth here is that no matter what I say, whether or not posts show up will speak for itself. Will I really write? You'll see.

My life is moving along. There's a lot of work to be done, but I'm excited to go tackle it. I cleaned my room, it's so awesome. I've got a ton more room now, and that means I can get genuine whiteboard space on the wall now. Whiteboards make everything more efficient. I'm ready to make a list, look at me go.

Good things are on the horizon. I feel like I'm starting a new life. Things are so fresh. For so long I was searching for fresh. The latter end of school got monotonous, the weather was the same, everything was the same. Fresh things kept popping in, but never the whole picture.

Now, at the edge of summer, things are fresh. My room is clean, and there's no school on Monday. I'm going to go running, and I'm going to work out for me. Not for anybody else. This one's for me. I'm going to breathe, I'm going to write. I'm gonna make it happen.

There are three ways to live your life I figure. There's the crappy way, that most people don't choose. There's the neutral way, and that's the way that 98 percent of the world is. The neutral way is where you let your natural talents and abilities and circumstances take you where they will. You roll with the punches, you roll with what's given you. Some people are more gifted than others, so some guys excel with the neutral path.

But then there's the excellent path. The path where you take what you're given and you work to make it better. The path where you sit down and think what you can do to maximize your excellence today.

We've got talents. It seems the people I associate with are really talented people. I, just like everybody else, have talents too.

And so far the talents have been working pretty well for us all. We're moving along.

But I think that neutrality has taken us just about as far as it's going to. It's time to make a choice, and I'm choosing to be excellent. I'm choosing to maximize. I'm going to work. Not in short bursts, but all day long at a respectable pace. I'm going to take it to the limit. I don't want to just be mediocre. I don't want to just take the opportunities handed to me. I'm going to get up every morning and fight for excellence.

Oh yeah, it's a new day, and that new day better watch out. I'm ready to roll.

For all the talk and big words, it's going to come down to what I actually do.

Just you wait and see.

Humble Return

It's been a while since I've been excited about running.

But it seems like the dental plaque that was growing on my hippocampus is finally receding. The 2007 Cross Country season is dawning, and with it comes the athletically motivated version of yours truly that we've all been missing.

I went running tonight with Kyle and James. Both of them are talking about running with the team as often as possible. Do you know how sick that'd be?

We've had a ton of girls sign on. Some of the best girls in the school are talking about running for us. Our team is not only going to be bigger than last year, it's going to be the very best team I've ever been a part of.

When I say best, I'm not talking about competition. I'm just talking about my team. Cross Country brings out the very best in the world. It's wholesome. There's so much love and power out there on those blessed mornings.

I've been thinking tonight about some things the past few days to make CC amazing this year. First and foremost will be team unity. I've got some cool ideas. There's definitely going to be a resurgence of the Tville CC Album. We're gonna be so ripped, it's going to be amazing.

I'm shedding the fat kid right now. I'm turning over a new leaf. It's time to improve. It's time to go out there and become the best me that I can become. It's not about times and performances: It's about me.

This team is going to take me to the tip of my existence. I honestly believe that through Cross Country, Seminary Council, Mads, and rigorous study next year, I can reach heights I've never dreamed of before.

The key is work. It's persistence. Not short bursts of work, but an over-riding theme: a habit of work and progress.

Here's to you, 2007 Cross Country. Let's take it to the stars.

-And now, a genuine decision by yours truly->

Friday night. I will play harder Ultimate than I've ever played before. I will tire myself out twice as fast as usual. I will sweat like Andrew. I will play both sides of the field one hundred percent. I will blend every part of my brain with my instincts and physical prowess. I will flow on that field like I've never flown before. All the beauty and simplicity of flow with an added touch of "Ohmygosh-how-did-he-do-that?!".

When 10 o'clock rolls around I will be drained and spent. I will play heart and soul from seven to 10. Substitutions are for squares. Iron man.

Will I be unstoppable? That's up to the opposing team. But know this, I'm gonna give them the most frightening night of Ultimate they've ever seen.

Engage

I don't generally mind having a song stuck in my head. I never really understand people when they freak out about me singing something because they're going to get it stuck in their head. The only reason I'm singing it is because it's in my head and I like it.

Generally I love songs in my head. Not tonight though.

Because every time I try to think of something to start the post with, all I get is "Doooo dooo doooo, Doo Dooo do doooooo"

It's not even that cool of a song.

But it's alright. Because in the process of complaining about it, I've start the post.

So on we roll. Not because we must, but because we feel like it's the right thing to do.

I'm amazed at the power of cross country. Track officially ended a few days ago. We had the region meet, and that's the last meet of the season. Once that's over everything for me shifts to cross country. Training essentially starts as soon as track is over.

And boy oh boy, I can already feel the difference.

I didn't write much at all about track this year. I haven't written much of anything for a long time, actually. But that's not the point. Last year I talked about track a lot. I wrote about how I wanted to do, how I actually did, and why I loved it. I wrote about the charms and the discouragements, everything that made me think.

This year I couldn't really do that. Track and I didn't get along this year.

And maybe that's a story for another day. It's something I'm not really too proud of. I made a decision back in junior high that goes against the actions I took with track.

See, we're always in a process of shaping the people that we are going to be. Always changing, making small adjustments. We're finding ourselves. In the process of finding ourselves, we are truly making ourselves. There's nothing out there to find, there's only something to create on this path of 'finding ourselves'.

In junior high I saw some things that disappointed me. I decided that if I was going to do anything, I was going to do it well. I said that if I truly made the decision to pursue something, I was going to pursue it wholeheartedly. I was going to give it my all, not hold anything back.

That decision has brought me a lot of happiness since I made it. I do not follow it as often as I should. I love times when I make that decision though. I can see the difference, and I can still feel the difference weeks later.

On nights that I play Ultimate or basketball, you can always tell whether I've decided to go for it or not. When I make the decision that I'm going to give it my all, there's very little that can be done to stop me. That doesn't mean I'm going to win, it doesn't mean that I'm even going to play well.

But you can see it. I run faster, I jump higher. I literally try harder. It's not a psychological thing, and it's not a physical thing. It is everything rolled into one. My entire being is thrown into whatever I'm working at.

Oh yeah, it's good stuff. When I decide to truly pursue something, I pursue it pretty nice.

I did that with a lot of cross country last year. I know that I didn't do it with all of it, but for a large portion I did. I remember mornings when I woke up at 6:59, thinking that there was no way I could make it to practice in less than 60 seconds. I remember going back to bed, laying there and realizing that I was letting everybody and myself down. I remember that awesome feeling when I rolled out of bed at 7:03, knowing full well that I was three minutes late already. I booked it to school so fast that day.

I had slept too late to make it realistically, I knew that. I had a perfect excuse to go back to bed and miss that whole day of work. But I refused to. I got up and booked it to school. I made it right as they were leaving on the run. I got out and ran with them.

I was successful, and it was because of the choices I made that day. I made the right choice. I dedicated myself to it and I made it there.

It's like that. I made a goal last year to make it to every summer CC practice I could. I knew that it'd be hard; I knew what was on the line. But I made the goal, and I fulfilled. I think I slept through two practices on my own free will. Two out of about a million.

I am proud of how I worked during CC last summer. It's something that I can honestly take pride in. There's no question about it. I made good decisions last summer.

And that's what I want to shoot for in my life. If I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it well. I'm going to do it all the way. No compromises, no slacking.

Madrigals is one thing I want to apply this to. I am so excited to have made the group. It's an awesome opportunity. It's going to be so much fun.

But, straight off the bat I know I'm probably the weakest singer in there right now. That's not a bad thing, and I don't feel crappy about it. All it means is that I'm going to have to put more work into it.

And you know what? I'm going to. I'm going to bust it in there. I'm going to bring myself up to everybody else's level. I'm going to practice the songs. I'm going to stop chronically swallowing all my notes. With everybody else's help, I'm going to make myself a better singer. I can already see some results. I've been working these past few weeks, and I've been getting a bit of help from Levi and Kyle. I've got an honest desire to become better. It's already happening.

It's easy to talk big like that, sitting in the comfort of my office chair. My office chair doesn't ask me to exit my comfort zone. I'm not as consistent as I'd like to be. I see myself going through cycles of motivation and hard work to cycles of just getting by.

I've thought about that a little bit. What's the solution? Do I just try to maximize the accomplishments of my motivated times and minimize the time I spend lazy?

I don't think that's the answer. I think the answer is going to lie in changing the little things. I've tried the giant life altering approaches. When I'm motivated I'm really good at making plans and following through for a few weeks.

But those weeks eventually end, and I'm back to square one. So I'm trying something different. I'm making it a gradual, day by day thing.

I once had the plan to walk around everywhere on my tip-toes. The concept was that doing so would greatly improve my calf strength, and that'd increase my vertical jump by about a million. I'd finally be able to dunk.

I eventually developed shin-splints and stopped, but the concept is something that I want to apply everywhere. I thought of the plan like this: since I'm always walking, if I could change my walk just a little bit so that walking would help me improve, I'd always be improving. If I was always improving, my life would just keep getting better and better.

The plan wasn't to go do a raging calf workout every day. I wasn't going to hit the gym or power through an insane jump-rope workout. I was just going to walk around on my tip toes.

And that's how I've got to approach life. Yeah, the big stuff is important. But it's the day to day that makes us who we are. It's the day to day that changes the results in the long run. Sure, you can buy your mom a car once you're thirty, but being nice to her every day of your life is going to mean a whole lot more to her than the automobile.

So that's the plan. Make every day mean something. Make it make me a better person. It doesn't have to be big. Most days it probably won't be. But if I can make a real small difference in the world every day, after a while I've suddenly made a crater of goodness.

This theory of life goes along great with flow theory.

Unfortunately, I seem to have forgotten the intricacies of flow theory. I never did write it all down. I have the main concept behind it, and I do remember what taught it to me. I'll have to go on a quest this week to rediscover it. It was a good one, and although I didn't apply it as far as I would have liked to, it worked well.

I've often thought about what I could do to make something better. What I could to do to make the blog better, what I could do to become a better ultimate player.

I have a strong belief that desire is the key factor in everything that we do. The scriptures talk about it as it relates to faith, and the application spreads to everything else that we do. Once we have a desire to do anything, we can let that desire work within us to make it happen.

Which, really, is totally awesome.

Because simply by desiring to become a better Ultimate player, I firmly believe that that in itself makes me just a little bit better. Whether or not I end up leveraging that desire to find a way to become better, the simple desire completes half the task for me.

Desire is critical in everything that we do.

You can change days and you can change hours, but in the end its your life that's going to matter. The little things are the real variables here.

I think the key to really figuring the little things out is to consciously evaluate your day. Evaluate your decisions as you make them. Too often I find myself in auto-pilot, doing things just because. Not really for any reason, and not because I want to do them, but just because that's the way that I do things.

But if we'll stop and consider what's happening, if we'll give honest thought to what we're doing, we're gonna find things going a lot better for us. We're going to be happier, and people around us are going to be happier as well. We're going to be more successful.

I subscribe to the concept of individualism. I believe that we make the choice between greatness and mediocrity.

Everybody has natural talents that can take them to mediocrity. Everybody, I think, will default to neutral if they let themselves live long enough.

But it takes something extra on the person's part to truly reach greatness. The person cannot simply live life because there is nothing else to do. That person must rise up and make good decisions. That person must work and toil and become all that they can become.

That's the kicker. Are we waking up because we stopped sleeping, or are we waking up because there's something waiting for us out there? I'm ready to stop just letting life happen, and I'm ready to go face the world with a purpose.

I want to be great. I want to take it to the top. I'm going to do it with singing. I'm going to do it with school. I'm ready to do it with Cross Country. Yeah, I'm gonna start walking around on my toes. Maybe it'll tear my feet up, maybe it'll screw up some tendons. I don't really know, but I'm willing to give it a shot for a while. If problems develop I'll stop.

The point is, I'm setting out. Not on an epic quest. But rather on a slight course adjustment. I'm going to live my life, but I'm going to maximize the progress I make by doing so. When I go on a walk, I'm going to go on a walk to get somewhere.

"We're taking this thing to the moon!" -Strongbad

Fighting for the Post

I feel like a sports star sitting on the bench because of a broken ankle. I want to get out there and play so bad, but I'm restricted by a giant plaster boot around my favorite limb.

I want to sit and post and run forever. But there's an AP history test tomorrow, and I'm going to bank on this one and take myself a good full night's rest.

It's like I've been away for a long time. I'm trying to come back to camp, but conflicts keep getting in my way. One more battle to fight, one more river to cross.

One day I'm going to get there. One day I'm going to sit down and run forever. One night, soon, I'll let myself out onto this pixelated parchment, and for just a moment the post and I will be totally aligned. There will be no question about where I stand or how I feel that night. The purity and essence of the thoughts I have will be, for a brief moment, synchronized in two separate locations. The feeling of being entirely and unequivocably correct at two distinct geographies is one of the better feelings ever.

What's the news? I'm searching for Fresh. It's close. I'm trying to remember to quest and flow and be strong. I'm trying to make the best decisions. I'm trying to excel and make the most of the gifts and opportunities I have.

How is it coming? It's a never ending battle. The question isn't with ability or power or resolve. It's a matter of desire and consciousness.

We all have the power to make good decisions when we think about it. When we want to do what's right, we're given divine liberty to do so with greater power than we ever have otherwise. The desire to dominate, the desire to take ourselves to the next level, that's what it's going to take.

What's the news?

The news is up to you. Your news; your life. You are making the calls. You're the only thing making the difference between you and the next level. Where are you gonna stand?

Who are you gonna be?

Amateur-crastinate

Foiled again.

But worry not, I shall emerge victorious at last.

Why? Because that's how I roll.

I've got 11 minutes to write before Noakesy gets here so we can go down to the BYU invitational. I'm actually pretty excited for it. I'm only running one event, and I don't have to help put anything away afterwards. It's a win-win situation.

So, you'll notice that I promised a good post. I hold by my promises, even if they have to be delayed a little bit. There will be a good post. If not today, then tomorrow. If not tomorrow, sometime in the relatively near future.

But in order to make that good post happen, I'm going to need a little help. If there are any questions out there, anything you guys really want to see me write about, let me know. I'm not going to say that this will be a questions post, because I'm going to write something awesome whether or not you actually leave any questions or comments, I'm just opening up in the event that anybody has anything in particular they want to read about.

Predictions for tonight's game: Jazz by Four.

Predictions for tonight's other game: Me by a million.

Literary Magazine is essentially finished. That's a big sigh of relief right there. It's going to be really awesome this year, I think we did an excellent job on production. It looks pretty professional. Buying one would be a good idea, but if you don't have 20 dollars to throw at a book then don't.

The whole concept behind the literary magazine is awesome. Collecting all the best writing and artwork of the students of Taylorsville high into one awesome compilation? It's essentially a portrait of what Taylorsville thinks about during '06 and '07.

I'm in love with the idea of collecting awesome writing and ideas. That was essentially the idea behind the Taylorsville Alliance from who-knows-how-many months ago.

I think the Literary Magazine is going to be good, but not as good as it should be. No matter how awesome we do on production, we still rely entirely upon the writing of the students. It's not that good writing isn't out there, and it's not like we don't have amazing writing in the book. We've got some excellent work in there, we just don't know enough.

Next year I'm going to spam the .... Noakes is here. Cya later tonight.

Integrate Force on a Spring

*edit*

Good post coming tomorrow morning:D. It's 2:59 AM. So, no writing tonight. Tomorrow morning I hope.

In addition, I kicked Michael's butt at soul calibur.


And you'll get potential energy.

Good post coming tomorrow. In the meantime, my ceiling fan.