Saturday, September 27, 2008

Change My Life Blogaday - Day Six

3:11 AM. Not even good.

Weekends, did they count on the midnight plan? I'm not sure if I have to shoot for midnight on the weekends, but I should at least try for something reasonable.

So today was actually pretty fun. My classes were pretty good, considering I only had calc and physics. Calc was great because I got there on time and was able to ask a few good questions and learn some stuff. I have a test on Monday, and I think I can be prepared for it. That makes me happy.

Physics was, well, physics. Honestly, I've got no passion for that class at all. I go to lectures because I'd feel like a slacker if I didn't, but I don't make any attempt to get anything out of it. I wonder if I *could* get something out of it if I tried. I go to recitation because I'd feel like a slacker if I didn't. The grad student in there isn't much of a teacher. I usually go and read the chapter. Or doze off accidentally. I do the homework because I want to get a good grade. Sometimes it's fun. Other time its just a chore.

So tonight I had an assignment due by One AM. For every hour you finish a part late you lose 2 percent on that part. So it's a pretty soft deadline. I've got 70% of it finished. I was about to pretend to work on it some more, but I did the math and figured that I could get 95 percent if I did it all now, or I could do it sometime tomorrow and get 83 percent.

I know it's a loss of 12 percent. And I know it's not ideal. But there's no way I'd learn anything from doing it now cause of my attitude. So I'll give it a shot tomorrow. I have one I need to do Sunday night too. Oh physics, when will the fun ever end?

Things I like: Classic newtonian mechanics. Things I don't like: electric fields.

But it's cool. Other than physics my classes are all going really well. Graphics is still a bit annoying, but it's getting better.

My thoughts tonight are about changing my life, as I think they rightly should be. My progress towards changing my life was pretty negligible so far today. I did spend some time socializing, which was good. And I did move forward on calculus. And I stayed alive, that's good too. But other than that, I don't see much progress. My sleep habits will take a hit from today. I slept in the afternoon and early evening and stayed up till what will probably be four. My college GPA is at more risk than ever because of my actions regarding physics tonight. Not so much about the assignment as about the fact that I won't know this on the test. I did do a few nice things for people today, and I wasn't a jerk. But those were sorta little, passive things. Nothing huge. Still important, but not giant.

I looked at today as a very relaxed and easy day. The idea of the weekend lulled me into a false sense of security. I didn't *work* very hard today.

Changing my life will require sacrifice. What did I sacrifice today? Almost nothing, really. I sacrificed sleep to wake up and make it to calc. I sacrificed some time for physics, but it was far too little in the end.

Point being: I shouldn't have watched transformers with everybody tonight. While that was fun, I could have done my work in those two hours. I should have watched the presidential debate instead of sleeping through it. I should have taken better care of my bloodsugar. I probably should have shaved- I look like an awesome eighth grader without a razor with this puppy on my upper lip.

So, I don't feel terrible about this stuff. This post doesn't have a super happy inflection to it, but I'm really feeling decent. It was a fun day, that's for sure.

It just wasn't progress. It may have been retrogression, really. Nothing too severe, just not great.

So what's tomorrow? It's a brand new day that *could* mean progression for me. Or I could toss it.

I do love that the variable here is me. I'm the boss here. When we're integrating my life, we're doing it with respect to my choices and actions.

Friday is just about done. I hope that you're all doing well. I'm still committed to this, you know. Changing my life. It's important to me. It's not easy, but I guess I knew it wouldn't be. This cat is out, sleep well everybody~

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